Bogleheads

[calloway]

I have wachovia and she has BOA. I know this question somewhat depends on the individuals involved, but how did you handle multiple banks once you were married? Transfer all to one bank with both parties with account access? Kept separate accounts? Your thoughts and opinions are greatly appreciated.

[billern]

[poisonivvy]

We got married in May and kept our legacy banks.

I have a credit union that I like and don't want to close the account because it has good services and some special discounts offered to members. I also like that there are physical branches that I can go to if given cash or checks to get into my account.

He has a Fidelity account that he uses for all his personal transactions.

Then we opened a joint account for the house and joint bills with Fidelity. I don't mind where we opened the joint account up, as long as it is flexible with being able to transfer money if needed.

We split our direct deposit from our employers. We each get $100 of discretionary income in our personal accounts. The rest of our paychecks go into the joint account to pay the house bills and save for things we want together (vacations, dog expenses, etc).

[366Abbott]

Great question. When we married, we combined our accounts into one bank. We have never kept separate accounts throughout our marriage (18 years), but that doesn't mean it would work for everyone. We have the same saving and spending habits, so it works for us.

[GRT2BOUTDOORS]

What ever we had during our single years we've kept separate.
From day one of the marriage, all income and expenses have been funneled through a joint checking/savings account. All investments are made through joint accounts. It's worked so far, but we are of similar mindset. It really depends on trust - but isn't that what a relationship is all about?

[Taylor Larimore]

Hi Calloway:

Pat and I have separate (small) accounts in different banks. We use our Vanguard Prime Money Market account checks for back-up cash, and Vanguard's Limited-Term Tax-Exempt Fund for higher yield for most of our "cash" savings.

In most cases, I doubt if it makes much difference using one bank or two.
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Best wishes
Taylor

The Majesty of Simplicity

[dbr]

I am an advocate that every married couple should provide at least one place of banking and some financial resources to each person that are separate from the other. This is a backup against any misadventures that occur due to death, divorce, lawsuit, incapacitation, etc.

Place of banking could be an actual bank, a brokerage or mutual fund account, etc. Also working couples will already have individual retirement accounts and the related machinery for payroll, contributions, withdrawals, etc.

[jlq39]

Once my wife and I were married, we combined our accounts into one joint checking account at my credit union. We have never looked back. We were "cautioned" by other friends that we should keep separate checking accounts and also have a joint account, but we honestly didn't see the need to make things complex. We both have similar spending habits and goals, so we gave it a whirl operating out of the same account. Three years later, we wouldn't do it any other way. Makes management of finances a lot smoother as well.

One thing I will say is that any couple should be aware and talk about their finances together. Communication is the key. I think a one account approach forces that to a degree because it makes you both accountable. I have friends that operate out of separate accounts aside from their joint account, and even keep separate emergency funds. Makes no sense to me. When you get married, your one unit, hopefully working toward joint goals, so I don't see the need to over complicate things by having multiple accounts. It has worked for us, but that doesn't mean it will work for everyone.

[3CT_Paddler]

[greg24]

My wife and I combined our financial accounts before getting married. But we are out of the ordinary.

[zookeeper]

[T_in_ATL]

We combined our accounts as soon as we got married. In our minds, if we're "one", then it really didn't make sense to have anything separate. Beyond that, we have monthly budget amounts for pretty much all of our discretionary spending items, from travel to groceries & dining out to the dog and monthly "fun money" amounts. We track everything we spend on a spreadsheet - which keeps us aware of how we're doing each month vs. budget, and at the beginning of each year we look at the previous year's data and adjust our budget / saving / charitable giving goals at that point for the upcoming year.

It probably sounds like a lot of work, but really it takes only a few minutes a couple days per week, and about an hour around the first of the year. More importantly, well into our third year of marriage we have had ZERO fights about money. As others have mentioned, it's important that my wife and I are like-minded financially, and while this might not work for everyone, it does for us.

[Toons]

Simplify your life,,,combine accounts to one joint account, I can't imagine doing it any other way
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Press On Regardless,In Good Times And Bad

[mfen]

We combined accounts immediately. We also hold POA on separate accounts such as IRAs, not in case of death but for day to day administration. We do live in a community property state and that does add a little twist.

