Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

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Tortoise Banker
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Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Tortoise Banker »

Reduced my monthly investment savings substantially today. My wife and I are expecting which is terrific news, but kind of bumbed at the economic implications.

Any stories out there of moving to one income source and making it work! Went from maxing two IRAs and nearly maxing my 401k (she doesn't have one) to investing only up to company match (5%).

Hoping to increase as we sort out logistics of back to work and child care, but would love to hear any of the bogleheads success stories.

Thanks, and sorry for not including our full financial profile, but more interested in hearing other's stories vs. suggestions on our own. We are both frugal bogleheads, so eventually we'll get back up to snuff.

Thanks!!!
TB
Luv2savmoney
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Luv2savmoney »

Can be done. Enjoy the time!

Source: One income family here so far with a 4 yr old
Laura
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Laura »

Congrats on the new member of the family. Not sure where you live but can you reduce your housing costs by moving to a different house or by renting out part of the house? I would also take a look at all of your expenses to see what you can cut back at this point. Do you really need 100 cable channels, for example? You might be surprised at how much you can cut out of your budget without really missing it. I did this a few years ago and told myself that if I really missed something after 3 months I could sign up again. I didn't need anything I cut out.

Kids are not cheap. College is really expensive and everything up to that point costs money as well. It could well be worth trying to find something your wife could do from home to earn a little money. You will probably want to start college savings as well but hold off on that until your retirement is on track. People will loan your child money for school but they won't loan you money for retirement. You need to take care of yourself first.

Laura
The views presented are my own and not necessarily those of the Department of State or the U.S. Government.
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cheese_breath
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by cheese_breath »

Downscale your lifestyle to match your income. Drive Chevys instead of Buicks and keep them longer. Take in movies at matinee prices instead of evenings. Shop at Sears instead of Sacs. You get the idea. My wives didn't work outside the home. I was the sole earner. Second marriage was with five kids (2 mine, 3 hers), and we got by. Just live within your income, and ignore the Jones living the high life next door.
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clacy
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by clacy »

Kids are 100x more awesome than retiring 5 years ealier or expensive vacations and such. You'll soon realize that so congratulations.

3 kids, single income here.

You have to make choices with your money obviously, but it's well worth it and can be done.
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SpendLess
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by SpendLess »

I'm In the same boat. Wife expecting and going down to one income. It was something we always planned on so we made the last two years she worked --and only 2 years we were married-- count. Maxing 401k and Roth's (she didn't have a work 401k as a teacher), getting 50% of EF to I-bonds 12 months before planned due date and investing the rest of our savings in taxable account. We live on just my income now and save the rest. Minus the big trip to Europe we took and other vacations (hey, enjoy not having a kid while you can!)

Hopefully we don't touch the savings and it grows nicely.

I am also shopping for life insurrance. Enough for her and child to live on until she goes back to work when he/she goes to kindergarten and enough insurance on her to cover a few year's daycare expenses.

Yes we're both nervous that we'll have enough income but we know people who make do with less. Both being like minded that a stay at home parent is best for children has made the decision easy.
TravelforFun
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by TravelforFun »

Tortoise Banker wrote: Any stories out there of moving to one income source and making it work!
TB
I wouldn't worry too much about it. I went through this three times and each time we became a one-income family for about two years. We survived by cutting back on unnecessary expenses and me picking up a part-time job here and there. Now with three adult children, a daughter-in-law and three beautiful grandkids, we live in the same city, travel everywhere and enjoy life together; I can say that what we had to do was well worth it.
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mephistophles
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by mephistophles »

We lived entirely on my income for over 30 years while raising children plus some other years. Getting rich or retiring early were not our goals during that period. It worked out very well for us.
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celia
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by celia »

Let's look at your financial advantages:

Lower income means less taxes will be paid
Another exemption!
Child Care tax credit (if you pay for babysitter or preschool so that you can both work)
You've already saved some money and now you're going to let it "grow". You will be amazed at the growth/compounding if you don't touch it.

You're ahead of most people your age!
Congratulations!
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tarheel
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by tarheel »

Congratulations!

