Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

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countofmc
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Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by countofmc »

I am trying to wrap my head around exactly how much raising a child costs these days. I'd appreciate info on how much you spend roughly every month on your children. I'm interested in direct costs (diapers, clothes, etc) and also indirect costs (the choice to buy a larger car or move to a larger residence).

Most importantly, I'd like to keep this thread focused. I'm only interested in the experiences of those that are 35 or under (my age cohort) and with children that are 5 or under. The realities of raising a child seem to change almost annually these days, so I am not too interested in hearing from those whose children are in college or the like. I'd also appreciate if you refrain from the "it's still worth it" or "kids these days are so spoiled" or whatever similar comments these threads seem to lead to. Please lets just stick to straight financials.

Thanks!
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by livesoft »

Recent thread this month:
http://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtop ... &p=2197131

You might summarize here what that thread had that was useful to you. For instance, I gave actual dollar amounts for a top-rated day care for children under 5.
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randomguy
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by randomguy »

About 4k/month for a 5 year old. Our situation is probably not yours (i.e. 5 year old need 4x/week of OT/Speech and the like, moderately high cost of living area, no childcare) and I am not adding in housing. The kids probably gained me about 2k/month (house appreciation versus the low cost of borrowing) but I would hate to try and project that out.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by countofmc »

livesoft wrote:Recent thread this month:
http://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtop ... &p=2197131

You might summarize here what that thread had that was useful to you. For instance, I gave actual dollar amounts for a top-rated day care for children under 5.
Thanks. I am absolutely floored by the cost of day care.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by livesoft »

You know that non-wealthy people don't pay all that much for day care. They cannot afford it, so they find the less expensive solutions. Also note that the tax code helps in this regard with the child tax credit and the dependent-care credit and/or flexible spending accounts.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by dolphinsaremammals »

livesoft wrote:You know that non-wealthy people don't pay all that much for day care. They cannot afford it, so they find the less expensive solutions. Also note that the tax code helps in this regard with the child tax credit and the dependent-care credit and/or flexible spending accounts.
+1 I'm sure a frugal parent would be paying a lot less than $4K a month. Baby sitting arrangements for less, perfectly good handmedown clothes from the family or thrift shops, and so on. Does having a kid increase the cost of employer medical insurance if the spouse is already on that plan?
Luv2savmoney
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by Luv2savmoney »

We pay 300$ per month for preschool & associated costs
300$ per month for 529
May be 150$ more for others - clothing.

So may be 750$
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Tyrobi
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by Tyrobi »

Both my wife and I are 35 and under. We have a 5-year-old child and one more is coming. So we fit in your description. Here's our situation.

We spend less than $1000 monthly for all child-related costs. In term of financial, we would be at least 6% richer every year if we don't have any kid.

My wife is SAHM so child care cost is zero (the neighbor also pay her to babysit their kids every now and then). She is an excellent cooker so most of the food is homemade with grocery shopping at Aldi, Walmart, Sam's Club and local ethnic markets. For kid clothes, we always buy them while on sale/clearance.

As for indirect cost, we did not and will not upgrade our vehicles due to having children. Beside my work truck, our family vehicle will still be the Camry even when we have 2 kids.

As for our lakeside house, it's bigger than what we would be comfortably living in. We bought it out of foreclosure near the market bottom, and it'll be paid off completely by early next year. So maybe in the long run, we will spend more on utility bills and property tax than we would if we don't have any kids.

Lastly, I have not factored in the college fund for the kids for the monthly cost. We are planning to put in the lump sum payment for two 4-Year Prepaid University Plan for the two kids (~$28k per kid if the payment is made this year).