One item that has come up time to time is with utility companies, insurance companies etc... Some of these organizations will only talk to the account holder. So whoever is going to have to call about these transactions needs to be on the account, either jointly or separately.
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Maryanne

[FrugalInvestor]

My wife and I have always combined our funds. We also discuss any significant expenditures in advance. We both feel that this helps us not to spend money impulsively and it has paid off for us over the past 20 years.

Edit: As nisiprius mentions below, we were also careful to establish separate credit . We thought that was important should something happen to one of us.
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"Complexity is easy; Simplicity is hard." -Edmund Keane

[nisiprius]

It's never been a point of principle with us. We have some his, some hers, and some ours accounts just because that's been the line of least resistance.

If you both work you tend to accumulate separate accounts anyway--401(k)s and Roth IRAs.

When my wife started to work, she wanted to establish her own credit. One small favor she asked from a friend who owned a car dealership was to let her take out a car loan in her own name--yes, it was primarily a "her" car--and she got a "her" credit card at about that time.

It can be a darned nuisance having a joint account. For example, if you decide to switch brokerages and they want a "medallion signature guarantee" on the paperwork and the only person at the bank who can do it is a VP who doesn't come in on weekend, then both of you need to take time off from work to get the signature witnessed.

Strictly 100% personal but I say let the accounts fall where they may. I dunno whether some denominations have explicit theological doctrine to the contrary but to me a married couple is not one melded person, it's two separate people with a very special relationship. When I see young earnest intense couples that seem to have a single melded persona I always suspect that one of them has submerged their individual personhood.

Oh, sure, we each have all the passwords to each others' accounts and have no financial secrets from each other.
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Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.

[3CT_Paddler]

[blink32]

Looks like I'm in the minority. 0 joint accounts. Save for a "house card" that the other one is an "authorized user" on. Wasn't borne from a trust issue. In-fact I think it takes more trust to have sep accts than it does joint.

Hasn't been an issue at all. Large expenditures are always discussed. "Large" will be defined by you and yours and is always a moving target.

[modal]

Not married, but I think regular expenditures should come from a joint account.

[jhh9327]

No separate accounts for my wife and I other than retirement accounts. Have other family members that do it like us and some that still pay for things like restaurant checks individually which I find strange but it seems to work for them.

[calloway]

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has replied and offered your insight and experience on this topic. Thank you!

[aainvestor]

First time we had 2 Joint checkbooks and a Joint savings account. Paychecks deposited in the joint account that the person had the checkbook for. No particular scheme who who paid what, I normally paid the house bills, Mortgage, electric, water, cable and she got groceries, clothes kids stuff.

I will probably follow the same thing for next time except I will have my existing accounts as seperate and open 2 joint checkbooks for money going forward from the time we get married.

Faron

[LadyGeek]

Work out a budget with specific agreement of who pays what. It really depends on comfort level and relative income levels.

My spouse and I have a negotiated split based on what we can pay. One pays the mortgage, the other pays utilities, etc. Separate checking/savings, but a joint savings account for long-term goals (and emergency fund access).

Remember that everything is combined when you make your budget, emergency cash fund (6 - 8 months), and retirement planning (don't forget to save for retirement).
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Some say the glass half-full. Others say the glass is half-empty. To an engineer, it’s twice as big as it needs to be. Link to Wiki

[musbane]

We come down on the side of joint everything.
But that has bitten us in an unexpected way.
My wife is an alien and a couple of years ago we found out that if I croak first, the gummint will treat her taxwise the same as if I left everything to my cat. Such as no marital exclusion beyond the - I forget the term - beyond which they start taxing. This number seems to be a moving target and will soon change again.
Any joint accounts we have will be counted for tax purposes as MINE and taxed accordingly. So since we found out, I have been 'gifting' her with her own money (actually real estate) which she now keeps seperately.
She also has a relatively small IRA in her name, but she isn't old enough to draw on it yet.
Which brings up another point. I think it was dbr who pointed out that there could be hassels associated with her getting at assets quickly in the event of my death. I hadn't thought of that. She can't eat real estate, and and our special circumstances might make things worse. So I guess I need to bury some cash in tins in the back yard..
You know, its goofy. If we got a divorce, she would get half on the principle that even if I seemed to have earned most of it, She was always supporting me behind the scenes, etc. Which, at least in my case, is so very true.