We have a 8-month old, and are down to one income. I agree that this is a great time to start to budget. We reduced cable to basic, got cheap cell phone plans, and eat out a lot less. Probably saves ~$200 a month. Try to find these inefficiencies that will stretch your paycheck out. It's actually pretty fun. :) :moneybag

Get life insurance. Look at the bright side, with the free child care you're getting you basically save a TON of money. You also know that your child will be getting taken care of. The peace of mind I get from knowing that my wife is taking care of my daughter is priceless.

A 12% savings rate (which I think you have) is still awesome. In the future, with raises etc., you can increase. No worries.
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Traveller
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Traveller »

Congratulations!

I'll echo much of what has already been said. My wife and I made the decision when we had our first child 16 years ago that she would stay home and we have never regretted it one bit. The drop in income was tough at first, but it just took some diligence and a good budget, and we got by. Also, there are some significant savings as well such as less fuel and vehicle costs, less eating out cost, no daycare expenses, etc due to her not working. You'll also find that dinners out, vacations, and other outings get toned down for a while with a baby at home which also reduces spending.

My biggest piece of advice would be to make extra effort to give your spouse time away from the baby. I always tried to take over baby duties when I got home from work and send her off to get a break from a true 24x7 job.

I've never heard any parent regret taking time to focus on raising kids. Great stuff :beer
Bud
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Bud »

Congratulations!!

We have been single income for 20 years. We always knew we planned to have kids so we just saved all of my wife's income when she was working. So when she stopped working, we were not depending on her income to cover expenses.

Our youngest is 7 so we still several more years although we are talking for the first time of my wife going back to work in the next year or two. This is because she works in the medical field and, if the opportunity appears, it can help with health insurance and health care costs.

All the best on your growing family.

(edited for clarity).
wander
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by wander »

If you need 2 incomes for mortgage then you may want to get rid of your house quickly.
HoosierJim
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by HoosierJim »

Unless the stay at home spouse has a good income or you have access to inexpensive quality child care, you should evaluate the idea of going back to work and paying for child care. I've seen families where that proposal, combined with the hassles of drop-off's, bad child care,guilt and missing some of the best years of the child's life was a near-break even but they still went back to work. I have also seen parents that have no skills or interest in taking care of their children and child care may avoid future juvenile delinquency.

Not saying not to do it but look at ALL the factors involved. One example where it really gets perverse is when you have ACA subsidies to consider.
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3CT_Paddler
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by 3CT_Paddler »

Our experience is that some things are worth sacrificing for. You may not feel it now, or even right at the birth... but my experience a couple years in is that there is no early retirement number that would make me regret our decision to have kids.
yosef
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by yosef »

My wife hasn't worked in 9 years. She quit to be a SAHM with our son in 2005, and then life happened and it took longer than we wanted to have our second child. She will likely return to work in a couple of years. Without knowing anything about your specific financial situation, I'd say you will be fine. Your budget will adjust. Agree with the other poster that said you should evaluate carefully whether your wife's income potential is sufficient to offset child care costs (or maybe she just wants to work). Our lives are hectic enough with her staying at home, I can't imagine how busy they would be with her working and us juggling daycare and after school care.
flyingbison
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by flyingbison »

We could easily live on one income if one of us made twice as much money. :|
HoosierJim
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by HoosierJim »

It sounds like from the original post that the major "sacrifice" is cutting contributions to retirement.

I wonder if retired bogleheads would trade one year of retirement in exchange for 1 year of spending time raising their child? I think I know the answer.
ubermax
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by ubermax »

First, Congratulations !! can relate, our daughter delivered twins in February , took maternity leave and is now back to work - they just bought a house near Boston and with hefty day care costs on top of a big mortgage they have also trimmed and/or eliminated pension contributions and other expense items until they go through a couple years of this "new" situation and see what their real and necessary expense are - they were a newly wed (2012) couple just renting before - big change for them !!

