Breaking up with my financial advisor pep talk

[Solaris909]

So I'm gearing up to end things with my financial advisor. I'm really bad at this stuff, I get too emotional and sensitive about hurting his feelings and all that stuff. I know, it's ridiculous. But, it's also very real. I do have a Schwab brokerage account and I think it's a straightforward transfer. My only obstacle is notifying my advisor. I can take the easy way and send him and email. But we have been together many years, and while we are not friends, he has done well by me, We chat a couple times a year. I feel like a call would be more proper. Or can I take the easy way out? Any words of encouragement so I can stop over thinking all of this? Thank you

[jebmke]

Are your feelings hurt when he takes your money?

If the advisor has trading authority; you might consider whether it would be advisable to inform him about all this in writing (perhaps face to face) and revoke any trading authority going forward. There have been some prior threads where the advisor continued to make inadvisable trades after being informed of the change.

[Hyperchicken]

"You are...

/ puts sunglasses on /

...Terminated."

[toblerone]

It's a business decision. If you feel any guilt then I wouldn't call him at all. Just initiate the transfer from the Schwab end. If he calls you, just tell him you want to manage things yourself. He'll get over it.

[Solaris909]

Are your feelings hurt when he takes your money?

If the advisor has trading authority; you might consider whether it would be advisable to inform him about all this in writing (perhaps face to face) and revoke any trading authority going forward. There have been some prior threads where the advisor continued to make inadvisable trades after being informed of the change.

No, but the main reason is the fee, and reflecting on how it would have performed over the years. He's not trading a lot, I'm not worried about that. I do want to do this before he takes the next quarterly fee though.

Do you think email is enough?

[Atlantic_ave]

Yes, email is enough, and you want it by writing anyway. It's just business.

[SnowBog]

he has done well by me

Has he? Or have you done "OK" - in spite of the high cost and unnecessarily complex funds they put you in - including [presumably] the drain of their AUM fee?

With rare exceptions, your advisor has most certainly not done well by you... You most likely would have been - and most likely will be going forward - much better off with a simple, low cost, widely diversified portfolio devoid of AUM costs.

As to "advice" - its ultimately a business transaction. You owe them nothing - you've more than "paid" for their time. You are simply taking your business elsewhere. You don't need to provide them any explanation.

As to if an email is enough, I think that depends on the nature of the relationship. What does it take to "not renew" and/or "terminate" the relationship? If an email is enough to end the relationship, you have my approval to take that easy route! But if you have some sort of contract/agreement/etc. - it might require more than a simple email.

[Solaris909]

he has done well by me

Has he? Or have you done "OK" - in spite of the high cost and unnecessarily complex funds they put you in - including [presumably] the drain of their AUM fee?

With rare exceptions, your advisor has most certainly not done well by you... You most likely would have been - and most likely will be going forward - much better off with a simple, low cost, widely diversified portfolio devoid of AUM costs.

As to "advice" - its ultimately a business transaction. You owe them nothing - you've more than "paid" for their time. You are simply taking your business elsewhere. You don't need to provide them any explanation.

As to if an email is enough, I think that depends on the nature of the relationship. What does it take to "not renew" and/or "terminate" the relationship? If an email is enough to end the relationship, you have my approval to take that easy route! But if you have some sort of contract/agreement/etc. - it might require more than a simple email.

Alright thanks. I realize it's just business. Email would certainly be the easier way out. We're not buddies, but I feel like a call would be more appropriate, not sure. I just find these kinds of tough break up conversations difficult, regardless of the topic. But of course once it's done I'll be glad. I think he has done well for me. I won't get into the details but for the many years that I had no interest in anything financial, he managed my account well.

[Tamalak]

Don't think of it as a negative (he's inadequate), think of it as a positive (you've grown past the need for his handholding, with his help!) That forward looking and blameless attitude might help you dispel the idea of hard feelings.

[livesoft]

It reads like you need to hire someone to break up with your salesrep for you.

[GAAP]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU

[GaryA505]

he has done well by me

Has he? Or have you done "OK" - in spite of the high cost and unnecessarily complex funds they put you in - including [presumably] the drain of their AUM fee?

With rare exceptions, your advisor has most certainly not done well by you... You most likely would have been - and most likely will be going forward - much better off with a simple, low cost, widely diversified portfolio devoid of AUM costs.