Anyway, the costs of children vary for each family. In our case, we sacrifice 6% of our annual income for the kids.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by Minot »

Tyrobi wrote:
Anyway, the costs of children vary for each family. In our case, we sacrifice 6% of our annual income for the kids.
I assume this does not include the current loss of income for your SAHM wife, nor the possible (probable?) reduction in her future earning power due to time out of the market.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by PittPharmboy »

I'll echo what others have said in that there are SO MANY variables that factor into this, that it's really hard to project what I'm doing with my family onto another. Having said that:

1) My wife stays at home with our kids (6, 4, and 2). We are 32 & 31.......
2) We don't put any money into 529's at the moment per Boglehead member suggestions.
3) Our 6 year old is in 1st grade and our child in Pre-K at the local public school system. This costs us nothing directly but quite a bit indirectly. We moved 2.5 years ago because of the ability to be in a place with a great public school system. This led to $4000+ in moving costs and buying a house that was close to being out of our financial comfort zone due to it being the only reasonable place to live. Renting in our town is actually significantly more expensive than owning a home even with the increased cost of houses in the area. Having said that, our COL here is significantly less than many other places in the country, so I'm not complaining.
4) Food-wise, we're relatively frugal and don't eat out too often, but I would guess that our cost per month for the boys alone would be roughly $300-400. This is rising insanely quickly as they are getting older. When they're teenagers, I would expect to be spending $1000+ on food for them. Boys are ALWAYS hungry....
5)We bought bigger vehicles due to our growing family so she drives a Honda Odyssey and I bought a Crew Cab SIlverado so that the whole family can fit in either vehicle. This is obviously another indirect cost.
6) Other costs such as toys, clothing, diapers, etc. are totally dependent on what you're comfortable with. We have mostly hand-me-downs because it doesn't bother us. We do a ton of outlet shopping for clothing for the boys. We could've saved money by doing cloth diapers but that is something we just couldn't do so we'd gladly trade eating out once a week for disposable diapers. In all, we honestly don't spend much here, but I understand others may have issues with this style. We clearly don't.
7) Health insurance is more expensive for a "Family" plan. We spend about $270/month on premiums for a HDHP with an HSA. I know many here won't agree with it, but we actually use our HSA for our healthcare costs. We put $4000/year in and have used between $2500-$3000/year. Current accumulation is roughly $3000 so I'm hoping this will continue to grow over the years, but we're not shy to use this for our healthcare costs.

Summary, kids are expensive both directly and indirectly. We were planning on having a larger family but have decided that financially, this is where we need to stop.

Hope this helps in some way!

-W
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

What does one's age have to do with the costs of a child 5 and under? Do you really believe costs go up or down as an adult ages? :oops: No one gets a break on costs regardless of their age.

Now onto the real meat and potatoes, how much it costs:

It costs 24 hours, 60 minutes and 60 seconds of your time from the time of birth until well....really it never ends, every single second you'll be thinking of them instead of you - how do you put a price tag on that?

How much was diapers? Last receipt showed a box cost $19.99 though you could get a box on sale for $16.99 if you looked hard enough. How long does a box last? Well, in the beginning not very long at all when you're changing them 6 times a day or more, even though their were 128 diapers in the box, by the time you make it to age 4 you'll be at size 5-6 and the boxes only hold 36-48 diapers but the frequency of purchasing will be down to about 1 every week and a half or so. Of course, then comes potty training time, so the diapers cost will go out the window only to be replaced by slightly higher food costs.

Daycare - could be as cheap as $800 a month or $1,800 a month depending on locale, by me it was $1,800 a month for the first 18 months before it stepped down to about $1,500 a month and then comes pre-school.
Pre school is costing about $400 a month, 5 days a week for half day, full days cost $800 month.
529 plan - that could be zero or it could be as much as front-loading it with $140K in one shot - your call.

Of course, these numbers could be absolutely meaningless as everyone's experience is different. YMMV.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by forkhorn »

1 child, one year old. If your child is normal and healthy, by far your biggest direct expense is childcare, whether lost income for a stay at home parent (assuming you make a decent salary) or paying for a nanny or daycare. Our part time, 3 day/week nanny is about $1250/month. Other than that, maybe 100-200/month for food/diapers/clothes/toys (this will begin 2-3 months *before* the baby is born as you get a crib or decorate the nursury, etc), but it all pales in comparison to daycare. Also, pre-child, neither of our vehicles was carseat-friendly, so we bought a new minivan which was a $36k expense. However, since our other cars were 14 and 18 years old, that expense probably would have come up anyway, just a few years later, and maybe a little less vehicle. Healthcare also cost us the high deductible ($3k I think) plus about $1k for the birth, but hopefully no health issues going forward (none yet).