From your introductory post it sounds like your wife will be going back to work and so your current savings, etc. situation is temporary - you didn't comment on whether you already have a house and whether or not family will be your daycare providers .
Last edited by ubermax on Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Chan_va
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Chan_va »

Congrats! One income is definitely doable.

Remember that babies need very little "stuff". Get the minimum - car seat is pretty much the only "must have".
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by bungalow10 »

I can't recommend the software You Need a Budget enough. Using it enabled DH and I to go to one income (we have three kids, I work and DH stays home). Prior to that we were great savers (always saved first), but we didn't maximize the remaining money. After doing YNAB for about six months, we had enough data that we knew that we could go down to one income. We managed to keep our Roth IRA and 401k contributions steady through the transition. It's been difficult not having as much fun money, but we make it work. Using YNAB keeps me from stressing out and keeps us on track.
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SmileyFace
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by SmileyFace »

Congratulations!
We went down to a single Income 19 years ago with the birth of our first child and never went back. We have never once regretted the decision. I believe our family's quality of life has been much richer with the experience than the things we could have purchased over the years with the extra income. You just need to plan around the single income (yes - this means smaller house, less dinners out, less-expensive cars, etc. than your dual-income friends but at the end of the day - its a matter of the type of life you want to live - ours has been focused more around family and assuring one of us was always around to focus on the kids).

One thing we did was plan for this even before marriage - so were already to live on a single income before the first miraculous event occurred. But I don't believe it is ever too late and have never believed anyone who has claimed they can't afford to raise their family on a single income. Its fine if they choose not to - but I object to friends of mine (with bigger houses and more expensive cars than mine) that claim they couldn't afford to do so - they didn't want to afford to do so (or simply both needed a working career in addition to a family-raising career - nothing wrong with that - but I don't believe the claims it can't be afforded by everyone....).
Calm Man
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Calm Man »

Why are all you guys quitting work because of having a child and just having the wife work? I have found that like some of the posters in this thread, those I knew that went down to one income had to do things like reduce cable service, have less entertainment and struggled more financially than those families where both parents worked. Plus in the years after kids returned to school, the non-working-of-the-house spouse either never went back to work or unless something like a teacher or a nurse never attained what they otherwise could have professionally. I also found that the kids of dual working parents seemed to come out no different than those who were with the father (or mother) all day with some differences relating to independence. So guys, don't quite work because you have a child.....
BuckyBadger
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by BuckyBadger »

We are considering having a child, but I am not planning on quitting my job should it happen. Working outside the home isn't less worthy than living on one income and making sacrifices.

Every family should be allowed to make its own decisions and should not be criticized one way or the other.

We want to have a kid AND I want to continue my high-level career AND we want to retire early AND we want to have certain luxuries. This does not make me less worthy of children than someone who makes the choice to leave the workforce and budget to live on one income.

I think the moral judgments need to be left out of this thread.
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cheese_breath
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by cheese_breath »

BuckyBadger wrote: ... Every family should be allowed to make its own decisions and should not be criticized one way or the other....

... I think the moral judgments need to be left out of this thread.
+1
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Pizzasteve510
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Pizzasteve510 »

Since she will be home, consider food as a great opportunity. Home cooked meals and packed lunches can save thousands over the processed junk many are convinced to eat by packaging and ads. Oatmeal and eggs are shockingly cheap vs dry cereal and you will be amazed at how good home made soup is for your work lunch.

Good luck!
NoVa Lurker
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by NoVa Lurker »

Chan_va wrote:Congrats! One income is definitely doable.

Remember that babies need very little "stuff". Get the minimum - car seat is pretty much the only "must have".
+1.

We now have a 3.5 year old boy and a six-month-old boy. Between gifts, consignment sales, and Craigslist, there was virtually nothing we HAD to buy for the first year.

Now with boy #2, we barely spend any money on him. He's wearing boy #1's hand-me-downs, playing with #1's baby toys, sleeping in #1's old crib and pack-n-play, etc. It's great, since there were many outfits that boy #1 only wore once or twice. I know our kids WILL be expensive in the future, but in the first few years, the only big expense is just the foregone income if one parent stays home, or child care costs if they both work.