As to "advice" - its ultimately a business transaction. You owe them nothing - you've more than "paid" for their time. You are simply taking your business elsewhere. You don't need to provide them any explanation.

As to if an email is enough, I think that depends on the nature of the relationship. What does it take to "not renew" and/or "terminate" the relationship? If an email is enough to end the relationship, you have my approval to take that easy route! But if you have some sort of contract/agreement/etc. - it might require more than a simple email.

Alright thanks. I realize it's just business. Email would certainly be the easier way out. We're not buddies, but I feel like a call would be more appropriate, not sure. I just find these kinds of tough break up conversations difficult, regardless of the topic. But of course once it's done I'll be glad. I think he has done well for me. I won't get into the details but for the many years that I had no interest in anything financial, he managed my account well.

In that case I'd say you probably received good value for what you paid, but if all you were getting was investment management and you can do that yourself then you don't need to pay for it any more. I'm sure he's lost customers before, and will lose customers in the future. It's just part of the business.

Maybe you should send him some flowers when you "break up".

[Solaris909]

he has done well by me

Has he? Or have you done "OK" - in spite of the high cost and unnecessarily complex funds they put you in - including [presumably] the drain of their AUM fee?

With rare exceptions, your advisor has most certainly not done well by you... You most likely would have been - and most likely will be going forward - much better off with a simple, low cost, widely diversified portfolio devoid of AUM costs.

As to "advice" - its ultimately a business transaction. You owe them nothing - you've more than "paid" for their time. You are simply taking your business elsewhere. You don't need to provide them any explanation.

As to if an email is enough, I think that depends on the nature of the relationship. What does it take to "not renew" and/or "terminate" the relationship? If an email is enough to end the relationship, you have my approval to take that easy route! But if you have some sort of contract/agreement/etc. - it might require more than a simple email.

Alright thanks. I realize it's just business. Email would certainly be the easier way out. We're not buddies, but I feel like a call would be more appropriate, not sure. I just find these kinds of tough break up conversations difficult, regardless of the topic. But of course once it's done I'll be glad. I think he has done well for me. I won't get into the details but for the many years that I had no interest in anything financial, he managed my account well.

In that case I'd say you probably received good value for what you paid, but if all you were getting was investment management and you can do that yourself then you don't need to pay for it any more. I'm sure he's lost customers before, and will lose customers in the future. It's just part of the business.

Maybe you should send him some flowers when you "break up".

Haha well flowers might be a bit much. But actually I did ask him a few weeks ago in email, if I decided to end things, how would that work. He said it's routine, no penalties, like no big deal. So in a way he's already primed a bit that I am thinking about it.

[retired@50]

... We're not buddies, but I feel like a call would be more appropriate, not sure.

If you speak to him, voice to voice, over the telephone, be prepared for the "full court press" as he tries to talk you out of this decision. If you think you might cave - and give him another quarter, or year to manage your portfolio, then use email and don't mince words.

Regards,

[tibbitts]

"You are...

/ puts sunglasses on /

...Terminated."

We see a lot of similar sentiments in various threads here. When you've been fired that way by clients/employers, how did you react?

[Hyperchicken]

We see a lot of similar sentiments in various threads here. When you've been fired that way by clients/employers, how did you react?

Burst in evil laughter looking at all the money I leeched off the client?

[Tamalak]

We see a lot of similar sentiments in various threads here. When you've been fired that way by clients/employers, how did you react?

Burst in evil laughter looking at all the money I leeched off the client?

"YOU ARE TOO LATE "

[steadyosmosis]

... I get too emotional and sensitive about hurting his feelings and all that stuff.

That's exactly the way he wants you to feel.
That's why he cultivated the relationship from the outset.
They are trained to do this.
I am like you ... finding it much harder to disengage from a long-time friend or acquaintance, than from a pure business setup.
If I were in your shoes, I would try to never see or speak to him again (within reason) (I know, he probably goes to your church, etc.).
I would not give him any more chances to use his training to squeeze more dollars out of me.

[RetiredAL]

Don't think of it as a negative (he's inadequate), think of it as a positive (you've grown past the need for his handholding, with his help!) That forward looking and blameless attitude might help you dispel the idea of hard feelings.

+1

[Doom&Gloom]

It's a business relationship--not a romantic one.

