- the logical thing for me would be that DH keeps working at least until your training is finished.
Yes, that would be ideal but I just don't think he can handle it.
- impressed that you manage to live off 70k in a high cost area with one child.
Thanks. We practice frugality on some of the big things (1 old car used rarely, much less housing than we could afford, etc...) and some of the little things (cloth diapers, make own baby food, minimal baby gear) and spend wisely on others (vacations, nice clothes, organic and local food).
But I think it's also important psychologically that we know we don't have to live frugally. Knowing we can afford whatever we want keeps us in check. I do worry that once we lose this psychological advantage (when income is closer to expenses), we'll struggle with staying on budget, but we'll see.
- I don't know what your current allocation to stocks is, but how would you both feel if your husband gives up work, the market takes a big hit and your sizeable nest egg is suddenly 30-40% smaller?
We'd feel horrible. In fact, we were down 30% or so a couple of years ago and then decided to stop looking at the accounts on a regular basis. It didn't seem real since we were still adding to the pile and now we are back to where we were (almost). That was a good learning exercise and it enabled me to convince DH to go with a more conservative investment mix (he had been 100% stock). We're now more comfortable with a 60/40 allocation, although to be honest, I don't think we are there yet. (Detailed portfolio review post coming soon!)
- don't be too optimistic with returns going forward: given current valuations stocks will likely not return their historical returns over the next 10-20 years and your best estimate for bond returns are current yields, which are low. a diversified portfolio may not return more than 4-5% over the next 10-20 years
Completely agree. I am a pessimist when it comes to guessing future returns...I'd rather be pleasantly surprised but plan for the minimum.
- how marketable is your husband? would he easily find a well paying job if he had to or not?
I think he would find a comparable job quite easily, probably even going back to his current company if he ever leaves and decides to go back. His skill set is not likely to become outdated quickly and he is well-regarded and valued.
- finally, I struggle a little with your husbands position. if his job is really that bad, shouldn't he left a long time ago and found something he liked? over all these years, he couldn't come up with something else that interests him? 180k is good, but it's not like other jobs wouldn't pay similarly well
You and me both! It's "the devil that you know..." and this particular devil keeps luring him to stay with raises, bonuses, time off (even paid time to look for a new job!), transition to a different job (that ended up being the same thing different clothes), and now what's holding him is stock options! His feeling has been that if it's all going to be the same then he might as well just stay at this company because it's been good to him. I also can't convince him that there are less-stressful jobs that require fewer than 80 hours/week that pay more than 100k. So on this point, I totally agree with you, and it's been the source of much frustration for me (JUST DO SOMETHING!! I have been known to yell.)