My wife took a year sabbatical from work for the first, and she's doing the same for the second. Basically, she got only a few weeks of paid leave, and she took the rest unpaid, but she has her job guaranteed as long as she returns in a year.

Her year at home with #1 was really tough on her. It is fair to say that she regretted not going back to work when boy #1 was about 3-4 months old, but after that, she was locked into the sabbatical and could not return until the end of the year. She was never the "mom" type, we do not live near any extended family, and it's a long day home alone with the baby.

(As many tell you, the days are long but the years go by quickly.)

I encouraged her NOT to take the sabbatical for boy #2, since she was miserable at times with boy #1, and she was much happier after she returned to work (and she was WAY more enthusiastic playing with our son during nights and weekends). However, she was convinced it would be different this time. So far, she has definitely been right -- this year at home with the two boys has been fantastic for her. She now has a great "mom network" of friends in similar situations, and boy #1 does preschool and a few activities and regular play dates, so my wife has tons of interaction every day. Boy #1 also LOVES helping with cooking, for some reason, so my wife actually cooks and bakes more now than she ever has in her life. That is great for the whole family.

Due to the child care costs with two kids (and because she's actually enjoying this year), she is now considering not returning to work when the sabbatical is over. She might just stay home with the kids for 2-3 years. We are also still undecided on whether to try for a third kid.

The money situation is okay. We used to be big savers; for any year where my wife doesn't work, we won't be. We hardly ever eat out, and we don't take elaborate vacations. These are not big sacrifices -- with the two boys, it's more pleasant to just be home, where our older son can get up and play if he finishes dinner in 15 minutes.... Eventually, we know my wife will go back to work, so we will make up a few things then.
bungalow10
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by bungalow10 »

Calm Man wrote:Why are all you guys quitting work because of having a child and just having the wife work?
I can only speak for my personal situation, but we decided to have DH quit when our youngest (of three) was 1 year old. The reasons were multiple, but the primary ones were...

1. Our daycare situation wasn't stable. We had a really good provider start to flake out on us. We then had three different providers in about four months for our baby, and were looking at a long-term solution where we had our kids in three different places (one in school, two in two different daycares).

2. I travel for work. Those weeks when I was gone were really hard on my DH and our kids. We no longer had the option of having the oldest stay with my in-laws for part of the week because he was in school.

3. DH's job was dangerous. He had a coworker die on the job and leave two little girls behind. The week this happened was the week we decided he would stay home.

4. The cost of daycare for two full time kids and one after-school was pretty hefty. DH's income put us over the limit for things like the child tax credit, which meant his income was essentially taxed at a higher rate than the tax tables suggested. Once we did the math (cost of commuting, work gear/tools, daycare, extra food for his physically demanding job, higher taxes), it figured out to be less than $1k a month in actual financial benefit + loss of pension contributions. To us, this wasn't worth it.

We are really, really fortunate that we had the option to have a parent stay home and for a time there it felt like we were in the perfect storm is daycare/work issues. Stepping back from the chaos was really good for our family and DH took advantage of what is likely a once-on-a-lifetime opportunity to spend a year and a half with his kids.

DH wants to go back to work next fall. We'll have two in school full time at that point, and our youngest will be 2 1/2. Nothing is set in stone, but this is our plan right now, pending finding good care for the youngest and work for DH.
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anonforthis
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by anonforthis »

I wonder what do stay at home parent do all day? You can't really teach or play with a kid/kids 8 hours a days 7 days a week right? Cooking? Cleaning? Running errands? Many people do that with a full time job and kid/kids.
bungalow10
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by bungalow10 »

anonforthis wrote:I wonder what do stay at home parent do all day? You can't really teach or play with a kid/kids 8 hours a days 7 days a week right? Cooking? Cleaning? Running errands? Many people do that with a full time job and kid/kids.
Does it really matter? If there's not significant economic benefit to having someone work outside the home, why not enjoy the luxuries of having someone home?

