Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Non-investing personal finance issues including insurance, credit, real estate, taxes, employment and legal issues such as trusts and wills
Topic Author
rramaswa
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 6:08 pm

Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rramaswa »

Dear Bogleheads,
I retired last year after extensive research on whether I am financially sound. I am assured by multiple advisors I am good to go.
I have multiple sources of income. Pension, investments and no debt.
I have been doing a part -time job. I do volunteer as well and have hobbies.

I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire.
Most my colleagues are working.
I don't plan to return to the grind :)
Is this a normal process for the retirees?
Would appreciate some advice.
Regards
homebuyer6426
Posts: 123
Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2017 9:08 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by homebuyer6426 »

I took a year between jobs at age 31. After a few months I started to feel some existential angst and lack of purpose in life. Not sure if this is what you are feeling.

Generally people need to have a reason to get up in the morning, something to look forward to spending their time on. That doesn't have to be a job. But it does have to be something which satisfies that sense of purpose.
BogleHead1008
Posts: 144
Joined: Fri Jul 23, 2021 8:44 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by BogleHead1008 »

Congrats on your retirement.

Pick up golf and hit the range and you will have a purpose for your morning.
Point
Posts: 409
Joined: Mon Jul 10, 2017 9:33 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Point »

You’ve spent decades playing to someone else’s tune. Now you need to find your own. It takes time to dig in and figure it out. Establishing new routines with new friends will help. Fresh air, walking, working out, riding a bike or ebike, hiking, golfing, fishing… lots of options.

Look for groups: YMCA, church, meetup, Nextdoor, Facebook: try events periodically through these too.
Tamalak
Posts: 1007
Joined: Fri May 06, 2016 2:29 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Tamalak »

This is a fate I'm concerned about. We get so proud of our ability to make our portfolio numbers go up, we lose sight of the fact that it is just a MEANS to an end!

As others have mentioned, get some exercise/fresh air. It's astonishing what it does for the spirit and perspective.
campy2010
Posts: 1086
Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2010 5:01 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by campy2010 »

My advice for all problems: get a bike and use it regularly. Meet some people who do the same. Suddenly your calendar will be full and you will wonder how you had time to dream about work when you did not need the money.
Dave55
Posts: 1270
Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2013 2:51 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Dave55 »

Not sure what "a normal process for retirees is". Isn't it nice not to be burned out? And do what you want when you want? Congratulations, you graduated from the work a day world. There is a whole other world out there that has zero to do with a job or a career and you are the writer, director and producer of that world. Time to move forward and not look in the rearview mirror more than is absolutely necessary.

Dave
"Reality always wins, your only job is to get in touch with it." Wilfred Bion
protagonist
Posts: 7266
Joined: Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:47 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by protagonist »

I retired at 55. At the time, I was spending my winters in Venezuela and a month every summer in Europe.

The almost overwhelming response I got from South Americans and Europeans, when I told them that I was retired, was something on the order of "Fantastic! Wow, how did you do it? I wish I could retire at 55!!"

On the other hand, in my home country (USA), the common responses I recall getting were : "You are too young to retire!" , or , "Aren't you bored?"

OP, if you are American, perhaps that answers your question.

I suspect your guilt feelings will soon be replaced by schadenfreude, especially when you see your neighbor shoveling snow from his driveway at 6 AM to commute to work. *giggle*
runner3081
Posts: 4486
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2016 3:22 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by runner3081 »

Guilty about what exactly? We only live once and no one knows when we will die. Why spend that time with someone else owning most of your time?
Tom_T
Posts: 1702
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 2:33 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Tom_T »

Don't feel guilty. Americans are programmed to work, work, work, and "someday" we'll stop (if we're lucky.) You're lucky to have the opportunity to find out what else life has to offer. Enjoy it! You've worked hard.
RadAudit
Posts: 4116
Joined: Mon May 26, 2008 10:20 am
Location: Second star on the right and straight on 'til morning

