Search found 35 matches

by cautious
Sat Nov 09, 2019 3:20 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: Spend It All vs. Leave $$ for the Kids
Replies: 200
Views: 22149

Re: Spend It All vs. Leave $$ for the Kids

Please, What is a SWR?
by cautious
Sun Oct 06, 2019 3:24 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Tax guy my mom hired has me paying suspiciously high tax on investments
Replies: 50
Views: 8125

Re: Tax guy my mom hired has me paying suspiciously high tax on investments

I don't think any funds are actively managed, but what [makes me mad -- moderator oldcomputerguy] --and god knows I tried my best to convince my mom to just either disburse the money to me or hold the trust in Vanguard--is the money is held in American Funds, which has significantly higher expense ratios than Vanguard equivalents, and it's being overseen by a money manager who brings the total fee up to one percent. So it's not just these taxes that have stoked my indignation, but their layering upon the already tender wound that I couldn't convince my mom not to pay this money manager (who's a family "friend"). Thankfully I can finally wash my hands of all this and shake off having paid that guy 15k or whatever it's been over the...
by cautious
Sun Sep 29, 2019 12:04 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: financially clueless senior MIL who thinks she’s rich
Replies: 162
Views: 23069

Re: financially clueless senior MIL who thinks she’s rich

Who dealt with financial matters surrounding her husbands death? Is this person or institution (bank, church...) taking care of matters for her? Have other family members gained her confidence? After years of not handling finances it seems odd that she is not seeking help from her son. Did she know more than you think she did or has someone quietly moved in to take over? Or is she just feeling feisty after years of being dependant on her husband? While her immediate family checks out the cognitive issue or who might be influencing her, you could quietly - way in the background - check out CCRCs in your area. I live in one. It is a good deal for social interaction, security, and knowing I will be cared for if my money runs out. But I did hav...
by cautious
Tue Sep 17, 2019 11:14 am
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Helping elderly parents manage finances - pros and cons
Replies: 62
Views: 6644

Re: Helping elderly parents manage finances - pros and cons

BarbBrooklyn wrote: Mon Sep 16, 2019 8:10 pm Ah, Rick; I see I'm preaching to the whole veritable choir here.

Be well and be at peace. You've done your part.
Amen.
by cautious
Mon Sep 16, 2019 3:45 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Helping elderly parents manage finances - pros and cons
Replies: 62
Views: 6644

Re: Helping elderly parents manage finances - pros and cons

I think there are several things going on here. I agree that her opposition may be a warning of early dementia setting in. Her resistance after years of accepting your management of her affairs suggests she may be experiencing confusion. She deals with that by being angry, especially if you admonish her about spending. Ideally she could tell you to back off if she spent on some minor extravagances. I also agree with other posters you may be compounding that by coming across as too controlling and patronizing. I've seen it happen in my family with a loving son instructing his mother in patronizing tones on financial matters. But there may other advisors behind the scenes here. Not just sibs, but other relatives, incl. spouses, neighbors, fri...
by cautious
Fri Sep 06, 2019 4:35 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Career change at 36- Finance to Nursing/PA?
Replies: 40
Views: 5901

Re: Career change at 36- Finance to Nursing/PA?

Consider investing in a consult with a Psychologist/career counselor. Check with your local university for referrals. A thorough assessment will help uncover your interests, skills, and possibilities for the future, timelines anf financial aid for a program, as well as the local job market. The counselor will also walk you through the realities of making the change as the sole earner for your family. One of my relatives, uneasy with his work situation went for a thorough assessment, and discovered his current job was really the best fit - he just needed the professional feedback. He was actually relieved, and decades later is retiring at an early age, happy, and financially successful. Apart from the family responsibility, don't let age hol...
by cautious
Wed Sep 04, 2019 11:22 pm
Forum: Personal Consumer Issues
Topic: Pre-paid Funeral Expenses
Replies: 66
Views: 5597

Re: Pre-paid Funeral Expenses

When I turned 80, I prepaid $700 to the Peoples Memorial Association in Seattle. Simple cremation. Family has instructions about ashes to be buried at sea - I like that the Ferry slows down so the family can deposit the ashes - or in the mountains whichever appeals to them. But since I signed the contract, Washington State has legalized human composting. I checked with the Memorial Assn which supported the legislation, and there will be a small added expense. Otherwise the family will not have to do much except celebrate my life. And they or the universe will get some free organic non GMO potting soil. The law takes effect 2020 so I will hang on till then. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/washington-first-state-allow-burial-method-...
by cautious
Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:23 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Need to get a car in a hurry.
Replies: 48
Views: 5812

Re: Need to get a car in a hurry.