We are expecting our second child next year, and the additional incremental costs should be far lower.

Also, I'm not *quite* under 35, but I also don't know what difference that makes.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by Quickfoot »

First many will say their daycare expenses are low or zero due to a spouse not working, this actually is the single most expensive daycare you can purchase because you give up your spouse's entire earning potential and your spouse incurs an employment gap. If your spouse is capable of earning 30K per year then you are paying 30K per year for childcare. In the case where the spouse can earn 30K per year and daycare is available for $650 a month the parent staying at home costs roughly $22,200 more than paying for daycare. Costco and Hobby Lobby both pay their employees > 35K a year so 30K is pretty conservative for earning potential.

We are 33/34, cost for 5 year old:

$650 daycare
$150 food
$100 insurance
$250 bedroom (need larger house due to child)

$1150 / month or $13,800 per year without extras
tax savings work out to $4500 per year so total next is 9,300 per year or $775 per month.

Basically one 5 year old costs about the same as nearly maxing a 401k and that doesn't include extracurricular activities or saving for college.
555
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by 555 »

Grt2bOutdoors wrote:What does one's age have to do with the costs of a child 5 and under? Do you really believe costs go up or down as an adult ages? :oops: No one gets a break on costs regardless of their age.
Yes, OP. Please explain this.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by countofmc »

I'm 32. I wanted to hear the experiences of those around my age who have had children fairly recently. I wanted to narrow the responses because for general childcare cost info, there's plenty of threads.

I also frankly was not interested in hearing about how much it cost 10-15 years ago to raise a child. Although I specified 5 years or younger, I added another qualification just in case someone that's 55 wanted to share how much raising a 5 year old cost 20 years ago.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by 555 »

countofmc wrote:I'm 32. I wanted to hear the experiences of those around my age who have had children fairly recently. I wanted to narrow the responses because for general childcare cost info, there's plenty of threads.

I also frankly was not interested in hearing about how much it cost 10-15 years ago to raise a child. Although I specified 5 years or younger, I added another qualification just in case someone that's 55 wanted to share how much raising a 5 year old cost 20 years ago.
That doesn't make any sense. Now you're not going to get answers from people 35 or over with a child 5 under.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by countofmc »

Quickfoot wrote:First many will say their daycare expenses are low or zero due to a spouse not working, this actually is the single most expensive daycare you can purchase because you give up your spouse's entire earning potential and your spouse incurs an employment gap. If your spouse is capable of earning 30K per year then you are paying 30K per year for childcare. In the case where the spouse can earn 30K per year and daycare is available for $650 a month the parent staying at home costs roughly $22,200 more than paying for daycare. Costco and Hobby Lobby both pay their employees > 35K a year so 30K is pretty conservative for earning potential.

We are 33/34, cost for 5 year old:

$650 daycare
$150 food
$100 insurance
$250 bedroom (need larger house due to child)

$1150 / month or $13,800 per year without extras
tax savings work out to $4500 per year so total next is 9,300 per year or $775 per month.

Basically one 5 year old costs about the same as nearly maxing a 401k and that doesn't include extracurricular activities or saving for college.
Helpful, thanks. May I ask what part of the country you live in?
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by 555 »

Anyway, in our situation ... oh wait! Nevermind. :oops:
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countofmc
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by countofmc »

555 wrote:
countofmc wrote:I'm 32. I wanted to hear the experiences of those around my age who have had children fairly recently. I wanted to narrow the responses because for general childcare cost info, there's plenty of threads.

I also frankly was not interested in hearing about how much it cost 10-15 years ago to raise a child. Although I specified 5 years or younger, I added another qualification just in case someone that's 55 wanted to share how much raising a 5 year old cost 20 years ago.
That doesn't make any sense. Now you're not going to get answers from people 35 or over with a child 5 under.
Cause I don't want to hear from those 35 or over, even if they have a young kid. I thought the title and OP made this clear? It's not just about the absolute costs, I'm also interested in the kind of things those in my age cohort are spending on for their kids.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by livesoft »

When our 2nd child was born, we did not change our house, nor our cars, nor car seats, nor our jobs. At the time our older child entered all-day kindergarten, so daycare expenses remained the same. We had a crib and all the other baby stuff already.