Honestly, we've done both and I can go either way... but it's been really, really nice having DH home. I no longer have to run to pick up a sick kid, he can run errands for us, grocery shop, fix things around the house, yard work. He gets a lot done, leaving the weekend for family hikes, road trips, etc.
An elephant for a dime is only a good deal if you need an elephant and have a dime.
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HomerJ
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by HomerJ »

HoosierJim wrote:Unless the stay at home spouse has a good income or you have access to inexpensive quality child care, you should evaluate the idea of going back to work and paying for child care. I've seen families where that proposal, combined with the hassles of drop-off's, bad child care,guilt and missing some of the best years of the child's life was a near-break even but they still went back to work. I have also seen parents that have no skills or interest in taking care of their children and child care may avoid future juvenile delinquency.
Of course, there's the third option where the parents do have skills and interest in taking care of their children and still send their kids to day-care where professionals who have years of experience of caring for children take great care of the kids, and everyone wins...

(And I'm not sure you can characterize sending kids to day-care equal to "missing the best years of their life".. Does the one working spouse completely miss experiencing his or her kids lives from ages 0-18? Do both spouses completely miss experiencing their kids lives when they go to school from 6-18?)
ubermax
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by ubermax »

BuckyBadger wrote:We are considering having a child, but I am not planning on quitting my job should it happen. Working outside the home isn't less worthy than living on one income and making sacrifices.

Every family should be allowed to make its own decisions and should not be criticized one way or the other.

We want to have a kid AND I want to continue my high-level career AND we want to retire early AND we want to have certain luxuries. This does not make me less worthy of children than someone who makes the choice to leave the workforce and budget to live on one income.

I think the moral judgments need to be left out of this thread.
+ 2 very well said !! and I agree - the OP initially said that his wife was planning on going back to work - that was a given - but judging by some of the responses it seems like this post is an opportunity for those, who elected to keep only one in the workforce, to justify or speak to how great their decision was - or maybe those folks are speed/skim readers and missed the part about back to work and daycare.

My wife had a career and wanted to continue it - she was a great mother to our children but felt she couldn't stay home full time - our daughter also has a great career and is of the same mindset.
nelson1015
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by nelson1015 »

My sister is a Stay at Home Mom with 3 kids. At one point when I was younger and she had 1 or 2 kids I said in jest " What do you do all day? Do you sit on the couch, watch soap operas and eat bon bons?". Well after my son was born I took 3 months off of work while in-between jobs. This is when he was 4-7 months old. I gotta tell you as a man this was rough. I was taking care of the baby basically 12 hours a day from 6am to 6pm. My son would sleep but maybe 2-3 hours out of the 12. There were days where he would fuss and cry for almost the entire day. I would do all the shopping, try to clean and cook some meals. However, I gotta be honest I wasn't suzie homemaker. It was hard enough just taking care of him. At that age when he was awake I was holding him or next to him the entire time.

What do you do while the baby naps? Take a shower, do dishes, laundry etc. I couldn't really clean much while he was awake because he would cry if I left him alone. So I would try to do those things while he slept.

Anyway, although difficult I would never take those 3 months away that I had with him. I believe they made me a better husband, father and man. I love my son immensely. However, I have a new found respect for stay at home mothers and fathers. I would say working is WAY easier than staying home.
Naismith
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Naismith »

anonforthis wrote:I wonder what do stay at home parent do all day? You can't really teach or play with a kid/kids 8 hours a days 7 days a week right? Cooking? Cleaning? Running errands? Many people do that with a full time job and kid/kids.
I appreciate the subject line that the OP chose, since it described the situation accurately as "one income" rather than the common but inaccurate "not working." There are only 24 hours in everyone's day and I never worked harder than when I was at home with children fulltime.

In addition to taking care of the kids, I was a homemaker. I spent a lot more time on food production and storage than I have the ability to do now with fulltime employment. I gardened and canned--I have sweet memories of an 18-month old who stood on a chair while we canned tomatoes, and she helped by taking a bite out of many of them for quality control:) Of course by the afternoon she was covered with juice, but I canned 49 pints, enough to last the year.