Fix the car. Get the mechanical problem off the list of what-if's. If its a Honda or Toyota, it will go forever. In the meantime while your insurance is still low, you can decide on next car. And you will get the best price for the old one you fixed.

I did that with my Honda Accord, sold it to a friend, and its still running well six years later.
by cautious
Thu Aug 29, 2019 10:11 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Keep TIAA-CREF Contracts?
Replies: 3
Views: 423

Re: Keep TIAA-CREF Contracts?

Thank you. I kinda thought so.
by cautious
Thu Aug 29, 2019 5:30 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Keep TIAA-CREF Contracts?
Replies: 3
Views: 423

Keep TIAA-CREF Contracts?

I'm 85, clearing TIAA-CREF files and folders. Contracts began in 1969, plus an SRA (1985) which became an IRA in(2007) along with an MDR contract. When I began receiving annuity payments in 2007, a new series of contracts w/new numbers have added tot he pile. I have kept track of the numbers,dates and new issues. How much of the paperwork can I safely dispose of?
by cautious
Sat Aug 24, 2019 7:26 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: How to help an employee who is in debt and requesting a loan
Replies: 110
Views: 11074

Re: How to help an employee who is in debt and requesting a loan

You are right they should not act as social workers. The list is of agencies she should contact. People who are as troubled as she sounds, need specific details to move forward. Since she contacted her employer, she obviously doesn't know about what's available . Also, sometimes one contact doesn't turn out well - is not the right match. A list of others offers hope, and her phone calls or emails may generate even more info.
by cautious
Sat Aug 24, 2019 6:50 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: How to help an employee who is in debt and requesting a loan
Replies: 110
Views: 11074

Re: How to help an employee who is in debt and requesting a loan

You have received many excellent suggestions about setting limits, not giving her any more money, and the potential negative effects on rest of employees - who are probably watching the drama with great interest. What seems odd is that this woman made a request via email instead of a personal meeting. The email effectively precludes getting details about each part of the problems: the autism support system etc., more about the husband's role , and being able to judge the validity of her claims. In fact, I wonder how much of the story is true. I would not give her any more money. I would quietly contact social agencies, tell them you have an employee with problems and ask what services are available for each situation she is dealing with. (I...
by cautious
Thu Aug 22, 2019 5:59 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Are you a "solo ager?"
Replies: 133
Views: 22232

Re: Are you a "solo ager?"

I am a solo ager. I am now 85 and live in a CCRC facility. It was a choice for health reasons 10 years ago. Health problems and minor accidents crept in and when I could no longer climb around my steep rock garden, I decided not to wait until disaster. I wanted to be fully in charge of any move. So I made the rounds of CCRC marketing lunches to get a feel for the possibilities. Some were quite elegant but had all the ambience of a new high end hotel. I chose one that was older, had a lot of activity, residents with financial diversity, active politically and near town, with other options for activity. It also had a good reputation among professional women my age. IRS 72-124 covers CCRCs, but our state, like so many others passed a Bill of R...
by cautious
Thu Aug 22, 2019 12:42 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Have you ever used a Power of Attorney for Health Care or Property (Financial) ? Tell me about it!
Replies: 23
Views: 1829

Re: Have you ever used a Power of Attorney for Health Care or Property (Financial) ? Tell me about it!

I live in a retirement community. I have three nieces as DPOAs. All live in different states and are working women. To avoid their making trips for small hospital procedures that require a family member or DPOA, I designated a local caregiver as DPOA fro Health Care. My hospital record has these designations - no problem. The local DPOA knows the scene and can advise them. They have all met and understand my wishes.
by cautious
Wed Aug 21, 2019 11:06 am
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Do Bogleheads plan to utilize Independent Living facilities?
Replies: 108
Views: 14018

Re: Do Bogleheads plan to utilize Independent Living facilities?

And many in their old age have moved into my CCRC in rainy Seattle to be near their kids and grandkids. There's lots to do besides basking in the sun.
by cautious
Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:38 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Long-Term Care Decision
Replies: 332
Views: 23713

Re: Long-Term Care Decision

There's not much insurance in it. If you didn't buy the insurance, the $5,000 a year would probably grow to about $200,000 in 30 years. The risk isn't that you'll need $300,000 worth of care when you're in your late 80s or 90s. The risk is that something happens for which you'll need care for 10 or 20 years. A better policy would be one where you paid the first 3 years, or the first $300,000, and the insurance company paid everything after that. My thoughts are similar. A nursing home runs about $100k annually in our area. If the cost for the OP is similar, that means they would still be out of pocket $40k annually. At least it's unlikely that they'll need more than the combined 6 years of care funded at that level. The OP is, IMHO, is pro...
by cautious
Sat Sep 22, 2018 2:14 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Anyone ever use a career counselor/career coach?
Replies: 14
Views: 2244

Re: Anyone ever use a career counselor/career coach?