Does that mean the 2nd child was profitable because we got a 2nd child tax credit and an additional exemption, but no added costs? :twisted: Or do we now divide the earlier expenses of getting set up in half? Or do we apply some of the new tax savings to earlier years of the first child as well?
Last edited by livesoft on Sun Sep 28, 2014 10:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by anonforthis »

I'm under 35. My kids are 1.5 and 3 year of age. We spend $1250 a month for 2 including daycare, diapers, wipes and food. When they were babies, we spent 2k a month.
555
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by 555 »

Extra housing $0
Extra vehicle $0
Child care $0
Tuition $0
Other costs: not much.
Other costs after tax benefits: about $0
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by frugalfraggle »

Several people have said that having a stay at home mom is the most expensive choice. However, people should keep in mind the quality of care your child will get with mom versus day care. A child with a thriving spirit from being raised at home is hard to put a price tag on, not to mention the mom will actually get to raise her child. Day care is for some, but STAH mom is an exceptional choice for others, regardless of "cost".
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by livesoft »

Many daycares will give higher quality and more enriching care than a stay at home parent would. Gone are the days when kids were locked in crates like at a dog kennel, but I know some parents still try to do this at home.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by countofmc »

livesoft wrote:Many daycares will give higher quality and more enriching care than a stay at home parent would.
I am afraid this is going to touch off a storm so I am going to exit my own thread, but thanks to all who shared their experiences, it was very helpful!
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by Afty »

By far the largest cost is daycare. The other costs people talk about (diapers, food, clothes, toys, etc.) are insignificant in comparison.

Here in the Bay Area, full-time daycare for a baby costs ~$1.6-2.2k a month, decreasing a bit as they get older and the centers are allowed to have fewer caregivers per child. Family daycares may be a bit cheaper, but I don't have experience with them. Going rate for a nanny for one child is $18-20/hr, which works out to $3.5-4k/mo.

FWIW, I'm 35 with a 10-month-old and a 4 year old. Wife and I both work full time.
Last edited by Afty on Sun Sep 28, 2014 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by mlipps »

Someday there will be a thread like this and no one will accuse those who choose to put their kids in daycare of not raising their own children. That will be a measure of progress in my opinion. There are other ways to express that sentiment without casting judgments on others choices.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by 555 »

countofmc wrote:
livesoft wrote:Many daycares will give higher quality and more enriching care than a stay at home parent would.
I am afraid this is going to touch off a storm so I am going to exit my own thread, but thanks to all who shared their experiences, it was very helpful!
Bye-bye. We'll keep it warm for you.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by 555 »

frugalfraggle wrote:Several people have said that having a stay at home mom is the most expensive choice. However, people should keep in mind the quality of care your child will get with mom versus day care. A child with a thriving spirit from being raised at home is hard to put a price tag on, not to mention the mom will actually get to raise her child. Day care is for some, but STAH mom is an exceptional choice for others, regardless of "cost".
You only get to live once. For some, spending time with your children is the most important thing.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by ksyung71 »

Well, we are just 2 years over the parent age cut off, but do have a 5 and a 4 year old, so hopefully the info is still relevant.

Some of the costs are going to be very location dependent. We live in HCOL area (Orange County, CA)

5 day a week, full day preschool and kindergarten runs $1200 to $1500 a month per kid

before the kids were old enough for preschool, we had a nanny, that was $2000 a month, (post tax and strictly cash--please no flames! the nanny preferred it this way). We figured, since it costs the same (or more) for daycare for two, might as well have the convenience of having someone come to your house and who is willing to cook a simple dinner for you in the evenings.