I buy a whole pork loin for $1.99 a pound and slice it into chops, a roast, stir-fry meat, maybe pork carnitas. Our own convenience foods from our freezer at a fraction of the cost of eating out or commercial fast food. Our food overall is lower cost and higher quality. Things like sodium level or sourdough bread (lower glycemic index) may not matter to some, but to those with diabetes or high blood pressure, it makes a huge difference.

I also had more time to get quotes on our homeowners insurance (saved $100s by changing), track our medical expenses better (found $100s in errors every year), arrange for a mortgage refi, and so on. I sewed what clothing made sense financially: I made the toddler's training pants out of my husband's old t-shirts, sewed all the kids play costumes and fancy dresses for school dances, made all the curtains in the house, and still make all my skirts (bike commuter, so I need split skirts).

That kind of thing adds up fast. After all, it is not how much you make, but how much you keep, right? One of the books we read when we were deciding whether I should be at home fulltime was "Two Incomes and Still Broke?" by Linda Kelley that crunches the numbers and shows how a second income does not always mean more money.

There are various studies suggesting that a parent of young children is more successful in the workplace when their partner is home fulltime. Previous posters have covered the main reasons, including fewer days off due to sick children, ability to focus, and the ability to travel. A lot of spouses also play an active role in the wage-earner's career: My sister's husband was a corporate VP in part because of her graciousness as a hostess and flexibility to travel with clients to the company hunting lodge in Wisconsin or beachside condo in Florida. In my husband's career, a pivotal point was when we moved to South America for half a year, and while there I used my professional credentials to teach a graduate seminar at the local university on preparing scientific manuscripts in English, as a way to thank them for supporting my husband's research.

I always had plans for workforce re-entry and did volunteer work in the community so that I would have references, and I was able to successfully return to a good career--which is probably a topic for another thread. There are different seasons to our lives. But certainly for many, being at home with children for a few years can make sense in terms of both dollars and sanity. There is not one choice that is better, only the best choice for your own family during a particular phase of its evolution.
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HomerJ
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by HomerJ »

bungalow10 wrote:Honestly, we've done both and I can go either way... but it's been really, really nice having DH home. I no longer have to run to pick up a sick kid, he can run errands for us, grocery shop, fix things around the house, yard work. He gets a lot done, leaving the weekend for family hikes, road trips, etc.
Yeah, my wife and I have done it both ways as well...

She worked when her first kid was born, but when the second came along, she stayed home with both for a couple of years... Then her husband cheated on her, she got divorced, and became a working single mom. For two years, she had one income AND day-care.

Then she met me, we got married, surprise pregnancy about 5 years later, but she went back to work after he was born (At that point, her or me quitting might have been unfair to the older kids... it wouldn't have just been cutting back cable, it would have been no car for the oldest, no volleyball camp for the middle kid, no vacations to Washington D.C. or Mexico...), and besides my wife's career was just taking off, and she really enjoyed her work... So we found a rock-solid day-care and our kid thrived there.

11 years later, my wife was hating her job, the older girls had graduated college (with no debt, because we had two incomes), and we had "enough", so she "retired"... For the last year, she's been a stay-at-home Mom again, and there are real advantages like bungalow points out above.

Weekends for me are no longer about doing laundry and cleaning the house and catching up on grocery shopping... Instead we all get to have fun as a family, since my wife takes care of all that stuff during the week.

So we've done all kinds of different ways with our 3 different kids... Staying home when they are babies, staying home when they are 5-6, sending them to day-care and after-school care until 10... All seem to work. The kids are fine.
Last edited by HomerJ on Tue Oct 07, 2014 12:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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HomerJ
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by HomerJ »

Naismith wrote:There is not one choice that is better, only the best choice for your own family during a particular phase of its evolution.
Great post. We went through many different stages too.
surfstar
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by surfstar »

Calm Man wrote:So guys, don't quite work because you have a child.....
I don't have any kids, but want to quit working!
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dbCooperAir
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by dbCooperAir »

We did it, and would do it again.

