Bogleheads

norak · Joined: 26 Aug 2007 Posts: 201

In addition to my Vanguard mutual funds I plan to buy some precious metals such as gold because of the asset's lack of correlation to the share market. Gold is also a good hedge against inflation and stagflation. Many Swiss bankers recommend you keep about half your net worth in gold.

Gold ETFs, certificates for gold, etc can be problematic. In and end-of-the-world scenario when you may need the gold, it may be difficult to obtain.

Holding physical gold is a problem since someone can walk into your home and steal the gold. If you hide gold in your house then a thief with a metal detector can eventually find it.

I have an idea.

I plan to buy land in the country. I will dig many holes, say 5000 holes, and then I will put about $3000 worth of gold bullion in one of these holes. Then I will fill the rest of the holes up with copper bullion. Copper is worth about 16 times less than gold. I don't think metal detectors can discriminate between copper and gold and so any thief with a metal detector will not be able to tell where the gold is buried. If the thief tries to dig up every hole then the amount of dollars he will make per hour will not be worth it. Each hole will be very deep.

It is worth digging up the holes only if you know precisely where the gold is. One hour of digging will give you $3000 instantly, which is good value for labor. Those who are ignorant of the gold's location will have their average returns diluted by the copper bullions.

To make it even more difficult for the thief to dig up the gold I will plant trees in each of the holes so that the thief will have trouble getting rid of the roots and trunk.

To produce an income from the land I can grow sugarcane and produce energy crops for ethanol. The land is an income-producing asset.

EmergDoc · Posted: Thu Jan 22, 2009 9:03 pm Post subject:

Are you nuts? 5000 holes? And you think the thief would be wasting his time?
_________________
1) Invest you must 2) Time is your friend 3) Impulse is your enemy
4) Basic arithmetic works 5) Stick to simplicity 6) Stay the course

RJSachs · Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 330

RJSachs · Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 330

kenschmidt · Joined: 01 Mar 2007 Posts: 1000 Location: Cincinnati, OH

Better idea - buy a house made of METAL, hide your gold in it and the theives will NEVER find the gold. NEVER!!! BWA-Hahahahahahha!!!!

chaz · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 6639

billern · Joined: 07 Dec 2007 Posts: 494

nisiprius

Tall Grass · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 1194 Location: Kansas

stratton · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 7905 Location: Puget Sound

twacapt · Joined: 26 Aug 2008 Posts: 100

Me thinks you have too much idle time on your hands.

dinodino · Joined: 02 Sep 2008 Posts: 40

SP-diceman · Joined: 05 Oct 2008 Posts: 1520

Was it the fact that your bankers Swiss that gave you the
"hole" idea? (like the cheese)

I just ran a Monte-Carlo simulation.
30,000 holes would be the "ideal" mathematical solution.

Many, many years may pass before you require the gold.
As you may know. Ones memory isn't what it was when younger.

I would mark the hole the golds in with a big "X" so you don't
forget where it is.
----------------------------------------------------

What would bother me is after I dug all these holes.

The thief kicked-in the door to my house and stole
$3000 worth of stuff.

Thanks
SP-diceman

gpo account 2 · Joined: 03 Jan 2009 Posts: 34

I have odd images of piratical treasure hunting in my head. Arrrrr!!

FrankM · Joined: 23 Feb 2007 Posts: 185 Location: South Florida

I nominate this for Post of the Year!

Tall Grass · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 1194 Location: Kansas

stratton · Joined: 04 Mar 2007 Posts: 7905 Location: Puget Sound

Met Income · Joined: 24 Feb 2007 Posts: 970

It's like a commodities version of Deal or No Deal.

bo52 · Joined: 23 Jan 2009 Posts: 1

Easy enough:

-rent an earth-mover
-scrape the whole field
-sift the dirt for the metal
-extract both your $900k of copper and $3k of gold

Speedy · Joined: 11 Oct 2007 Posts: 472 Location: Sonoma

Don't forget which hole you put the gold in. If you leave your wife or other heirs a map, how will you secure the map?

I love these doomsday scenarios. Makes me laugh and reminds me that my investing plan is not so loony after all.

Don't forget about the guns and militia you will need to protect your crops. I think I'll go out and rent Mad Max or Waterworld tonight.

raddle · Joined: 25 Sep 2008 Posts: 316 Location: West TN

ROFLMAO. Best post since the great depression.

I can't help but mention, oz for oz gold is priced ~5000x more than copper.

ryuns · Posted: Fri Jan 23, 2009 12:30 pm Post subject:

Ain't no thang.
_________________
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. -- GK Chesterton

charlie1939 · Joined: 23 Jan 2009 Posts: 1

chaz · Joined: 27 Feb 2007 Posts: 6639

craigr · Joined: 13 Mar 2007 Posts: 2126

gpo account 2 · Joined: 03 Jan 2009 Posts: 34

danwalk · Joined: 14 Apr 2008 Posts: 338 Location: The Midwest

Ilovevolleyball · Joined: 11 Jan 2008 Posts: 331

Hello,

I am not sure what this post brings to the table. If a person really believed that they were rational and were not -what can we do about it on a blog? And, if they are rational and are just wanting to have some fun then that would be trolling albeit without being malicious.

I think of bogleheads as a community and you are always going to have those that you disagree with. Active vs. Passive. Slice and Dice vs Total Stock Market. CCFs. Roth vs Traditional IRA even.

And, even on the most heated of topics, the other side has good points. I enjoy and learn a lot reading conflicting views on CCFs in particular.

But this post, moreover this poster, does not enhance our knowledge on investing or on anything diehardian and I think it is time for this poster to be banned.

Mike