Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

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Leemiller
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by Leemiller »

Lafder wrote: The first big argument my boyfriend and I had was when my parents wanted him to pay rent to them for living in a house they had bought and I was living in for free. He only wanted to pay if it was going towards equity which they thought was absurd, but he thought was fair. I just remember he and I had very different opinions about it. He ended up not paying anything. My parents view was it was their house and he did not get to become an owner simply because he lived there and payed a small amount of $. We are still together and generally I do agree with his reasoning.

Bottomline, law and title are one thing, an agreement between 2 people not in writing is another. Sometimes coming to an agreement is more important than what the law would decide. But at a minimum, she should be paid back for the extra $ she invested before any profit is divided if at all, in my opinion.

lafder
Wait, you think your boyfriend gets to live in a house for free that your parents pay for without caring how they feel about that arrangement? I find this so confusing. Not only is he not an owner in any sense of the word, but it sounds like he is a free loader because he is refusing to pay for rent. Why shouldn't he pay for rent?
2stepsbehind
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by 2stepsbehind »

Leemiller wrote:
Lafder wrote: The first big argument my boyfriend and I had was when my parents wanted him to pay rent to them for living in a house they had bought and I was living in for free. He only wanted to pay if it was going towards equity which they thought was absurd, but he thought was fair. I just remember he and I had very different opinions about it. He ended up not paying anything. My parents view was it was their house and he did not get to become an owner simply because he lived there and payed a small amount of $. We are still together and generally I do agree with his reasoning.

Bottomline, law and title are one thing, an agreement between 2 people not in writing is another. Sometimes coming to an agreement is more important than what the law would decide. But at a minimum, she should be paid back for the extra $ she invested before any profit is divided if at all, in my opinion.

lafder
Wait, you think your boyfriend gets to live in a house for free that your parents pay for without caring how they feel about that arrangement? I find this so confusing. Not only is he not an owner in any sense of the word, but it sounds like he is a free loader because he is refusing to pay for rent. Why shouldn't he pay for rent?
+1.
2stepsbehind
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by 2stepsbehind »

KyleAAA wrote:Add up the total capital invested and apportion the gains that way. The guy clearly isn't a renter by any legal or moral standard and shouldn't be treated as such. He didn't knowingly and intentionally go in as a renter. He doesn't have a signed lease outlining his responsibilities as well as the landlord's. His payment wasn't set by market forces in an arms-length transaction. He doesn't meet any of the criteria of a renter. This guy may be something else other than an owner, but he's definitely not a renter. Apportioning the gains based on capital outlay is the only fair thing to do in this case.

That the bf probably wouldn't be clamoring to write a check for his share in a loss had prices declined is irrelevant. That didn't happen and you couldn't prove it in any case.
I'm not sure I follow this line of thought. Lets change the hypothetical. After declaring bankruptcy, an otherwise homeless 35 year old son moves into his aging parents' home. The parents are having a hard time of it so he makes the mortgage payments. Parents now sell the house. Would you argue that the only fair thing to do is apportion the gains or would you say that son got the benefit of his mortgage payments by having a place to live and is not entitled to anything else?
randomguy
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by randomguy »

Leemiller wrote:
Lafder wrote: The first big argument my boyfriend and I had was when my parents wanted him to pay rent to them for living in a house they had bought and I was living in for free. He only wanted to pay if it was going towards equity which they thought was absurd, but he thought was fair. I just remember he and I had very different opinions about it. He ended up not paying anything. My parents view was it was their house and he did not get to become an owner simply because he lived there and payed a small amount of $. We are still together and generally I do agree with his reasoning.

Bottomline, law and title are one thing, an agreement between 2 people not in writing is another. Sometimes coming to an agreement is more important than what the law would decide. But at a minimum, she should be paid back for the extra $ she invested before any profit is divided if at all, in my opinion.

lafder
Wait, you think your boyfriend gets to live in a house for free that your parents pay for without caring how they feel about that arrangement? I find this so confusing. Not only is he not an owner in any sense of the word, but it sounds like he is a free loader because he is refusing to pay for rent. Why shouldn't he pay for rent?

The boyfriend was paying half of the rent. It just so happened that the parents had set the rent at 0:)

There is no one answer to these type of questions. How much money would the BF have made without the GF? 0 dollars since he didn't have the credit (and just because risk didn't show up doesn't mean you shouldn't be rewarded for taking it). How much would the GF made without the boyfriend? Unknown. She probably could have afford the place (i.e. she did get a mortgage) but might not have made the choice. What if the BF got a cheaper place to live (i.e. paid 1k to the GF for the mortgage versus 1.2k for an apartment)? What if the GF and mom spend 30k renovating/fixing up?
2stepsbehind
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by 2stepsbehind »

randomguy wrote:
Leemiller wrote:
Lafder wrote: The first big argument my boyfriend and I had was when my parents wanted him to pay rent to them for living in a house they had bought and I was living in for free. He only wanted to pay if it was going towards equity which they thought was absurd, but he thought was fair. I just remember he and I had very different opinions about it. He ended up not paying anything. My parents view was it was their house and he did not get to become an owner simply because he lived there and payed a small amount of $. We are still together and generally I do agree with his reasoning.