After you get done going thru all the numbers and worries think what is the worse that can happen? For us it was simple, if it does not work out one just needs to go back to work. As many have said, just adjust your life style and you will be fine.

Being a single income family and not making a ton of cash, much less than most on this board, we were able to save a little and was able to pay off our home when the kids were in the single digits. We gave up a new car every 5 years, new Mc Mansion upgrades like our peers, etc. College will not be fully funded but I think we came out way ahead of the game in many other ways.

As the kids got older and in full time school we became a dual income family again with one family member working the same school hours, summers off etc.

Retirement is on track for now (thanks to this board), life is good on this side of the pond.

Enjoy these years, they are the best.
Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down on the tracks of history to wait for the train of the future to run over him. | -Dwight D. Eisenhower-
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VictoriaF
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by VictoriaF »

surfstar wrote:
Calm Man wrote:So guys, don't quite work because you have a child.....
I don't have any kids, but want to quit working!
You want to stop working for the right reasons {smiling}.

Calm Man makes a good point that the longterm satisfaction of parents and the financial well-being of families are tied to gainful employment. People tend to justify staying at home by taxes, the cost of housekeeping and babysitting, and perceived needs of the child. But on the long run, this decision can backfire when it's too late to do something about it.

Victoria
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vv19
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by vv19 »

surfstar wrote:
Calm Man wrote:So guys, don't quite work because you have a child.....
I don't have any kids, but want to quit working!
You are not alone, my friend. :D
PittPharmboy
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by PittPharmboy »

We have been a single income family since we were both 25 (32 now) and have 3 kids (6,4, and 2). Not only is it possible, it is easily attainable if you are realistic with your budget.

There are multiple social positives as summarized by previous posters, but our biggest gain will be in 3+ years when our youngest goes to school. Now that we're used to the one income lifestyle, anything my wife pulls in when she gets back into the workforce will be gravy. We can use that money to further fund retirement, take more elaborate vacations, buy an RV to create more tight knit family memories, etc. Obviously, the Boglehead answer will be to save, save, save and I obviously agree with that or I wouldn't be on this message board. But once you have a family, there has to be some luxury to make life enjoyable for every member of the family.

Best of luck to you. With your already documented financial discipline I doubt this will even be seen as a struggle within 2-3 months of starting your new journey.

-W
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by flyingbison »

PittPharmboy wrote:We have been a single income family since we were both 25 (32 now) and have 3 kids (6,4, and 2). Not only is it possible, it is easily attainable if you are realistic with your budget.
I'll go out on a limb and guess that you make more than $40K.
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Naismith »

Is there a chance that perhaps we could please avoid referring to full-time parents as "not-working"? It isn't accurate (many work very hard!) and has negative connotations when people try to return to the workforce, seek medical care, or just have their work respected by those around them.

There are so many accurate terms that could be used: Not in the workforce...not earning a paycheck...not employed....
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by PittPharmboy »

flyingbison wrote:I'll go out on a limb and guess that you make more than $40K.
Now, yes. When we had our first child, nope.

It's obviously easier now due to increased salary but we proved we could do it on less than your salary cutoff and I have faith we could have continued doing it if necessary with careful planning and budgeting.

-W
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by nelson1015 »

Naismith wrote:Is there a chance that perhaps we could please avoid referring to full-time parents as "not-working"? It isn't accurate (many work very hard!) and has negative connotations when people try to return to the workforce, seek medical care, or just have their work respected by those around them.

There are so many accurate terms that could be used: Not in the workforce...not earning a paycheck...not employed....
I don't think the phrase "not-working" should get anyone up in arms. I am aware that we live in an ultra sensitive PC society, but c'mon. Those two words aren't offensive by themselves. I know what they can imply but that is really reaching.
-------
To the previous poster - I doubt anyone has a lot of breathing room if they have a single income of 40k with a family. That is pretty much a given.
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by PittPharmboy »

nelson1015 wrote:I doubt anyone has a lot of breathing room if they have a single income of 40k with a family. That is pretty much a given.
I would never suggest otherwise. However, it can be done and is not impossible. I'm not sure why the 40k cutoff was used but wanted to offer that in my experience, while not ideal, it can be done. Just trying to put a positive spin on a message board where the vast majority make significantly more than that!