[celia]

What do your before-marriage accounts look like? Does one person forget to log the checks they write and doesn't care about balancing the checking account, whereas the other persons know where every penny goes? Does one of you visit the ATM frequently whereas the other doesn't even know where it is? Is one person way more of a spender than the other?

These are good things to talk about before tying the knot. If your "styles" are much different from each other, it will probably help to at least have some money in separate accounts.

[TJAJ9]

For the most part (except a prenup, for example), no matter what you want to keep separate, once you're married, whatever is your's is their's and whatever is their's is your's. Keeping things separate is just a personal preference. If you get divorced, everything is going 50/50 for the most part.

If you don't like sharing, or you're so worried about keeping things separate, you might want to rethink getting married.

[Lacrocious]

For us - we have two joint accounts. One is through a credit union where I work - convenient to the office, etc. The other is convenient to our house, branches in supermarkets that have nice hours. It's worked well. Direct Deposit my check tot he CU and her's to the bank. Bills get paid out of either, although the bank is more for day-to-day expenses - as it as a debit/tyme card. Never got one for the CU.

It's really all been about flexability in access.

- L

[verbose]

We combined accounts when we married. We were young, and it's easy to combine nothing and nothing.

My husband never learned to manage finances. I took his checkbook away from him while we were still dating. It was his first-ever checking account. He wrote checks, but didn't use the register. Instead, he'd do a balance check at an ATM (and pay for that transaction) to find out if he could write another check.

He never got the checkbook back, though I think he gets it now. He likes to say that I'm the "CFO" and he's the "CEO." Cute.

[Ziggy75]

I think having individual and joint accounts are important.

Gift giving is a problem with a joint account. Yeah, my wife buys me a nice snow blower; but in my mind I "payed" for it.

Having individual accounts for fun spending is nice. It allows each individual to buy and give without affecting the budget. A little independence and freedom are needed within a marriage.

[mfen]

While we did combine accounts we have never lacked independence in our spending. It was just a matter of administration rather than spending habits. I am the spendthrift, John is thrifty but we manage. We set a limit of $X for talk it over before spending and we do co-manage our portfolio. I do the nuts and bolts, research and present him with my findings then we discuss. John had a deep understanding of finance and particularly tax consequences but he would just rather spend his time doing something else. I do all bookkeeping and bill payment again he would rather do something else. Every 6 months or so he asks for a run down on expenditures. So joint accounts made sense for us.
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Maryanne

[elbryn1000]

after we got married, we looked at our existing accounts and which was the better. at the time i had a bank account with free billpay grandfathered in from a student account class that no longer existed. compared to her's which was a clunkier billpay at the time, we combined into mine.

we opted for a system of combined income into one account but we also gave each other a set allowance per month of fun money, no strings attached. we use separate accounts for that and the money is transferred in per month. gives me free reign to buy season football tickets and her to go shopping for shoes, handbags, whatever fits her fancy. Any of the other household purchases, we typically confer with each other if it's expensive.

From the savings perspective, we hold a joint vanguard account that holds the emergency funds and investment funds.

[Fbone]

I always thought it empowers the wife by having her own accounts.

[brxn]

separate accounts for everything

[sommerfeld]

Just got married this summer.

We each have individual accounts at local credit unions and a joint account at "my" credit union which we set up before the wedding.

We have a budget spreadsheet for household expenses, and each direct-deposit our share of the budgeted amount (plus a little extra) every pay period into the joint account; the balance goes into our personal accounts (our employers allow splitting direct deposit between multiple banks).

[nisiprius]

[legio XX]

Make that one more strong votes for the individual accounts plus one joint acc't for household stuff. Not a matter of distrust, simply works well. Been there and sone that.

Vic