dbr wrote:My intuition is that if one or more siblings are inclined to get bent out of shape over slights, real or imagined, they will. Siblings that are inclined to make things work will likewise make things work. Nothing parents or executors can do will change those tendencies.
Lot of wisdom in that.
I do hope that proper planning will help at least a little, unless the people involved are just totally irrational (no rational solution will help with totally irrational people).
Too, at times like these emotions often just run high, which magnifies old hurts, slights, etc. It might help to recognize that up front (though there I am back to rationalizing the irrational.
Maybe things shouldn't be divided exactly equal, especially if one child has contributed more care as the parents age.
Whooo boy, that there is a can of worms!
Bob: I was there the last year when they needed me!
Sue: Yeah because you moved home at age 42 to sponge off them! I was there when they needed help 10 year earlier!
Bob: Oh, that was nothing compared to what I did!
On a related note: if two parents both think they are doing 80% of the work to raise their kids and keep up their house they probably have the balance just about right.
People are far quicker to recognize and value their own work than the work of others.
We live a world with knowledge of the future markets has less than one significant figure. And people will still and always demand answers to three significant digits.