Nelson, I also agree with the PC comment from your post above. While I'm sure I have referred to my wife as "not working" on multiple occasions to multiple parties, it has never been spoken in a derogatory tone and I could NEVER do what she's doing and admire her work ethic on a daily basis. I think we're all a little sensitive when the decision we make is spoken of in a light we don't 100% agree with. This decision should be individualized by each family and really shouldn't be second-guessed by outside parties. Just my $0.02.

-W
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by VictoriaF »

nelson1015 wrote:
Naismith wrote:Is there a chance that perhaps we could please avoid referring to full-time parents as "not-working"? It isn't accurate (many work very hard!) and has negative connotations when people try to return to the workforce, seek medical care, or just have their work respected by those around them.

There are so many accurate terms that could be used: Not in the workforce...not earning a paycheck...not employed....
I don't think the phrase "not-working" should get anyone up in arms. I am aware that we live in an ultra sensitive PC society, but c'mon. Those two words aren't offensive by themselves. I know what they can imply but that is really reaching.
How about Household Executive (HE) and Senior Household Executive (SHE)?

Victoria
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nelson1015
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by nelson1015 »

PittPharmboy wrote:
nelson1015 wrote:I doubt anyone has a lot of breathing room if they have a single income of 40k with a family. That is pretty much a given.
I would never suggest otherwise. However, it can be done and is not impossible. I'm not sure why the 40k cutoff was used but wanted to offer that in my experience, while not ideal, it can be done. Just trying to put a positive spin on a message board where the vast majority make significantly more than that!

Nelson, I also agree with the PC comment from your post above. While I'm sure I have referred to my wife as "not working" on multiple occasions to multiple parties, it has never been spoken in a derogatory tone and I could NEVER do what she's doing and admire her work ethic on a daily basis. I think we're all a little sensitive when the decision we make is spoken of in a light we don't 100% agree with. This decision should be individualized by each family and really shouldn't be second-guessed by outside parties. Just my $0.02.

-W
I'm not sure why 40k is the cutoff either. However, 40k would be tight. I don't think I could do it, just being honest. If you think about it 40k isn't much anymore when considering inflation. Even if someone made it off that amount with a family 10 years ago, you have to adjust for inflation for today. The value of 40k is declining each and every year.
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by nelson1015 »

VictoriaF wrote:
nelson1015 wrote:
Naismith wrote:Is there a chance that perhaps we could please avoid referring to full-time parents as "not-working"? It isn't accurate (many work very hard!) and has negative connotations when people try to return to the workforce, seek medical care, or just have their work respected by those around them.

There are so many accurate terms that could be used: Not in the workforce...not earning a paycheck...not employed....
I don't think the phrase "not-working" should get anyone up in arms. I am aware that we live in an ultra sensitive PC society, but c'mon. Those two words aren't offensive by themselves. I know what they can imply but that is really reaching.
How about Household Executive (HE) and Senior Household Executive (SHE)?

Victoria
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Afty
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Re: Wife Expecting, Down to One Income Source

Post by Afty »

anonforthis wrote:I wonder what do stay at home parent do all day? You can't really teach or play with a kid/kids 8 hours a days 7 days a week right? Cooking? Cleaning? Running errands? Many people do that with a full time job and kid/kids.
I take it you don't have a small child. At least with a baby, yes, you are spending literally 16 hours a day, 7 days a week taking care of the baby. They need constant supervision while they're awake, and they sleep in short bursts that are just long enough for you to go to the bathroom, maybe start eating a meal--- "waaaaaaaah"! There's no down time, and it's exhausting. Oh yeah, you don't get to sleep at night either because they wake every 2-3 hours to feed.

As a father of 2 small kids with a wife who works 80% time, this article is much more accurate IMO:
http://www.babble.com/relationships/bei ... ur-spouse/
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