Bottomline, law and title are one thing, an agreement between 2 people not in writing is another. Sometimes coming to an agreement is more important than what the law would decide. But at a minimum, she should be paid back for the extra $ she invested before any profit is divided if at all, in my opinion.

lafder
Wait, you think your boyfriend gets to live in a house for free that your parents pay for without caring how they feel about that arrangement? I find this so confusing. Not only is he not an owner in any sense of the word, but it sounds like he is a free loader because he is refusing to pay for rent. Why shouldn't he pay for rent?

The boyfriend was paying half of the rent. It just so happened that the parents had set the rent at 0:)
No, the parents charged him an amount which he refused to pay which makes him a squatter.
randomguy
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by randomguy »

2stepsbehind wrote:
No, the parents charged him an amount which he refused to pay which makes him a squatter.
He isn't a squatter until he is asked to leave and doesn't. Up until then he was the guest of the daughter and they were discussing the rights and responsibilities of both parties if he was added to the lease. If that was allowed was between the landlord (parents) and the renter(daughter). Somehow I have a feeling there wasn't a very detailed rental agreement.:)
ERISA Stone
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by ERISA Stone »

My thought is if you want lawyers to stay out, work on an agreement that is fair. If you don't mind lawyers, go with what is legal. We currently do not know exactly what their arrangement is so it seems it would be difficult to know what is legal in this situation anyway.

For those that hypothesize about what would happen if the value of the house dropped, that doesn't appear to be the case in this situation so why would we consider that scenario?
2stepsbehind
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by 2stepsbehind »

ERISA Stone wrote:
For those that hypothesize about what would happen if the value of the house dropped, that doesn't appear to be the case in this situation so why would we consider that scenario?
Because the same principle should apply--if they would share alike in the loss then it makes sense to share alike in the gain. If one party could avoid loss, but profit from gain that is hardly an equitable result.
denovo
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by denovo »

kenner wrote:
cheese_breath wrote:
dolphinsaremammals wrote:I don't see why lawyers have to get involved in this matter. People should behave like responsible, ethical adults (and not waste vast sums on legal fees either, which is what will happen as soon as there is anger involved.)
I agree with your ideal (people should behave like responsible, ethical adults). Unfortunately I also agree with your conclusion (lawyers will become involved as soon as there is anger involved).
Seems that lawyers will become involved if and only if someone hires them.

Also seems that the titled owner of the real property is legally entitled to receive all proceeds from the sale of the property.

Absent a binding prior agreement, the owner is probably entitled to all proceeds from a sale of the property.

A sense of fairness may dictate sharing some portion of proceeds from the sale of the property.
Are you a lawyer? I really wish when people legal assertions, they would indicate whether they are a lawyer or have any relevant first-hand experience in the matter. Of course , this is the Internet so anyone can lie.

I am not going to give anyone legal advice, but let me just say that some of the legal arguments that have been made on this thread are flawed. This isn't a forum for legal advice anyway. Your friend should do what she was hopefully taught by her parents, which is DO THE RIGHT THING.
As others have mentioned, take all expenses, like down payment, mortgage payments, major repair items, property tax, insurance, and divide those out, and apportion the profit accordingly. Who cares if the payment was P or I?
"Don't trust everything you read on the Internet"- Abraham Lincoln
IPer
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by IPer »

Well if she wants to be fair I would hold with the poster that said split all the expenses down and gather a percentage. The mortgage that was funding through him should be considered in lieu of rent, for BOTH of them as neither of them paid rent while living in that house. So it's not like she put in $8400 and he put in $32000 and that is the percentage. It is more like 32000 represents 2x rent (2 x 16000) and she is short 16000 minus the 8400 she already put in which makes her have a lower stake in the profits, assuming all the other expenses are even which I am sure they are not. However, it doesn't sound like, from the overall tone I am gathering, that she wants to be fair so she should just sell the property, move out, kick him out and never speak with him again which is what I would expect will happen unless she is an exceptional being.
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kenner
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by kenner »

denovo wrote:
kenner wrote:
cheese_breath wrote:
dolphinsaremammals wrote:I don't see why lawyers have to get involved in this matter. People should behave like responsible, ethical adults (and not waste vast sums on legal fees either, which is what will happen as soon as there is anger involved.)
I agree with your ideal (people should behave like responsible, ethical adults). Unfortunately I also agree with your conclusion (lawyers will become involved as soon as there is anger involved).
Seems that lawyers will become involved if and only if someone hires them.

Also seems that the titled owner of the real property is legally entitled to receive all proceeds from the sale of the property.