Would you feel you needed to visit or call your doctor if you wanted to see another doctor?
How about a plumber?
Handyman?
Cell phone company?
Car mechanic?

[goingup]

But actually I did ask him a few weeks ago in email, if I decided to end things, how would that work. He said it's routine, no penalties, like no big deal. So in a way he's already primed a bit that I am thinking about it.

You did the heavy lifting right there.
Send a nice email thanking him and telling him you'll be self-managing your portfolio. A phone call might be awkward for both of you.

You likely know this already, but you'll be dealing with your new broker who will pull over your assets into your new account.

[260chrisb]

So I'm gearing up to end things with my financial advisor. I'm really bad at this stuff, I get too emotional and sensitive about hurting his feelings and all that stuff. I know, it's ridiculous. But, it's also very real. I do have a Schwab brokerage account and I think it's a straightforward transfer. My only obstacle is notifying my advisor. I can take the easy way and send him and email. But we have been together many years, and while we are not friends, he has done well by me, We chat a couple times a year. I feel like a call would be more proper. Or can I take the easy way out? Any words of encouragement so I can stop over thinking all of this? Thank you

I'm not here to take sides but if he has well by you as you say then why are you leaving him and why do you have a separate account with Schwab? How long have you had the Schwab account and has he really done well by you? Some people need an advisor. Yes, it's a business decision and yes it's difficult and yes it's real but if you feel that you can do better on your own simply thank him with a call or in person for what he's done and transfer the account. I have a very trusted advisor who has been a personal friend for over 30 years. He helped me years ago as I changed jobs and did 401K to IRA conversions and has managed some of my assets for over 25 years. I needed him then more than I needed him as I got thru my career and started a brokerage account separate from his assets as I became more educated with investing. Thankfully I never had to have the conversation similar to what you're up against. I'm now managing over 75% of my wealth on my own and drawing from his accounts first in retirement thus reducing fees. Maybe you're in a similar position.

[tibbitts]

We see a lot of similar sentiments in various threads here. When you've been fired that way by clients/employers, how did you react?

Burst in evil laughter looking at all the money I leeched off the client?

The OP doesn't seem to feel that anyone leeched money in this situation. Obviously I completely disagree with this common-among-Bogleheads mindset, but it's not the only issue where I've found myself in the minority.

[Dave55]

It's a business relationship--not a romantic one.

Would you feel you needed to visit or call your doctor if you wanted to see another doctor?
How about a plumber?
Handyman?
Cell phone company?
Car mechanic?

+1

I broke up with 4 different advisors in my 30's and 40's all of whom I had excellent relationships with. A short note/email always sufficed.

Dave

[MrBobcat]

he has done well by me

Has he? Or have you done "OK" - in spite of the high cost and unnecessarily complex funds they put you in - including [presumably] the drain of their AUM fee?

With rare exceptions, your advisor has most certainly not done well by you... You most likely would have been - and most likely will be going forward - much better off with a simple, low cost, widely diversified portfolio devoid of AUM costs.

As to "advice" - its ultimately a business transaction. You owe them nothing - you've more than "paid" for their time. You are simply taking your business elsewhere. You don't need to provide them any explanation.

As to if an email is enough, I think that depends on the nature of the relationship. What does it take to "not renew" and/or "terminate" the relationship? If an email is enough to end the relationship, you have my approval to take that easy route! But if you have some sort of contract/agreement/etc. - it might require more than a simple email.

Alright thanks. I realize it's just business. Email would certainly be the easier way out. We're not buddies, but I feel like a call would be more appropriate, not sure. I just find these kinds of tough break up conversations difficult, regardless of the topic. But of course once it's done I'll be glad. I think he has done well for me. I won't get into the details but for the many years that I had no interest in anything financial, he managed my account well.

Initiate the transfer from Schwab and then if he calls talk to him. I was in a similar boat 5 years ago.

[Hyperchicken]

The OP doesn't seem to feel that anyone leeched money in this situation. Obviously I completely disagree with this common-among-Bogleheads mindset, but it's not the only issue where I've found myself in the minority.

OP is also concerned about "hurting his [advisor's] feelings".

That is why one should not make financial decisions based on emotions.

Emotions can be manipulated - just like OP's emotions are manipulated by the advisor.

Go by numbers and you don't need to rely on your feelings anymore.