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by RadAudit »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire.
... I don't plan to return to the grind ... Would appreciate some advice.
You feel guilty? Why? Accept the fact that to date you have lived a rather normal - ordinary - life. A number of us have some variation of the same story. However, it is not the only story. Others do it differently. You now have a chance to do try something different. Take that opportunity.
FI is the best revenge. LBYM. Invest the rest. Stay the course. Die anyway. - PS: The cavalry isn't coming, kids. You are on your own.
KineticSync
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 11:22 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by KineticSync »

The impression I've gotten here and a few other boards where retirees hang out is that for some it may take many months to cast off decades of the job pressures and regimentation. A few of the folks described it as "now that I'm not an -------, I'm having to find out who I am." Another one I remember was somebody talking about a guy who had a lifelong reputation, professionally and personally, for being abrupt and even mean. Once he was retired everybody started liking him. Kind of like his soul decompressed or something.

I'll be there in about 18 months and will report back. In the meantime, enjoy.
User avatar
samsoes
Posts: 1658
Joined: Tue Mar 05, 2013 9:12 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by samsoes »

I FIRE'd two years ago at age 56. The only guilt I feel is not doing it sooner. Those extra years I spent needlessly working I'll never get back.

(Edit: typo)
Last edited by samsoes on Tue Sep 14, 2021 1:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Happiness Is Not My Companion" - Gen. Gouverneur K. Warren. | (Avatar is the statue of Gen. Warren atop Little Round Top @ Gettysburg National Military Park.)
wolf359
Posts: 2451
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 8:47 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by wolf359 »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am Dear Bogleheads,
I retired last year after extensive research on whether I am financially sound. I am assured by multiple advisors I am good to go.
I have multiple sources of income. Pension, investments and no debt.
I have been doing a part -time job. I do volunteer as well and have hobbies.

I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire.
Most my colleagues are working.
I don't plan to return to the grind :)
Is this a normal process for the retirees?
Would appreciate some advice.
Regards
You have spent most of your life living by a certain set of rules. Now the entire rulebook has been thrown out, and you have to establish or learn a new set of rules to live by.

Don't forget that you've been in that type of situation before. When you moved from kindergarten to elementary school. When you first went to high school. When you graduated, went to live on your own at college. When you left school and parents entirely, got a job, and lived on your own. When you got married. When you had kids. You didn't just retire. It's like you GRADUATED to a new phase in life.

Work was a major part of your life for 30 years. It is now optional. You can choose to work if you want to, or you can choose to do something else with your day. Of course it's going to feel unsettling. It's a major life change.

What do you want to do when you grow up? Have you decided on a new life purpose?

Caveat: I am not retired. I expect that when I do retire in 7-10 years, I will be asking advice from YOU.
User avatar
cheese_breath
Posts: 10587
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:08 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by cheese_breath »

Retired at 56. Over my life I've felt guilty about various things, but retiring early wasn't one of them.
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.
Dottie57
Posts: 10326
Joined: Thu May 19, 2016 5:43 pm
Location: Earth Northern Hemisphere

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Dottie57 »

I too felt guilty since members f my social circle were still working. Time has taken care of that.

I retired at 61 so the wait has not been long.

Try new activities - explore! Activities don’t have to be something you have always dreamed of.
quantAndHold
Posts: 6364
Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2015 10:39 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by quantAndHold »

I retired at 52. At the height of COVID, I felt a bit purposeless, probably because I couldn’t travel and everything I had been doing shut down for several months, and I got bored.

Other than that, no, I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty. I’m much happier and healthier. The things I spend my time on are rewarding to me. I earn a bit of money from one, but it’s something I would do for free. I’m busy, and my life is pretty structured. I get up in the morning and do stuff all day, just like when I was working, except it’s stuff I am choosing to do.

Before I retired, I was fortunate that my primary social circle was people from outside work. My work friends pretty much drifted away once they figured out I wasn’t going to do anything for their careers. I’m okay with that.