I did successfully - 40 years ago. After flailing around a while, I went to a licensed psychologist at a local university. After a series of tests and a discussion of the results, he explained why I should consider going back to school. He nailed it. Best advice I ever had. Happily retired now with multiple academic degrees. More recently, several relatives have done the same thing. One in the brokerage business wondered if he was in the right profession. A series of tests by a licensed psychologist confirmed he was in the right field. Opened his own firm and is retiring soon at a very early age. You may just need confirmation. Test results and consultation can make your interests and strengths clear - and sometimes give voice to something ...
by cautious
Sun Jun 10, 2018 5:12 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: Investing some of mom's money,
Replies: 31
Views: 2893

Re: Investing some of mom's money,

As soon as my mother learned she had cancer, she wanted me to help her put accounts in order. She was careful and frugal, but it still took a lot of time to go through all the paperwork, get names transferred etc. (Besides numerous CDs she opened savings account books for 20 grandchildren at all the local banks.) Yet it was a beautiful time because I gave her my full attention. Working at the kitchen table she had a chance to talk about how she had managed money after my father died. She didn't have formal education but was pretty savvy and intelligent, and I think enjoyed the opportunity to tell what she had accomplished. Let her give you all the details. After she's gone, in years ahead you will feel very good about giving her your time w...
by cautious
Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:53 pm
Forum: Investing - Theory, News & General
Topic: Why Edward Jones?
Replies: 92
Views: 23569

Re: Why Edward Jones?

The small offices embedded in the community among familiar shops are very convenient for the elderly or homemakers who can check on their finances while shopping, and get information from a friendly figure.

My 92 year old neighbor did that and I realized the extra expense was worth that social contact. There may be hidden costs but the trade off was a feeling of financial competence. She was proud of being in touch with her broker and monitoring her legacy. The extra fees were a good investment in her feeling of worth. I didn't offer any advice. Her kids might blow the money anyway. In any case they will get the house and CDs and whatever else he sold her.
by cautious
Wed May 16, 2018 5:47 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: Large Personal Injury Settlement
Replies: 58
Views: 7906

Re: Large Personal Injury Settlement

Gnirk wrote: Tue May 15, 2018 3:12 pm And tell no one about your settlement! You won't believe who/what comes out of the woodwork.
And if you told them, let it be known that professionals are in charge of everything except your immediate living and medical expenses. They need to understand the money is invested for your long term needs. You will probably have to repeat this several times until they stop asking for, or hinting for a loan.
by cautious
Wed May 16, 2018 11:49 am
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: 84 - Need to adjust portfolio
Replies: 4
Views: 798

Re: 84 - Need to adjust portfolio

Thank you Ralph, Gill and Bloom 2708.

Bloom, I think I may opt to slip in to the higher bracket or increase my donations.

Gill, We do have a sizable medical deduction ($3000+) because of the health clinic and access to nurses 24/7 even for those of us in Independent Living. I'll have to check on what those in Supported Living or Memory Care get to deduct. It's probably a higher amount.

Thanks again.
by cautious
Tue May 15, 2018 12:58 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: 84 - Need to adjust portfolio
Replies: 4
Views: 798

84 - Need to adjust portfolio

I’m 84 with a totally taxable portfolio. Due to catastrophic loss of health and income, I did not have an IRS liability until a few years ago. Sale of my home allowed me to buy into a retirement community and begin investing the small surplus. My goal was to increase my assets. Although I cannot be evicted from my CCRC community for lack of funds (IRS Ruling 72-124), I would like to pay for private care in-house if necessary. Currently I am in the independent living part of the facility, but with a life expectancy of eight years (IRS) and increased costs for supported living @ $10,000 mo, I could end up being a charity case. (The care would still be good - it’s a matter of pride and control over quality.) I consolidated all funds into Vangu...
by cautious
Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:34 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: In-laws financial advisor rip off
Replies: 35
Views: 5747