[tibbitts]

The OP doesn't seem to feel that anyone leeched money in this situation. Obviously I completely disagree with this common-among-Bogleheads mindset, but it's not the only issue where I've found myself in the minority.

OP is also concerned about "hurting his [advisor's] feelings".

That is why one should not make financial decisions based on emotions.

Emotions can be manipulated - just like OP's emotions are manipulated by the advisor.

Go by numbers and you don't need to rely on your feelings anymore.

Luckily we both get to move on, knowing we're correct. That doesn't happen with many threads, at least not for me.

[aristotelian]

So I'm gearing up to end things with my financial advisor. I'm really bad at this stuff, I get too emotional and sensitive about hurting his feelings and all that stuff. I know, it's ridiculous. But, it's also very real. I do have a Schwab brokerage account and I think it's a straightforward transfer. My only obstacle is notifying my advisor. I can take the easy way and send him and email. But we have been together many years, and while we are not friends, he has done well by me, We chat a couple times a year. I feel like a call would be more proper. Or can I take the easy way out? Any words of encouragement so I can stop over thinking all of this? Thank you

Are you aware that you can initiate the transfer through your brokerage? You actually do not need to notify the advisor at all. Just give the account info to Schwab, sign the form, and they will take care of everything for you.

If you do choose to notify them as a courtesy, I would recommend doing so after the transfer has already been initiated. That way, they have no incentive to beg and plead since the money would already be on its way to the new brokerage.

That is great that they have done right by you, but you have already paid for their time and don't owe them anything more. Would you feel guilt about canceling Netflix or switching phone companies?

[obkenobi]

Hey,
I just went through this a month ago. I was nervous but it was very easy. It's almost as if he knew I shouldn't be using his services. I still feel bad, but not 1 percent of my money bad. Good luck, and I say just get it over with. I wasted more time worrying than I should have
J

[Jack FFR1846]

I've never hired an advisor. I've tried numerous times but I put them into the Clown-o-matic appropriateness sensor and it's always responded: "Boing, warning, Clown".

As a result, I do it myself. My current cost is 0.0156%. It's actually a little less but to leave things simple, that's close enough. I retired 15 months ago and since then, my portfolio has grown $700k. I've never made $700k in a year of working ever. I credit the lack of paying stupid fees.

I have, however, fired a doctor and got a new one. Know how I did it? I got a new doctor and then changed my PCP in the online system. The end. You can do exactly the same. Schwab will be more than happy to pull all the funds for you.

[illumination]

You'll find out what he thought of you when you've moved your business elsewhere.

I would just have the new brokerage "pull" funds (don't request the old brokerage "push funds") and then if you want, just write a quick personal email thanking them and move on.

[Solaris909]

It's interesting what you learn going through these experiences. Although it's my money, I didn't know I could just initiate an account transfer ("pull") from another account, then I could just tell my advisor as a courtesy. I thought it would be a drawn out process with lots of back and forth. I also was tearing my hair out whether to call him and tell him personally, or just let him know via email.
Anyway I emailed him, and his only reply was "It's been a pleasure working with you." That was it. I've been with him 15 years, we've talked many times on the phone, sometimes almost personally. Then it all comes down to a quick email. I definitely over-personalize these things. Weird.

[barnaclebob]

Does anyone here tell their old dentist or doctor that they are switching ahead of time or do they just not see you again? And those professionals nominally provide real value.

[Solaris909]

So I'm gearing up to end things with my financial advisor. I'm really bad at this stuff, I get too emotional and sensitive about hurting his feelings and all that stuff. I know, it's ridiculous. But, it's also very real. I do have a Schwab brokerage account and I think it's a straightforward transfer. My only obstacle is notifying my advisor. I can take the easy way and send him and email. But we have been together many years, and while we are not friends, he has done well by me, We chat a couple times a year. I feel like a call would be more proper. Or can I take the easy way out? Any words of encouragement so I can stop over thinking all of this? Thank you

Are you aware that you can initiate the transfer through your brokerage? You actually do not need to notify the advisor at all. Just give the account info to Schwab, sign the form, and they will take care of everything for you.

If you do choose to notify them as a courtesy, I would recommend doing so after the transfer has already been initiated. That way, they have no incentive to beg and plead since the money would already be on its way to the new brokerage.

That is great that they have done right by you, but you have already paid for their time and don't owe them anything more. Would you feel guilt about canceling Netflix or switching phone companies?