The other volunteers at my volunteer job (symphony usher) always assume, because of my age (late 50’s now) that I’m still working. If they have enough curiosity to ask, I tell them I’m retired. If they don’t, I don’t bother.
Yes, I’m really that pedantic.
User avatar
jeffyscott
Posts: 9942
Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 9:12 am
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by jeffyscott »

protagonist wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 9:24 am I retired at 55. At the time, I was spending my winters in Venezuela and a month every summer in Europe.

The almost overwhelming response I got from South Americans and Europeans, when I told them that I was retired, was something on the order of "Fantastic! Wow, how did you do it? I wish I could retire at 55!!"

On the other hand, in my home country (USA), the common responses I recall getting were : "You are too young to retire!" , or , "Aren't you bored?"

OP, if you are American, perhaps that answers your question.

I suspect your guilt feelings will soon be replaced by schadenfreude, especially when you see your neighbor shoveling snow from his driveway at 6 AM to commute to work. *giggle*
Yes, winter is a much better season when retired. Clear the snow whenever, keep the car cleaner by not driving in the slop, and visit warmer locations during part of it (except for last winter :( ).

In a similar vein, when traveling in Europe and asked a few people if they had visited the US, they might say something like "yes, but only/just for 3 weeks". I have not really asked other Americans a similar question, but I am pretty sure the adverbs "only" or "just" are not used by us when referring to a 3 week vacation.
The two greatest enemies of the equity fund investor are expenses and emotions. ― John C. Bogle
Fallible
Posts: 7878
Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 4:44 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Fallible »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am Dear Bogleheads,
I retired last year after extensive research on whether I am financially sound. I am assured by multiple advisors I am good to go.
I have multiple sources of income. Pension, investments and no debt.
I have been doing a part -time job. I do volunteer as well and have hobbies.

I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire.
Most my colleagues are working.
I don't plan to return to the grind :)
Is this a normal process for the retirees?
Would appreciate some advice.
Regards
You list the many good reasons you’ve retired at 61 and the only comment I see that may be related to your guilt is that most of your colleagues are still working. Is this where the guilt feeling comes from?
"Yes, investing is simple. But it is not easy, for it requires discipline, patience, steadfastness, and that most uncommon of all gifts, common sense." ~Jack Bogle
Topic Author
rramaswa
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 6:08 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rramaswa »

Yes feels like i chickened out
I had no interest in doing the same old listening to the same song large orgs do.
i was dragging my body to work. I could not do it any longer
but some just go through grind and look at bank accounts going up.
some colleagues asked me why i was giving up a high paying job
User avatar
willthrill81
Posts: 25552
Joined: Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:17 pm
Location: USA

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by willthrill81 »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 10:33 am Yes feels like i chickened out
I had no interest in doing the same old listening to the same song large orgs do.
i was dragging my body to work. I could not do it any longer
but some just go through grind and look at bank accounts going up.
some colleagues asked me why i was giving up a high paying job
If you 'couldn't do it any longer', then there's no reason to feel guilty for not doing it any longer.

Regarding 'giving up a high paying job', let me quote my favorite English proverb:

'Enough is as good as a feast.'
“Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor are they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
mike@jb
Posts: 74
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 10:19 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by mike@jb »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 10:33 am Yes feels like i chickened out
I had no interest in doing the same old listening to the same song large orgs do.
i was dragging my body to work. I could not do it any longer
but some just go through grind and look at bank accounts going up.
some colleagues asked me why i was giving up a high paying job
Like you, I retired last year at 61. I was financially ready, and was also losing motivation at work.
After a year into it, retirement was the right decision.
I am still working on building a routine that replaces work structure and mental challenge.
I have leisure stuff covered (golf, fishing), but still looking for the right volunteer activities.
Hang in there, and don’t feel guilty. You’ve earned it.
TJat
Posts: 257
Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 6:51 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by TJat »

