Oscarjrs wrote:So where can I find one of these monkeys?
Now, look... chimps are not monkeys. They are apes.
You see, my friend, you can't do this alone. I don't mean to offend, but you don't even have a basic grasp of the terminology of finance.
That's why you need PRIMEape Associates.
We don't just limit ourselves to apes, you know. Monkeys (yes, I know I corrected you just now about using the term "monkey", I'm still right) tend to be better than apes at picking small cap stocks. Has something to do with their visual perception, or something - hey, I don't know, I'm not one of those primatologists, I'm on the investment and sales side, okay?
And did you know they don't have to throw darts? Orangutangs can't pick stocks for crap with darts, but they're geniuses with bocce balls. True story! Spider monkeys? Poo. Yep, poo. Don't ask.
Anyway, you don't just want any
dart throwing primate. You want the best ones, selected by our proprietary screens for optimum performance. And all for a low, low two percent of AUM.
You want peanuts? Go with those boring index funds.
If you want to be better than second banana, go with PRIMEape Associates - Where Monkeys Make You Money™
(Yeah, the monkeys again. Ad guys. I'm still right.)