Thanks very much for this. Honestly I did not know I could just initiate a transfer myself and let him know after the fact as a courtesy. My whole mental model of this has been wrong. I thought he was literally a gatekeeper I had to go through.
Anyway I know now and I did initiate the transfer and let him via email. His response: "It's been a pleasure working with you." That was it! lol

[tibbitts]

Thanks very much for this. Honestly I did not know I could just initiate a transfer myself and let him know after the fact as a courtesy. My whole mental model of this has been wrong. I thought he was literally a gatekeeper I had to go through.
Anyway I know now and I did initiate the transfer and let him via email. His response: "It's been a pleasure working with you." That was it! lol

It's good that you have this done and that your account allowed you to initiate the transfer.

However, almost all Bogleheads seem to lack experience with managed accounts over which they have no trading authority. I can assure you such accounts exist and, if you such an account, your new brokerage will tell you there's nothing they can do to help you. You can't call an 800 number and have some backoffice rep at your old brokerage do the transfer either. You can't even transfer your money within the existing brokerage from one fund to another. Your existing broker/FA/whatever is indeed as you say the gatekeeper in these cases.

It sounds like you had already discussed this with him, and it's good/appropriate that you sent a note and parted on good terms.

[arcticpineapplecorp.]

pep talk from chatgpt:

You’ve Got This!

Remember, it’s your money and your goals. If your financial advisor isn’t aligning with your vision or providing the support you need, it’s completely okay to seek out someone who does. This decision is a reflection of your growth and your commitment to making informed financial choices.

Take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is about creating a partnership that works for you. It’s not a personal failure; it’s an opportunity to find the right fit for your financial journey. You deserve someone who listens, understands, and empowers you.

Prepare for the conversation with clarity about your reasons and your goals. It’ll help you communicate effectively and feel more confident. You’re advocating for yourself, and that’s a powerful move!

After this, you’ll be one step closer to finding the support that truly resonates with your financial aspirations. Trust yourself—you know what’s best for your future. Go get ’em!

[dogagility]

Any words of encouragement so I can stop over thinking all of this?

The advisor very likely views this as a transactional relationship and will only be upset at the loss of income from this relationship.

Think of it this way. It's not personal for them, so don't make it personal for you.

[CuriousGeorgeTx]

Listen to Paul Simon’s “50 Ways”

You can do this.

[Jeepergeo]

So I'm gearing up to end things with my financial advisor. I'm really bad at this stuff, I get too emotional and sensitive about hurting his feelings and all that stuff. I know, it's ridiculous. But, it's also very real. I do have a Schwab brokerage account and I think it's a straightforward transfer. My only obstacle is notifying my advisor. I can take the easy way and send him and email. But we have been together many years, and while we are not friends, he has done well by me, We chat a couple times a year. I feel like a call would be more proper. Or can I take the easy way out? Any words of encouragement so I can stop over thinking all of this? Thank you

The part in red^^^^ is telling depending on how one interprets it. I suspect the advisor has done quite well financially on account of the AUM fees you pay for doing something you can likely easily do yourself. Since your service agreement was likely entered into by two consenting adults, it's not like the advisor stole anything from you nefariously, at least to the letter of the contract.

Since this was a professional relationship, you should consider ending it professionally. Call your new brokerage, have them transfer all the funds, and once completed, then call your advisor and let it know that you have decided to take a different direction, and thank it for its prior service. Be ready for a high pressure pitcb to stay....the tone of that pitch will tell you a lot about the advisor. Just say you've made up your mind and the transfers have been made, say thank you, and end the call.

Good luck. Let us know how it goes.

[J295]

It could be that the financial advisor will simply shrug and say good luck. You may or may not be in A-level client for him.

I’ve terminated three financial advisors over the year years. I did one for my mother-in-law when my father-in-law passed, and two that my dad had been using until I took over his finances. It was a non-event in each instance. In fact, I played golf with one of them just last weekend as we are both members at the same golf club.

Make it easy on yourself. Send a short professional email Don’t overthink it.

[Exchme]

We just went to Vanguard, filled out the paperwork for them to pull the money. Then we sent an e-mail to the advisor, saying we've decided to go a different direction and gave no explanation as to why. We advised that Vanguard would be initiating the transfer. Any reasons you give or discussion you allow is just a way for them to rope you back in so they can feast on those juicy, juicy fees some more.