I'm a long ways off from your position, but have observed it with older family members. I think it boils down to viewing retirement as either "Retiring FROM something" or "Retiring TO something." Think of it like moving out of an area. If you are completely ready to leave a certain city in the rearview mirror, it's very easy to just pack up a suitcase, head to the bus/train/plane and hop on the first one you see. But without a real plan, you'll likely be listless once you arrive and stumble around with no real purpose. Retirement can be the same way. It's critical that you find some way to occupy your time and achieve meaning. Most people can only sit around on your porch, watch nature, and read for so long.
User avatar
JupiterJones
Posts: 3129
Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2010 3:25 pm
Location: Nashville, TN

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by JupiterJones »

Dave55 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 9:22 am Not sure what "a normal process for retirees is". Isn't it nice not to be burned out? And do what you want when you want? Congratulations, you graduated from the work a day world. There is a whole other world out there that has zero to do with a job or a career and you are the writer, director and producer of that world. Time to move forward and not look in the rearview mirror more than is absolutely necessary.
Love this! Well put. :beer
"Stay on target!" -- Davish Krail
KlangFool
Posts: 22121
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:35 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by KlangFool »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am
Most my colleagues are working.
rramaswa,

Find a new group of friends.

KlangFool
40% VWENX | 12.5% VFWAX/VTIAX | 11.5% VTSAX | 16% VBTLX | 10% VSIAX/VTMSX/VSMAX | 10% VSIGX| 40% Wellington 40% 3-funds 20% Mini-Larry
helloeveryone
Posts: 915
Joined: Sun Sep 04, 2016 5:16 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by helloeveryone »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 10:33 am Yes feels like i chickened out
I had no interest in doing the same old listening to the same song large orgs do.
i was dragging my body to work. I could not do it any longer
but some just go through grind and look at bank accounts going up.
some colleagues asked me why i was giving up a high paying job
A lot of them work because they haven’t achieved FI. They are not more brave and more resilient than you are by going to work. they do it because they have to. You didn’t chicken out….you set yourself up to have a choice to work or not work.
Topic Author
rramaswa
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 6:08 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rramaswa »

:sharebeer
helloeveryone wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:45 pm
rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 10:33 am Yes feels like i chickened out
I had no interest in doing the same old listening to the same song large orgs do.
i was dragging my body to work. I could not do it any longer
but some just go through grind and look at bank accounts going up.
some colleagues asked me why i was giving up a high paying job
A lot of them work because they haven’t achieved FI. They are not more brave and more resilient than you are by going to work. they do it because they have to. You didn’t chicken out….you set yourself up to have a choice to work or not work.
balbrec2
Posts: 449
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:03 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by balbrec2 »

KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 11:29 am
rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am
Most my colleagues are working.
rramaswa,

Find a new group of friends.

KlangFool
You don't have to give up old friends to have new ones.
Counting your wealth in friends may be more important than counting your
financial wealth, for your long term well being! Put your
finances on passive management, your friendships on active management.
Do this and you will have a happy, fulfilling life.
User avatar
Toons
Posts: 14177
Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2008 10:20 am
Location: Hills of Tennessee

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Toons »

Redirect your thoughts
Go for long walks
Focus on the falling leaves
In the "Fall"
Also as the years fly by
and I do mean fly,
you will reflect and realize you made a
brilliant decision to retire when you did,
with a lot of life energy left in you
Enjoy
:wink:
"One does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity" –Bruce Lee
Topic Author
rramaswa
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 6:08 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rramaswa »

:beer
balbrec2 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:58 pm
KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 11:29 am
rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am
Most my colleagues are working.
rramaswa,

Find a new group of friends.