529 accounts--$500 a month per kid. Obviously, this is going to vary a lot on an individual family basis

kids activities, which really only started up in the past year or so are surprisingly expensive. For example piano lessons, $160 a month per kid, foreign language school (our family's heritage language, which we hope the children will be bilingual in) $180 per month), swimming lessons, $160 a month. we don't do as many activities as many other families we know.

and the cost of going from a 1 BR for a married couple to a 3 bedroom place, were we live (rent of probably $1600 for a 1 BR to about $3000 for a 3 BR condo). Don't even get me started about the cost of buying. We rent.
clothing, it probably averages out to $75 a month including shoes and school uniforms. We have a boy and girl, so can't really take advantage of the hand me downs (though we did when the younger (a girl) was a baby and couldn't tell the difference). We try to get stuff at garage sales, consignment shops, etc, as our first stop, and then fill in the gaps during the big back to school and post christmas sales at target, old navy, twice a year, and also always shop discounters like Ross, TJ Maxx, etc.

I don't remember too much about the cost of formula, diapers.
making your own baby food is both very economical and healthful. exclusively breastfeeding when the babies are young also has the side benefit of being economical (and healthful)
now that they kids are in preschool, the total grocery bill is about $600 a month for the 4 of us, probably $150 more than we would otherwise spend if it was just the two of us. They don't eat much...yet. On the bright side, you most likely will not have the time or energy to go out/eat out when you have young kids, so the budget for restaurants, entertainment, etc, will likely go down.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by market timer »

In Thailand, it is rather cheap. We have a one-year-old and hired a full-time (6.5 days/week) live-in nanny for about $500/month. She prepares most of his meals out of fresh fruit, rice, fish, and vegetables. A recent trip to the pediatrician at a top private hospital cost $50, including the medicine. Once our son turns three, there is a free nursery within walking distance. A big question for us is whether to send our son to an international school for $10-20K/year, one of the public schools in Bangkok, or home school.

I'm not terribly concerned about saving for college. We put away $50K into EE bonds before he was born that will mature into $100K tax-free in his 16th through 20th years. Given that we will be retired well before our son enters college (good for financial aid purposes) and the significant deflation online classes should bring to higher education, I actually think $100K in year-2030 dollars is a reasonable amount to have saved.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by macchiato »

countofmc wrote:
555 wrote:
countofmc wrote:I'm 32. I wanted to hear the experiences of those around my age who have had children fairly recently. I wanted to narrow the responses because for general childcare cost info, there's plenty of threads.

I also frankly was not interested in hearing about how much it cost 10-15 years ago to raise a child. Although I specified 5 years or younger, I added another qualification just in case someone that's 55 wanted to share how much raising a 5 year old cost 20 years ago.
That doesn't make any sense. Now you're not going to get answers from people 35 or over with a child 5 under.
Cause I don't want to hear from those 35 or over, even if they have a young kid. I thought the title and OP made this clear? It's not just about the absolute costs, I'm also interested in the kind of things those in my age cohort are spending on for their kids.
Being cordial on the Internet, even when you're anonymous, is not just about throwing around arbitrary ageist absolutes. You could just be cordial and filter out the stuff that doesn't matter to you, which you are partially capable of given you apparently "left the thread."

Anyway, your "age cohorts" are giving me hand me downs, and I'm above your age limit and have a kid slightly younger than them, so I'd like to think that I could have added something useful.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by mw1739 »

We have a 2 year old and are expecting our second in November. Rough costs off the top of my head:

- nanny: $1500-$2000/mo
- food: $150-$200/mo
- Diapers: $40
- Clothes can cost as much or as little as you're willing to spend. In my opinion there's nothing wrong with hand me downs and garage sale clothes when they're just going to grow out of them in a month or two anyway.

Our health insurance cost is the same if we have 0 kids or 20 kids, so no difference there. Well child visits are free, we actually just paid our first co-pay ever on him a few weeks ago for an ear infection.

With baby #1 my wife was unable to breastfeed so we had to buy formula for ~ $150/mo.