Re: In-laws financial advisor rip off

You are in a tough situation. I can understand your concerns about having to foot the bill down the road. You can only approach this using patience. First, you have to have your wife on board. You can do that with specifics costs - pencil them out using your investment vs.theirs for a specific holding. Keep it simple. Back off and give her time to digest it. Don't ask her to intervene - but understand that she might anyway. Second, let them describe their accomplishments, returns etc. as though you are seeking their advice. Listen without being critical but ask the occasional question of how much the advisor or fund gets of that. And then let them mull on that for awhile. Don't offer comparisons with yours unless they ask. In essence what y...
by cautious
Sun Feb 25, 2018 3:48 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Bogleheads: What are you doing to prepare for dementia/alzheimers?
Replies: 60
Views: 8345

Re: Bogleheads: What are you doing to prepare for dementia/alzheimers?

CULater, Like you, I was single and in my 70's when I thought about care in old age. I had some medical issues, and at high risk for dementia due to an accident and brain injury in later life, along with a Lyme infection. First, I did all the financial prep others have recommended here and set up a Will, DPOAs, Last Wishes, End of Life instructions, and wrote my Obit. Then I shopped around for a CCRC and went to several marketing events. To my surprise I bought into one in the center of the city. Transportation issues, access to museums and healthcare facilities were more important than my idealized place in rolling green hills. Access to the vitality of a busy city offers a lot of mental stimulation - and helps to ward off cognitive declin...
by cautious
Wed Oct 11, 2017 11:29 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Growing old without kids or younger caring relatives
Replies: 123
Views: 30594

Re: Growing old without kids or younger caring relatives

After several years of living here in comfort, I identified a caregiver who knows the facility and local hospitals well, and made him my DPOA for Health Care in case of a medical emergency. He is the on-site person when I have minor surgery w/anesthesia who knows my wishes until my relatives who have traditional DPOA and Executor responsibilities can fly in. This sounds like the kind of situation I'd like to find. How did you find your local choice of DPOA? How far away are your nearest relatives? He worked for a home care agency. We have several agencies who have been vetted to work with residents in Independent Living. I observed him with clients, also checked with the spiritual director who had been here forever, and eventually asked hi...
by cautious
Wed Oct 11, 2017 3:55 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Growing old without kids or younger caring relatives
Replies: 123
Views: 30594

Re: Growing old without kids or younger caring relatives

I fit many of the descriptions here - parents gone, no spouse, no children. Plenty of loving nieces and nephews but none in my state - and I don't want to disrupt their lives to take care of me. After a serious accident, continuing medical problems, and seeing a neighbor become too disabled to find her own living arrangements, I decided to look over retirement communities. I found one I liked, and then wondered what I was waiting for. I was not looking forward to selling my wonderful home, but it would be much worse if I had to do it in poor health. So I moved and I'm glad I did. I'm 83 and live in a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). I am in a physically secure setting, and all the hassles of owning and taking care of my home are...
by cautious
Tue Sep 05, 2017 11:30 am
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Got hit with a fee from td ameritrade on a transfer
Replies: 24
Views: 7202

Re: Got hit with a fee from td ameritrade on a transfer

The way you set up her account will raise all sorts of complications in trying to get a refund. Its her account and they may just continue to blow you off. Sometimes you have to walk away from a small loss and use it as a powerful learning situation. Otherwise you will burn up many hours of your valuable time and energy.

Still - its tough.
by cautious
Wed Aug 30, 2017 1:48 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: Help me help my grandmother (nursing home negotiation and best way to clear out a home for sale)
Replies: 29
Views: 3339

Re: Help me help my grandmother (nursing home negotiation and best way to clear out a home for sale)

"Have you or your parents paid an "equity stake", buy-in fee, or other large upfront payment to access guaranteed care for life? How should we assess the price we are quoted? Should we expect the facility to use actuarial math to price differently for different people?" I am 83 and live in a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). I bought in eight years ago due to declining health. It was a good move. The physical security is important, access to meals, a health clinic in house, (first aid for "playground injuries" to dispensing medication), access to nearby hospitals, and the community of people and activities is a bonus. Many residents say they move in to give their kids the peace of mind their parents ...
by cautious
Fri Aug 25, 2017 5:13 pm
Forum: Personal Finance (Not Investing)
Topic: What to do when a parent's money runs out?
Replies: 275
Views: 56095

Re: What to do when a parent's money runs out?