KlangFool
You don't have to give up old friends to have new ones.
Counting your wealth in friends may be more important than counting your
financial wealth, for your long term well being! Put your
finances on passive management, your friendships on active management.
Do this and you will have a happy, fulfilling life.
Topic Author
rramaswa
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Feb 04, 2021 6:08 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rramaswa »

:D :beer
Toons wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 1:00 pm Redirect your thoughts
Go for long walks
Focus on the falling leaves
In the "Fall"
Also as the years fly by
and I do mean fly,
you will reflect and realize you made a
brilliant decision to retire when you did,
with a lot of life energy left in you
Enjoy
:wink:
JBTX
Posts: 8636
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2017 12:46 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by JBTX »

I'm a few years back and languishing in a state of quasi / intermittent retirement. What I perceive:

- still have some HS kid duties and other things that keep me busy but not full time. They are fine, but they aren't life sustaining.
-when not working you can feel a general lack of purpose
- I think I'd just assume work than do some of the busy work some others suggest.
- I just don't like the feeling of eating into savings or cash reserves
- DW still works and will likely for several more years
- not working while one spouse does makes me feel a tad guilty
-while I'd like to travel, I'm not sure I will get that opportunity for various reasons. Although I'm not sure I'd see travel as sustaining either
- how much is "enough" is not really clear in our situation.
HenryPorter
Posts: 278
Joined: Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:09 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by HenryPorter »

Give it a few months. By winter you will have a calendar of things you want to do with your free time. Lucky you. If it was me, I'd be hitting the national scenic trails next week to get some autumn hikes in.
pasadena
Posts: 1529
Joined: Sat Jul 02, 2016 1:23 am
Location: PNW

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by pasadena »

There's nothing to feel guilty about. You're 61, you've done your part. Now it's the younger generation's turn, and I'm sure someone is going to be happy that you freed up a job for them.

Enjoy.
Last edited by pasadena on Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
SnowBog
Posts: 1839
Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2018 11:21 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by SnowBog »

You may want to take a look at The New Retirementality: Planning Your Life and Living Your Dreams...at Any Age You Want https://www.amazon.com/dp/1119611482/?t ... ads.org-20

It focuses more on the non-financial side of things. The author makes the case that we are thinking about "retirement" wrong - we aren't wired to just stop some day.

And the simple version is figure out how you enjoy spending your time, and start aligning your life accordingly. That might mean continuing to work (but maybe at something you love regardless of the money), volunteering, helping out family/friends/community, teaching/mentoring, etc.

You have 168 hours a week to "spend", do so in a way you feel good about life and what's ahead.
KlangFool
Posts: 22121
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:35 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by KlangFool »

balbrec2 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:58 pm
KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 11:29 am
rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am
Most my colleagues are working.
rramaswa,

Find a new group of friends.

KlangFool
You don't have to give up old friends to have new ones.
Counting your wealth in friends may be more important than counting your
financial wealth, for your long term well being! Put your
finances on passive management, your friendships on active management.
Do this and you will have a happy, fulfilling life.
OP need a new group of friend because the current group is working and no time for him. He needs a new social network.

KlangFool
40% VWENX | 12.5% VFWAX/VTIAX | 11.5% VTSAX | 16% VBTLX | 10% VSIAX/VTMSX/VSMAX | 10% VSIGX| 40% Wellington 40% 3-funds 20% Mini-Larry
User avatar
Sandtrap
Posts: 14034
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2016 6:32 pm
Location: Hawaii No Ka Oi , N. Arizona

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Sandtrap »

Never feel guilty or fall prey to guilt.

Comparisons are odious.
Comparisons either lead to gloating, bloating, and egoism or insecurity and feeling inadequate and unfulfilled, both artificial constructs.

The greatest revenge….etc…is living well.

Carp Dime.
j🌺
Wiki Bogleheads Wiki: Everything You Need to Know
jginseattle
Posts: 912
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 7:33 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by jginseattle »

There is a period of adjustment. At first I was anxious about my early retirement. That feeling didn't last long.
balbrec2
Posts: 449
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2017 3:03 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by balbrec2 »

KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 1:37 pm
balbrec2 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:58 pm
KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 11:29 am
rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am
Most my colleagues are working.
rramaswa,

Find a new group of friends.