Indirect costs have been modest. We already had adequate vehicles. We did take advantage of the real estate market downturn and moved into a better school district, but it's in an area we would likely live in whether we had kids or not.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by 555 »

For health insurance, our experience is probably typical of employer plans.
Adding kids (regardless of number) is about an extra $100/month (total, not per kid),
but adding spouse is about an extra $300/month (i.e. no employer contribution for spouse).
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by homermtb »

6 month old, HCOL area. $2000/month for childcare, another $200 for miscellaneous expenses. Wife and I both work full time, with some bizarre hours, so flexible childcare is a huge deal for us.
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by stoptothink »

33 and 28, have a 2.5yr old and one on the way (due early next spring). Very fortunate that very highly regarded childcare is available to me free as a work benefit, usual cost is $750/month which is actually on the expensive side in our area. Other costs are so variable. We have a clothing/toy exchange within our families (14 kids under 4 between both our families) and church, so in the last year we may have spent $100 on clothing and toys. We also received a crib, stroller, and several other necessities free. Absolutely no reason to get a larger home or car, even with a 2nd child on the way; they are going to share a room (when the baby gets out of ours) and it may be a bit of a hassle with the car seats but two fit perfectly fine in our 2-door car.

My wife has already accepted a new job (starts in a few weeks) solely because it offers a lot more flexibility, which will make life easier when the 2nd one comes, but her income should actually be quite similar to what it is now.

A very rough estimate, including adding my daughter to insurance and her trip to the ER when she needed eight stitches in her face: she cost us ~$3500 last year. Expecting the 2nd one to cost about the same. It doesn't have to be that expensive.
nukewerker
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by nukewerker »

I'm responding to this question because if you are asking, then chances are you want to "plan" your having kids. I realize many on this site like to plan things, that's why we are here. However, you just can't plan how, when and how many kids you can have. Its like trying to time the markets...a pointless exercise. I think the best planning you can hope for is to be a couple living below your means you must have health insurance. Beyond that-its Vegas. I'll outline our situation below as an example.

We had our first son 2 years ago. Couldn't ask for a better experience. Everything was by the book. Minimal costs due to good health insurance, my wife breastfed him for 18 months, etc. I would guess his actual cost to us was less than $500/month if you include all the new baby hardware and health insurance.

This process went so well we decided we were ready for one more fall of last year. Today we are proud parents of two healthy spontaneous identical twin boys who needed fetal surgery in Philadelphia and whose medical bills totaled probably close to $400,000. They were born two months premature and spent 1.5 months in the ICU. Both boys are formula fed and I try not to look at the cost of the boys monthly but its easily a grand. Oh-didn't include that minivan we had to buy either.

So yes you can try to plan but if you are going to have them, just do it. The longer you wait the higher risk your wife's pregnancy will be.
WorkToLive
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by WorkToLive »

These costs are a little out of date as my daughter is now 8 and I am past 35, but when I fit into your category:

--I was a SAHM, which "cost" us $8,000 in lost income. I went back to work when she turned 5.
--We did not upgrade our house or car, so no expense there.
--We used cloth diapers, so maybe $500 overall for supplies from birth to potty training.
--Clothing was hand-me-downs, maybe spent $1000 total from birth to five.
--Classes/activities was $100/month as we did a lot (gymnastics, ballet, started piano, summer camps for fun, etc.)
--Gear like crib, car seats, stroller, etc was not much because much was gifted or hand-me-downs. Maybe $2000 overall.

No regrets here and we are glad she is in our life, BUT we stopped with one so I could go back to work. We have never regretted stopping with one child.
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TxAg
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by TxAg »

About $1000/month for food, diapers, doctor visits, insurance, and daycare. We have a 6 month old. 32 and 29.
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bru
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by bru »

Wondering why your title asked for only those under age 35? I am well over that age and have a 6 year old. Any reason you exclude later in life parents?
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ClevrChico
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by ClevrChico »

The big expense is daycare. Net cost after tax benefits is $600/month. The state will pay for half day preschool @ 4 years old.

We invest $50/week into a 529 plan/child.

The HDHP covers 100% of preventative. The employers contribution to the HSA covers non-preventative medical. Health care costs are nearly zero.

A majority of clothes are toys are purchased at garage sales and consignment shops, so that is inexpensive. Food is negligible.

