Can you express your investing philosophy as a limerick?

[buckeye7983]

We have seen investing philosophies successfully expressed as haikus. How about as limericks?

[Triple digit golfer]

My preferred method is to index
With money I do not flex
I save and invest
I don't pound my chest
Direct deposit, no checks

[AnnetteLouisan]

Whether harvesting dividends
Or capital gains
Both financier and farmer
Seek shelter in the rains

Seek the rhyme and seek the reason
Betide it’s tax loss harvesting season
Make sure to check your bond duration
Adjust your asset allocation

Taxable or tax deferred
Common stock or convertible preferred
Either way we’re making hay
Especially on a Really Bad Day

Maintain calm on turgid seas
Abjure those Maserati keys
Stay the course and sell no more
Follow Taylor Larimore

[brockninja]

While others decide to flex,
I myself prefer the index.
Here, it's tried and it's true
My portfolio again grew:
So let's all just choose F(zero)X.

[steadyosmosis]

Wow! Impressive.

[JoMoney]

"Costs Matter!", said Bogle the Guru
Those advisors are trying to screw you
Keep expense ratios low
Compounding balances will grow
And to your portfolio the benefits accrue

[blueoval9942]

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who told his advisor to [Inappropriate phrase removed by admin LadyGeek],
To save himself trouble, he stashed away double,
And instead of worries, he slept.

[theron]

My lessons I learned long ago
Fancy advisors are definitely your foe.
When markets turn sour,
Staying the course is a hidden power
And indexing is perfect for us average joe(s).

[Chip Munk]

Each Chip Munk should squirrel away
The max in her 401k
From your pay, save a batch
Get the company match
For a happy retirement day

[JayB]

Bonds bought to hold
Until we get old
Not tempted to sell
That keeps us so well
Not sleazy, so easy, so bold.

[mhalley]

The 3 fund portfolio
Is better than Ray Dalio
Rebalance sometimes
In bad or in good times
Foretells real butter instead of oleo

[Triple digit golfer]

There once was a hero named Taylor
He retired and became a great sailor
He's always been noble
He follows Jack Bogle
99 and never a failure

[celia]

One day I told my honey,
“We have some extra money,
Should I buy more broth
Or convert to Roth?”
Now things are looking sunny!

[strummer6969]

An investment can be a gamble, it's true,
But with staying the course, it'll accrue,
A nest egg for your future,
So you can live life in leisure,
But be sure to keep an eye on the due.

[sailaway]

Bogle is my binnacle,
Index the pinnacle.
I buy and I hold
'til needs must be sold;
Of gurus be cynical.

[Beensabu]

Money does not grow on trees,
And won't buy you the birds or the bees.
But most of us figure,
Our stash just might get bigger,
Without too many vices to appease.

[GRP]

I bet at least half of these were written by ChatGPT.

[GRP]

There once was a strategy named Risk,
Paried with bonds, it beat the market's brisk,
With diversified might,
It balanced wrong and right,
And investors slept soundly, not irked.

[Beensabu]

I bet at least half of these were written by ChatGPT.

How dare you, I say!
You shall not take away
All those years spent
Not worrying about rent
So I could learn AABBA.

[Dregob]

We have seen investing philosophies successfully expressed as haikus. How about as limericks?

There is a retirment strategy called bucket,

Nevermind. I've got limmerick writer's block.

[retireIn2020]

I worked and I saved all my life.
Please keep brain so I don't live in strife.
One bad decision could cause me real pain.
I'm keeping it real so I can travel to Spain.
Hitting the brakes at the end so my kids can Transend their drive!

[celia]

I bet at least half of these were written by ChatGPT.

Oh, ye, who doesn’t believe,
Will you soon decide to leave?
We can type in rhymes
While we count our dimes
Limericks may be your pet peeve!

[retireIn2020]

I bet at least half of these were written by ChatGPT.

Oh, ye, who doesn’t believe,
Will you soon decide to leave?
We can type in rhymes
While we count our dimes
Limericks may be your pet peeve!

As I achieve my goal.
I realize the wisdom in your scroll.
It's not often a poster rejects.
However, you post with eject.
Nice to see others agree with patrol!

[Lawrence of Suburbia]

There once was a lad from suburbia
Whose finances made him perturbia
He joined Bogleheads
Perused some threads
And found himself far from penuria

[Stinky]

There once was a BH named Stinky
Whose wife really wanted a mink-y
His three-funded stash
Was all turned into cash
His fortune is now pretty dinky.

[JayB]

Neither spouse nor I are dejected
That to sell our I Bonds was neglected
We await the surprise
That will widen our eyes
When the true gain inside is detected

[RubyTuesday]

There once was a man who did work
On bogleheads he often would lurk
They taught “save and invest”
“Low cost index are best!”
A good retirement should not be a quirk.

[JayB]

I bet at least half of these were written by ChatGPT.

Chat G-P-T
Def not for thee
Original only
That's no baloney
Who needs AI just to be?

[RubyTuesday]

My money, oh where shall I park it?
Mr Bogle said own the whole market
And don’t pay high fees
“Out performance” oh please!
Your money should stay in YOUR pocket.

[SmileyFace]

There was a boy named Smiley
He invested in tech stocks in the 90s
The tech bubble burst
Smiley's investments turned worse
From that moment forth he became an indexing fundie

[jpelder]

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who told his advisor to [Inappropriate phrase removed by admin LadyGeek],
To save himself trouble, he stashed away double,
And instead of worries, he slept.

10 bonus points for the "Man from Nantucket" opening

[strummer6969]

I bet at least half of these were written by ChatGPT.