KlangFool
You don't have to give up old friends to have new ones.
Counting your wealth in friends may be more important than counting your
financial wealth, for your long term well being! Put your
finances on passive management, your friendships on active management.
Do this and you will have a happy, fulfilling life.
I am recently retired.
OP need a new group of friend because the current group is working and no time for him. He needs a new social network.

KlangFool
I don't read where it says they don't have time for him, just that they are still working. Is this something you are inferring?
My working year colleagues were like a second family and we often did things together outside of work. We still get
together on a semi regular basis. It is essential that one has a diverse group of friends from different parts of one's life.
Northern Flicker
Posts: 8333
Joined: Fri Apr 10, 2015 12:29 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Northern Flicker »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 10:33 am Yes feels like i chickened out
I had no interest in doing the same old listening to the same song large orgs do.
i was dragging my body to work. I could not do it any longer
but some just go through grind and look at bank accounts going up.
some colleagues asked me why i was giving up a high paying job
The pandemic creates challenges for staying socially connected, which can be a challenge for retirees generally. If you have hobbies you enjoy and are volunteering, you are doing well. There is no reason for guilt. Relationships with former co-workers may develop some strain if they are still slogging through the trials and tribulations of your former job. The ability of someone to celebrate the success of others can vary alot from person to person.
My postings are my opinion, and never should be construed as a recommendation to buy, sell, or hold any particular investment.
User avatar
cheese_breath
Posts: 10587
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:08 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by cheese_breath »

Do you have a spouse? Do you do things together?
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.
KlangFool
Posts: 22121
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 12:35 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by KlangFool »

balbrec2 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 2:51 pm
KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 1:37 pm
balbrec2 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 12:58 pm
KlangFool wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 11:29 am
rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am
Most my colleagues are working.
rramaswa,

Find a new group of friends.

KlangFool
You don't have to give up old friends to have new ones.
Counting your wealth in friends may be more important than counting your
financial wealth, for your long term well being! Put your
finances on passive management, your friendships on active management.
Do this and you will have a happy, fulfilling life.
I am recently retired.
OP need a new group of friend because the current group is working and no time for him. He needs a new social network.

KlangFool
I don't read where it says they don't have time for him, just that they are still working. Is this something you are inferring?
My working year colleagues were like a second family and we often did things together outside of work. We still get
together on a semi regular basis. It is essential that one has a diverse group of friends from different parts of one's life.
balbrec2,

As per title of the thread.
<<Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty>>

KlangFool
40% VWENX | 12.5% VFWAX/VTIAX | 11.5% VTSAX | 16% VBTLX | 10% VSIAX/VTMSX/VSMAX | 10% VSIGX| 40% Wellington 40% 3-funds 20% Mini-Larry
MDfan
Posts: 599
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2016 7:32 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by MDfan »

runner3081 wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 9:31 am Guilty about what exactly? We only live once and no one knows when we will die. Why spend that time with someone else owning most of your time?
Yeah, I have absolutely no idea why anyone would feel guilty for winning the game and retiring. I'm retiring next month at 60 and feel no guilt whatsoever. I welcome boredom on my own time for awhile!
Candor
Posts: 568
Joined: Sat May 28, 2011 4:25 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by Candor »

No guilt on my end. I worked hard and sacrificed to be where I am. Many had nicer toys, houses and vacations than me and are still working. I made different choices and have no regrets. It is a bit of a transition to have all this free time but I will work that out. I'm actually rather chuffed with myself. :beer
Time is your friend, impulse is your enemy. - John C. Bogle
jdamo
Posts: 146
Joined: Tue Apr 30, 2019 8:47 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by jdamo »

It takes a while to get used to being retired. Don't feel guilty. You are FI.
I am retired also at 60 and now for 2 yrs....I felt guilty and was missing my career for technical challenge at first but now the days fly by.
I don't miss having to get up early...I can drink coffee first and plan the day.