I think $1k/month others have quoted is right in the ballpark for a sensible lifestyle in low cost of living areas.
cyndiego
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by cyndiego »

I would reiterate that daycare/preschool/school is the biggest cost that is largely out of your control. (Even without private school, often people pay a premium on their house to live in a neighborhood with good public school.) The cost of these is hugely location-dependent. In San Diego, our daycare/preschools have been around $900 (and our current preschool is only till 2:30 for $895!), but my friend in Malibu pays $2K I believe (!) and those of you in the midwest probably pay a lot less. Easiest to just call a local place and find out -- and get on the wait list NOW if you are contemplating having kids...
pacodelostigres
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by pacodelostigres »

I'm 36 as of 2 months ago, with a toddler. Sorry I can't be helpful.
kingomri
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by kingomri »

I'm 27 with a 7-month old (wife is 24).

High level useful information: We live in a suburb of one of Ohio's main cities, so a fairly low cost of living area. My wife stays home with the baby for both financial and non-financial (but mostly non-financial) reasons. She breastfeeds and we use cloth diapers (they really are barely more work than disposables - we use disposables when we go out and usually at night, but cloth all the rest of the time), so formula/diaper costs are minimal. Clothes are easy to get hand-me-down or used. Buying new is silly when they outgrow them quickly.

Our experience so far is roughly this:
  • Medical has been the largest cost for us. We hit our family deductible ($6,000) between the birth, an ER visit, and other pediatrician visits. This obviously can vary greatly, and will (hopefully) be much less in subsequent years.
  • Actually, that's not true. The cost of lost wages has to be the highest cost, though indirect. My wife didn't have particularly high pay, but it's still easily the biggest cost. However, keep in mind that staying at home allows her to be more frugal in other areas. We almost never eat out because she always cooks, and she's able to be very frugal with grocery shopping because she has time to devote to it.
  • We moved from an apartment to a house where our costs, including interest/insurance/maintenance/opportunity cost of money tied up in equity/etc. are around $300/month higher. We hated our apartment though, and the house is way, way nicer, so little to none of the $300/month can really be attributed to our son, versus just moving to a nicer place. When we end up having 4+, the cost of getting a house with more bedrooms will definitely be a factor though.
  • Car-wise, we just made sure to get a 4-door car, so that wasn't really a big deal. I had to replace my old 2000 Accord anyway, so we got a 2010 Civic sedan for a good price. I guess we could have maybe gotten a smaller 2-door for cheaper, so there's some cost there? Again, when we have more kids, I could see this being more of a factor.
  • For non-medical, direct baby expenses, we have $125/month budgeted, and even that is more than we need, and we aren't really at all careful with our spending, so I'd say maybe $75-$100/month. This includes things like the start-up costs of cloth diapers, the few disposables that we buy, wipes, clothes, diaper bag, getting necessary furniture, burp cloths, developing/framing pictures to give to family. A lot of the bigger necessities were given to us by family at a baby shower.
  • On the other end of things, we're in the 15% tax bracket, and well below the Child Tax Credit threshold, so between state and federal taxes, we save roughly $1654 in taxes per year, or about $138/month.
  • Also on the other end of things, going out to eat and going to events becomes a bit harder with a baby, so we don't spend as much in those budget categories. We never really did spend much on them, but we're lower by maybe a total of $50+/month.
Hope this is helpful. When you factor in lost wages, yeah, kids are expensive. If you're planning on having lots of kids though (like we are), you can divide that cost across all of them ;) And if you have better health insurance than we have, they can be really cheap for at least the first few years.
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kenyan
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by kenyan »

pacodelostigres wrote:I'm 36 as of 2 months ago, with a toddler. Sorry I can't be helpful.
I am equally unhelpful, as I am 36 with a preschooler and a toddler. However, as a data point for those who think that perhaps the costs of the kid are related more to the kid than whether or not the parents are a couple years older than the OP, I'll post my estimated costs in a HCOLA.

Day care is the biggest by far. Our costs went from ~$1200/month for part-time day care to $1800/month for full-time preschool. Very painful, and take-home pay from the second income doesn't even cover it (but we are getting retirement savings and benefits out of it).

Food costs are not negligible for us, as the children consume lots of fresh fruit and other specific products that aren't necessarily cheap. I'll estimate $200/month.
College savings are not as high as I'd like, but I'm prioritizing retirement savings. $250/month.
Increased housing costs? Likely so, but I can't effectively estimate this. We are also benefiting from the larger/nicer place.
Increased car costs? Different car, but not really a more expensive car than otherwise.
Other random costs - clothing, diapers, general necessities - $150/month. We did benefit from a lot of hand-me-downs.
Gifts/vacations/parties - $150/month.
Classes/lessons - zero now, but I expect this to ramp up, especially as day care costs drop from the equation.
Medical/dental - $200/month in increased deductible premium. $100/month in additional costs, but this will rise substantially due to anticipated dental work.