Of course, the advisor "messed up" the transfer about 4 times, so I had to keep prodding and magically it got done on the last day of the quarter, so there would be no refund of the quarterly fees.

[Hyperchicken]

I see no one is actually reading this thread and miss that OP has already fired the advisor.

[Solaris909]

I see no one is actually reading this thread and miss that OP has already fired the advisor.

Yes responses have slowed. Did the firing, and I was filled with swirling emotions about it. Self doubt is common. But then I remember the reason, and I know I had to do it.

[Dottie57]

It's a business decision. If you feel any guilt then I wouldn't call him at all. Just initiate the transfer from the Schwab end. If he calls you, just tell him you want to manage things yourself. He'll get over it.

This. Fidelity started on the transfer and then I left a message on his(fa) work phone. Easy peasy.. I never heard from him unless it was time for him to try to persuade me to buy his recommended products. There was nothing to feel bad about.

[Dottie57]

I see no one is actually reading this thread and miss that OP has already fired the advisor.

Yes responses have slowed. Did the firing, and I was filled with swirling emotions about it. Self doubt is common. But then I remember the reason, and I know I had to do it.

This is about your money and investments - business. I was happy to leave FA’s behind as their products put lots of money into their pockets. Thanks to Bogleheads I know much more. Enough to manage a simple portfolio.

Open the window and let those swirly emotions vanish into the night.

[nedsaid]

So I'm gearing up to end things with my financial advisor. I'm really bad at this stuff, I get too emotional and sensitive about hurting his feelings and all that stuff. I know, it's ridiculous. But, it's also very real. I do have a Schwab brokerage account and I think it's a straightforward transfer. My only obstacle is notifying my advisor. I can take the easy way and send him and email. But we have been together many years, and while we are not friends, he has done well by me, We chat a couple times a year. I feel like a call would be more proper. Or can I take the easy way out? Any words of encouragement so I can stop over thinking all of this? Thank you

I am generally pro-Advisor on this forum but if you get to the point to where you believe that you are not getting value for the money spent, then it is time to end the Advisory relationship and move on. A lot of times, people come here and learn a lot and realize they could do this themselves, so they fire their Advisor and that is absolutely okay. There often gets to be a point where you have outgrown the Advisor.

Ending an Advisory relationship is difficult but realize that this is a business decision. People in the Advisory business get fired all of the time, facing rejection is part of the business. Probably what I would do is to send an e-mail thanking him for all his help but that you have now chosen a different route and leave it at that.

[BitTooAggressive]

So I'm gearing up to end things with my financial advisor. I'm really bad at this stuff, I get too emotional and sensitive about hurting his feelings and all that stuff. I know, it's ridiculous. But, it's also very real. I do have a Schwab brokerage account and I think it's a straightforward transfer. My only obstacle is notifying my advisor. I can take the easy way and send him and email. But we have been together many years, and while we are not friends, he has done well by me, We chat a couple times a year. I feel like a call would be more proper. Or can I take the easy way out? Any words of encouragement so I can stop over thinking all of this? Thank you

Definitely put in writing and do it immediately. Also call right after sending email. Thank him and move on. It will not be as bad as you think. Don’t argue or debate or defend your decision.

[SevenBridgesRoad]

I see no one is actually reading this thread and miss that OP has already fired the advisor.

It's like those conversations where the other person isn't listening to you. Or maybe like when Ferris said, "You're still here? It's over. Go home."

[sambb]

this is about the money, not about the relationship. it is your money you are saving.

[Solaris909]

So I'm gearing up to end things with my financial advisor. I'm really bad at this stuff, I get too emotional and sensitive about hurting his feelings and all that stuff. I know, it's ridiculous. But, it's also very real. I do have a Schwab brokerage account and I think it's a straightforward transfer. My only obstacle is notifying my advisor. I can take the easy way and send him and email. But we have been together many years, and while we are not friends, he has done well by me, We chat a couple times a year. I feel like a call would be more proper. Or can I take the easy way out? Any words of encouragement so I can stop over thinking all of this? Thank you

Definitely put in writing and do it immediately. Also call right after sending email. Thank him and move on. It will not be as bad as you think. Don’t argue or debate or defend your decision.

Thanks very much. The deed is done.