Bogleheads

[FrugalInvestor]

I was intrigued when I saw this article which states that kids' second largest source of stress behind doing well in school is worry about their parents' financial problems.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/h....htm?csp=34

I've always felt that knowing my parents struggled financially was a primary motivator for me to learn to manage money well and, in the end, becoming a Boglehead. My parents were not irresponsible with money, they just didn't have much which taught me the importance of making and keeping it. I don't remember this stressing me but I suppose if it did I may have just repressed it. I guess if it was stressful, I'd have to conclude that the stress was worth it.

I wonder what others here think about this.
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"Complexity is easy; Simplicity is hard." -Edmund Keane

[traineeinvestor]

I find that things which cause me stress also help to motivate me. That said, there are lot's of things which motivate me without generating much, if any, stress.

Two things which may differentiate the way in which children experience stress are:

1. lact of control over the situation. Studies have shown that an inability to control a situation causes or adds to stress levels. Children obviously have less control over their lives and their parents finances than the parents do

2. experience. Almost by definition children have less experience in dealing with the ups and downs which are a normal part of life. With experience comes the knowledge that many (obviously not all) of the bad things which happen to us will either be fixable or will go away of their own accord. As I've got older, I've found that things which used to cause stress don't affect me at all.

[nisiprius]

"Mama and Her Bank Account!" (from the collection Mama's Bank Account, written in 1943 and still in print which tells you something).

A famous, wonderful, story by Kathryn Forbes. If you don't know it, it's really worth the effort of digging it out. Your library probably has it and if not they can probably get it for you. Actually it seems that all of it (it's short) is readable via Amazon's "Look Inside the Book Feature," or it was for me.

Oh, OK. Through the years, whenever things get tight, Mama literally doles out the money and says "It is good, we do not have to go the bank." If things get tighter she says "We do not want to have to take money out of the bank account," and the family figures out what they can do, a kid gets a part-time job or Papa gives up tobacco and they scrape by without having to go to the bank.

You can guess what happens but if you can read the story without your eyes moistening anyway I'll be surprised.

I'll have to ask my kids how they perceived things. In a sense we tried to do what Mama did: demonstrating visibly that money needed to be managed and was not in unlimited supply, yet trying to make sure the kids felt safe. Of course, it's easier to do that convincingly when there actually is a bank account.
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Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

[norookie]

I know my parents were easy "sells" for used car sales men, life insurance salesmen, bank annuity salesmen. Luckily i've "somewhat" educated myself, and found the boglehead philosophy to save my butt!. Now implementing its going to "cost" me better sooner than later though. Considering diversification, less risk and compounding w/my short time horizion I might break even. O 'Well............wish I was still a rookie!
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"I hope to put my last dime when I die, in the parking meter in front of the state house, then die in my car awaiting many parking tickets"

[flowerbuyer]

I'm hoping my grandchildren will see a little "reality", but I doubt if their parents will let them. Yes, my stepdaughter's family is financially stressed right now, and much of it is of their own doing. Massive credit card debt, long history of buying the kids whatever they want ($200 jeans for a 13-yo and $300 handbags???). Son inlaw is finance manager for a car dealership, and income has plummeted in the past two years. They have never saved during the good years, and continue to spend at the same level during the lean years. When my husbnd sold his company, stepdaughter and stepson each received several hundred thousand dollars for their stock. Stepdaughters is gone, stepson invested his. Grandkids also received $$ for their stock, but it was invested in a 529 for them.
We have always been very practical, and none of our kids were raised thinking money grew on trees. DH gives stepdaughter excellent advice, and she ignores it. She was theoffice manager for the company, so she knows her father's net worth, and I think she's counting on that as a big inheritance.....
I think children need to know of financial struggles, and that all is not as it used to be.

[bob u.]

Hi Frugal,

We live in a college town and one sees the stress writ large in the faces and conversations one has with these young people--a number of whom have had to take fewer credit hours or, in some cases, leave the university to look for part-time work.

I'm aware of a number of parents/grandparents who have had to have a heart-to-heart with the kids/grandkids. We've also seen instances where adult "kids" have lost jobs and moved back in with parents.

I'd say it's not only stress, but a lethal combination of guilt and shame. It's very sad. Bob U.
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"There's no hurry anymore when all is said and done."

[FrugalInvestor]

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