Lol, guilty as charged. I did add the 'stay the course' part though

[Longdog]

I bet at least half of these were written by ChatGPT.

How dare you, I say!
You shall not take away
All those years spent
Not worrying about rent
So I could learn AABBA.

Outstanding retort! Bravo!

[Stinky]

I bet at least half of these were written by ChatGPT.

No chatbots were harmed in the creation of the Stinky limerick.

[andypanda]

There was a young man named Dave
Who kept all his gold in a cave
It didn't earn much
No dividends interest or such
And was lost when the mountain did cave.

[Longdog]

There once was a new college grad
Who lost all the money he had
But staying the course
Allowed him to divorce
(The crazy temptation
From feigned adulation)
The trap of each ill-fated fad

(Apologies to limerick purists for the extra BB phrase - it is optional!)

[bikeeagle1]

Sometimes, buy-and-holders are right,
And returns, they soar out of sight.
Other times, the markets go down,
And the indexers are wearing a frown.

My solution? It mostly entails,
Getting out, as we run off the rails.
Then, when the train is repaired,
Get back on, while the others are scared.

"You can't do that!" the bogleheads rue,
"You must crash, like the rest of us do!"
"I don't think so", I type and hit send.
"I'll catch up to you, round the next bend!"

[strummer6969]

Sometimes, buy-and-holders are right,
And returns, they soar out of sight.
Other times, the markets go down,
And the indexers are wearing a frown.

My solution? It mostly entails,
Getting out, as we run off the rails.
Then, when the train is repaired,
Get back on, while the others are scared.

"You can't do that!" the bogleheads rue,
"You must crash, like the rest of us do!"
"I don't think so", I type and hit send.
"I'll catch up to you, round the next bend!"

Hmm, let's see what Chat GPT can come up with about market timing.

There once was a trader named Tim,
Who thought he could time the market's grim,
He bought and he sold,
His profits he told,
Till one day he realized, it's slim.

[bikeeagle1]

Sometimes, buy-and-holders are right,
And returns, they soar out of sight.
Other times, the markets go down,
And the indexers are wearing a frown.

My solution? It mostly entails,
Getting out, as we run off the rails.
Then, when the train is repaired,
Get back on, while the others are scared.

"You can't do that!" the bogleheads rue,
"You must crash, like the rest of us do!"
"I don't think so", I type and hit send.
"I'll catch up to you, round the next bend!"

Hmm, let's see what Chat GPT can come up with about market timing.

There once was a trader named Tim,
Who thought he could time the market's grim,
He bought and he sold,
His profits he told,
Till one day he realized, it's slim.

Cute, but what instructions did you give Chat GPT to get it to write that? I've tinkered with that thing a little, and been reminded of one of my college computer science professor's mantras: "GIGO."

[strummer6969]

Sometimes, buy-and-holders are right,
And returns, they soar out of sight.
Other times, the markets go down,
And the indexers are wearing a frown.

My solution? It mostly entails,
Getting out, as we run off the rails.
Then, when the train is repaired,
Get back on, while the others are scared.

"You can't do that!" the bogleheads rue,
"You must crash, like the rest of us do!"
"I don't think so", I type and hit send.
"I'll catch up to you, round the next bend!"

Hmm, let's see what Chat GPT can come up with about market timing.

There once was a trader named Tim,
Who thought he could time the market's grim,
He bought and he sold,
His profits he told,
Till one day he realized, it's slim.

Cute, but what instructions did you give Chat GPT to get it to write that?

To write a limerick about market timing. Here's a limerick about building a time machine and selling before a crash. I love this thing.

I built a time machine, it was neat
With it, I could make market defeat
I sold all my stocks
Before the big shock
And now I'm retired, quite elite.

[Freefun]

I used to spend too much money
Whether cloudy or sunny
I became a bogle head
Who was no longer misled
So now I’m as good as honey

[tealeaves]

As a youngster I was told,
To invest heavily in gold,
They said I'd be elated,
When the economy inflated,
But I'm not and now I am old.

[JupiterJones]

My method is widely reported
Mathematically, it's well-supported
I'll save you some time
It's only one line:
"Don't buy it if you can't afford it"

(Inspired by the famous SNL bit, of course)

[mptness]

There was a financial advisor
Who wasn't a good analyzer.
But all the same, he talked a good game
And his clients were none the wiser.

[loganvonstrangle]

I must say I don't know [offensive word removed by admin LadyGeek]
So on the sidelines I sit
I watch bull and the bears
Stress and pull out their hairs
Over bets that did not hit

[secondopinion]

The total market only gives one gain,
not really knowing one's risk-taking pain,
a non-constant tilt,
a bit of some guilt,
but all to keep me from going insane.

[secondopinion]

I bet at least half of these were written by ChatGPT.

My post is not. Nor is this reply. I am not going to bother replying in a limerick.

[Joey Jo Jo Jr]

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who asked “dollar cost avg or lump it?”
The reply came with glee, “To the Wiki with thee!”
“Your question, we already hath thunk it.”

[Longdog]

There once was a risk-averse guy
“Investing for some? Sure, not I.”
But then he did read
On Bogleheads feed:
Choose only to buy VTI

While dealing with life’s consequences
His assets grew well beyond pences
Retirement’s here;
Let’s toast to good cheer!
With 50 times yearly expenses!

[buckeye7983]

Thanks, all you Boglehead poets!
You’ve got rhyming skills. I didn’t know it!
My Roth IRA
Was a cause for dismay
But your verses will now help me grow it!