On the other side of the ledger - tax benefits.

Tax benefit for child care is substantial if you only have a single child in care. If you have a second child, you get no additional benefit ($5000 deductible regardless). Some of the medical/dental costs may also be defrayed by increased FSA usage.

Child tax credit - we are in the phaseout, but are getting something. I believe the benefit was around $1k credit last year, likely lower this year.

Additional exemption(s) if you are eligible.

Back-of-the-envelope gets me a net cost currently of $27k after tax for two kids, not counting increased housing costs or my wife's lower income (still not quite working full-time). If you drop college savings from the equation, it's $24k.
Retirement investing is a marathon.
Andyrunner
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by Andyrunner »

Its impossible to get a good answer.

I spend 200 a week on daycare but if you go into other cities it can be 400 a week also the type of daycare a Montossori program costs more then an inhome place. Food, well that depends how old is the kid (infants take baby food, toddlers take part of your cooked meals), diapers (cloth or disposable), car depends on what you had before/after.

All I can say is, I would have my house paid off, wouldnt of had to buy a new car, and spend a ton of money on carseats, clothes, toys, highchair, etc.
853211
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by 853211 »

We hit your target demographic with a relatively newborn. Staying as two income family as the increase to my insurance to add wife + baby = child care costs, that and the wife wants to continue working:

- Day care runs us anywhere between 750-850 a month due to my ability to work from anywhere and the day care being okay with us scaling up or down as long as we give them 2 weeks notice. We LUCKED out big time through a family friend being the director of the daycare and getting us in, they cater to MD's and RN's with wonky schedule's due to their flexibility.
- Diapers, wipes, other things probably run us about 100 a month.
- We budget about an extra 50 in healthcare per month for the baby and any thing from daycare that makes it way to us.
- Another 50 in 'baby fun' ie, zoo membership, etc..
- No formula costs as wife breastfeeds and pumps

- Initial bills ran us close to 3k for labor and delivery
- Probably spent another 2k on nursery, strollers, car seats, pumps and

All will go up when we have to start buying food but we have a huge garden and live near some local farms so the plan is to make a lot of it ourselves.

No new house as we bought in a good school district and large enough house at the bottom of the market.

LCOL area.
sunnyday
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by sunnyday »

It could have been interesting if the OP asked people to list savings from having a child too. Now that I'm a parent, I rarely go to nice restaurants and never go out to bars. I don't travel as much or do my expensive hobbies as much. I do miss those things, but there's a whole new list of things that are just as enjoyable.

Overall I was still surprised that we spent less after my child's first year compared to the previous year. The main expenses were health insurance, part-time nanny ($14/hr) and diapers ($70/month), but we had tons of gifts and hand-me downs so we didn't need to buy anything else. We'll spend more in the second year (new car, more toys, travel, etc).

In general, it seems like the cost of a child depends on how much you want to spend. I'm not as frugal now that I'm a parent. My current car is fine, but I'm buying a new one that is much safer and more comfortable. Also, time is more critical so paying for certain things to save time and especially weekends is worth the cost.
Andyrunner
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by Andyrunner »

sunnyday wrote:It could have been interesting if the OP asked people to list savings from having a child too. Now that I'm a parent, I rarely go to nice restaurants and never go out to bars. I don't travel as much or do my expensive hobbies as much. I do miss those things, but there's a whole new list of things that are just as enjoyable.
That is a very true statement.
OatmealAddict
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Re: Those under 35 with a child 5 or under: Costs of child?

Post by OatmealAddict »

We're both 32 and have a 5-month old. Our expenses have increased as follows:

Daycare - $975/month
Baby supplies, including formula - $150/month
529 - $100/month
Health insurance premiums went up slightly
Gas and electricity have increased slightly due to additional driving to / from daycare and more bathing, lights on, etc
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