McCharley, You really are a good son. I've read all the posts and am not surprised your are fed up - and are probably dealing with your sister's anger as well. You can't continue without setting some limits on your generosity. Have you thought of engaging a social worker in your mother's community to discuss the situation with all of you? It would mean taking time off to meet, but you and your sister would have an ally who can evaluate your mother's status and refer her to resources in the community. The SW may uncover the emotional link to the house, and help her move on. The important part is to get a professional opinion about what is going on. One that is local and your mother may come to use in the future. Mother or not, it really is h...
by cautious
Thu Aug 24, 2017 5:18 pm
Forum: Non-US Investing
Topic: Buying property in France
Replies: 27
Views: 4213

Re: Buying property in France

"My wife is French and we spend two months per year in France. The mortgage payment, utilities, insurance, and repairs on this place are together going to be less than what we currently spend on AirBNB's every year." This will work if you are clear about everyone's expectations, usage, and responsibilities before the purchase. You list the financial costs as comparable to your AirBNB costs, but there are costs beyond the ones you listed. Do the three brothers live in France and what are their plans - inviting local relatives, friends, others to use the place, etc? What are the size of their families - children, cousins, and in-laws of every age? And what are their life styles? How will you divide the costs - utilities etc. damages...
by cautious
Fri Aug 11, 2017 1:49 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: How to not obsess over investments?
Replies: 45
Views: 6348

Re: How to not obsess over investments?

It sounds like you are doing very well - both of you. I've gone through periods of checking, reading, calculating endlessly. I feared the disgrace of running out of money, having to ask family etc. In your case, with your upcoming wedding and change of life status, the endless checking might be a useful outlet for all that anxiety. It may be a temporary obsession, but no harm in letting a counselor walk you through it.
My best to both of you.
by cautious
Mon Jul 24, 2017 12:55 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: Need investing advice
Replies: 23
Views: 3138

Re: Need investing advice

[quote="geltman"] I always feel that I am not doing a great job at whatever I do in life. Or at least I think I see people doing much better because they know what they are doing. I feel like I am groping. Sorry for the vent but for someone who gets up 3-4am each day and tries to keep busy, it isn't flattering to be home most of the day see others who also get up that early enjoy success and accomplishment. It sounds like your first investment is to explore career counseling. Your local colleges may have services at reduced fees. They will do testing to help you identify what your interests and skills are. They may be very different from what you have been doing. They may also have ongoing counseling or support groups to hone your...
by cautious
Sun Jul 16, 2017 6:26 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: Elderly Grandparent's investment allocation
Replies: 18
Views: 2187

Re: Elderly Grandparent's investment allocation

[quote="celia"]Sounds like she has enough to cover 6 more years of monthly fees then she will live there for "free"? I have heard that this is common. They can't kick her out just because she lasted longer than her money. If sounds as if she's in a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). Under IRS Code 72-124 , she cannot be asked to leave due to lack of funds. But this is only true for CCRC retirement communities. Yet some have gone into bankruptcy, residents lost their buy-in, and were forced to go elsewhere. In response, many states have passed legislation or a "Bill of Rights" to give residents some oversight of their facility. It would be helpful to have more details about her community and the State ...
by cautious
Sat Apr 22, 2017 3:27 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: Grandparent's Variable Annuity and Edward Jones
Replies: 9
Views: 2600

Re: Grandparent's Variable Annuity and Edward Jones

The most important part of your post is that you were asked for advice about investing new money. Maybe they have some questions about their investments and/or see you doing well. I would not attempt to undo the existing portfolio at this time. Instead, use one of your investments to demonstrate it's value. Make a point of your how much/little it cost you. It sounds like they are astute enough to take the next step and make a comparison with their expenses. Don't push it or you will set off alarms. Expect them to ask others what they think after they've heard you out. You may also find that by sharing your return - or at least part of it - they may be willing to share more of their portfolio. I would print out a portion that looks like the ...
by cautious
Sun Feb 26, 2017 1:54 pm
Forum: Personal Investments
Topic: Should we wait before buying in?
Replies: 52
Views: 6977

Re: Should we wait before buying in?

Ginnsky, If you haven't read https://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=132098, be sure to do so, if only for a laugh. I've missed market upswings because I was so committed to DCAs, I got stuck. Now, I have a chunk of credit union funds I'm moving to VG, from a very low interest rate to my AA. (I'm adding ST Bond fund as a sop to myself. Although the market is high (except for INTL), the pain of low interest is too much. Like you, I'm not a trader. I'm in for the long haul. When the market drops I will still have interest and dividends, and some capital losses for my tax return. I will make the transfer this week. The market will drop as soon as I do. So get ready to make your move! Also, I don't think the VG MM is FDIC insured. Helen