Keep in touch with work friends through a retiree network ...if there is not one, start one if you can!
I find ours which meets 2X a month for lunch is nice to visit with work buddies.
Plus make sure to plan and do things with your spouse (if applies)...I need to do that more myself.

Golf is a great game and never mastered really.......plus outside in nature....plus exercise
Cheers!
rich126
Posts: 2967
Joined: Thu Mar 01, 2018 4:56 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by rich126 »

I've contemplated retirement a few times recently but am hoping to stick it out until I am 60. Most people I know who are retired have never mentioned feeling guilty. They all wished they did it sooner.

For me I would enjoy work more if I could do my job from home or if it didn't have so many security things with it but it does provide job security. I have about 15 months to go. Ironically I could see myself retiring and then stumble into a job that I could do from home and work longer especially since at that point salary would be even less important to me.

I do recall when I was much younger in my early years of working full time that I felt guilty when I took time off but I outgrew that quickly.
FarmWife
Posts: 46
Joined: Wed Jul 15, 2020 9:07 am

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by FarmWife »

Sounds like survivors guilt. Not of an accident, but in this case you survived your working years and make it to retirement, your peers have not. You recognize that some of your peers are working because they have to, they are effectively trapped, and since you aren't... you feel a sense of guilt that you escaped the trappings of work.


As for your friends, keep in mind, not all of them are trapped in what you see as suffering, some of them may enjoy the trappings that you hated. You don't owe the world a certain number of years of work. You accomplished what you needed and have moved on, at your own pace. Your path is yours alone, and it no longer mingles with the paths of your coworkers. But your path is still good and right for you. Do not worry about their path, they will make their own choices, and you will make yours.


Also, seek out a new group for a while until your other friends catch up and your paths cross again.
skime
Posts: 208
Joined: Fri Nov 10, 2017 6:24 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by skime »

rramaswa wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 8:38 am Dear Bogleheads,
I retired last year after extensive research on whether I am financially sound. I am assured by multiple advisors I am good to go.
I have multiple sources of income. Pension, investments and no debt.
I have been doing a part -time job. I do volunteer as well and have hobbies.

I was totally burnout and the job did not make me happy given the stress and long hours plus the bureaucracy of the organization. I have worked for 30 long years and raised kids who are independent single handedly. I feel it is my time to live life on my own terms. That is what made me decide to retire.
Most my colleagues are working.
I don't plan to return to the grind :)
Is this a normal process for the retirees?
Would appreciate some advice.
Regards
Has anyone made you feel guilty about being retired? I experienced a lot of that and some actual vitriol thrown my way when I retired. It took me a while to shake that off. I no longer give it a second thought.
User avatar
runner26
Posts: 559
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2007 9:39 pm
Location: California

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by runner26 »

I started working at 8, selling papers on the street. From that point on, I was always doing something to earn money, because I had no choice and well I did enjoy working. I retired at 56 since I found myself with a terrible boss. Now pulling 71 and pushing 72, I have not missed working for a paycheck since. I fully enjoy my days.
startwithtruth
Posts: 98
Joined: Sun Jan 14, 2018 3:35 pm

Re: Retired at 61 why do I feel guilty

Post by startwithtruth »

This:
FarmWife wrote: Tue Sep 14, 2021 5:44 pm Sounds like survivors guilt.
I'm retiring in a few days (just shy of 61) and I'm definitely feeling survivor guilt. I've always been prone to that irrational emotion so I recognize it, and know what kind of self talk helps mitigate it (or keep it from getting worse). If you've suffered from survivor guilt before, try to view this as just one of those non-sensical emotions that you might need to observe and wait out. I'd be careful not to make choices based on trying to feel less guilty; just take your time and focus on re-inventing yourself.
Post Reply