Absent a binding prior agreement, the owner is probably entitled to all proceeds from a sale of the property.

A sense of fairness may dictate sharing some portion of proceeds from the sale of the property.
Are you a lawyer?

Yes, for the last 40 years. And I've studied real property law and handled many real estate transactions. If you'd like to discuss the subject matter of this post, or perhaps the Rule Against Perpetuities, just send me a Private Message or post here - in public - to let me know.

I really wish when people legal assertions, they would indicate whether they are a lawyer or have any relevant first-hand experience in the matter. Of course , this is the Internet so anyone can lie.

Are you calling me a liar?

I am not going to give anyone legal advice, but let me just say that some of the legal arguments that have been made on this thread are flawed. This isn't a forum for legal advice anyway. Your friend should do what she was hopefully taught by her parents, which is DO THE RIGHT THING.
As others have mentioned, take all expenses, like down payment, mortgage payments, major repair items, property tax, insurance, and divide those out, and apportion the profit accordingly. Who cares if the payment was P or I?
Here's what I posted:

"We do not know all the facts and we do not know applicable state law."

What part of that simple statement do you not understand?
Last edited by kenner on Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
dolphinsaremammals
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by dolphinsaremammals »

2stepsbehind wrote: I'm not sure I follow this line of thought. Lets change the hypothetical. After declaring bankruptcy, an otherwise homeless 35 year old son moves into his aging parents' home. The parents are having a hard time of it so he makes the mortgage payments. Parents now sell the house. Would you argue that the only fair thing to do is apportion the gains or would you say that son got the benefit of his mortgage payments by having a place to live and is not entitled to anything else?
People have an obligation to their parents, who have spent vast sums of money on them over the years and cared for them. So the son has no claim on the house.

In the case the OP is talking about, there was a two year relationship that has gone poof. Things need to be settled as though this was an ethical business arrangement between two independent parties.
randomguy
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by randomguy »

There is a lot that is unknown (i.e. Imagine the conversation was "Buy the house and I will pay you rent to help cover the costs" versus"Lets buy a house together. The mortgage will be lower than my rent".) about the expectations and reality (i.e. what if he paid the mortgage but she paid the same amount in other house expenses (taxes, utilities, food)? It is easy to say do what is right but defining that is much harder. Some people think 0 for the BF is fair. Others think he should get 30k.

Personally I think there is going to be almost zero profit. That 50k I am sure is off something like the real estate agent said it would sell for 290k and we paid 240k. When it sells for 275k and they pay 15k of commissions and 10k back to the relatives for the roof repairs you end up arguing over a pretty small amount of money.
IPer
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by IPer »

randomguy wrote:There is a lot that is unknown (i.e. Imagine the conversation was "Buy the house and I will pay you rent to help cover the costs" versus"Lets buy a house together. The mortgage will be lower than my rent".) about the expectations and reality (i.e. what if he paid the mortgage but she paid the same amount in other house expenses (taxes, utilities, food)? It is easy to say do what is right but defining that is much harder. Some people think 0 for the BF is fair. Others think he should get 30k.

Personally I think there is going to be almost zero profit. That 50k I am sure is off something like the real estate agent said it would sell for 290k and we paid 240k. When it sells for 275k and they pay 15k of commissions and 10k back to the relatives for the roof repairs you end up arguing over a pretty small amount of money.
+1 could be! I just hope the OP reports back to let us know how it all panned out!
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KyleAAA
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by KyleAAA »

2stepsbehind wrote:
KyleAAA wrote:Add up the total capital invested and apportion the gains that way. The guy clearly isn't a renter by any legal or moral standard and shouldn't be treated as such. He didn't knowingly and intentionally go in as a renter. He doesn't have a signed lease outlining his responsibilities as well as the landlord's. His payment wasn't set by market forces in an arms-length transaction. He doesn't meet any of the criteria of a renter. This guy may be something else other than an owner, but he's definitely not a renter. Apportioning the gains based on capital outlay is the only fair thing to do in this case.

That the bf probably wouldn't be clamoring to write a check for his share in a loss had prices declined is irrelevant. That didn't happen and you couldn't prove it in any case.
I'm not sure I follow this line of thought. Lets change the hypothetical. After declaring bankruptcy, an otherwise homeless 35 year old son moves into his aging parents' home. The parents are having a hard time of it so he makes the mortgage payments. Parents now sell the house. Would you argue that the only fair thing to do is apportion the gains or would you say that son got the benefit of his mortgage payments by having a place to live and is not entitled to anything else?
No, but that hypothetical has absolutely nothing in common with this situation.
KyleAAA
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by KyleAAA »

2stepsbehind wrote:
ERISA Stone wrote:
For those that hypothesize about what would happen if the value of the house dropped, that doesn't appear to be the case in this situation so why would we consider that scenario?
Because the same principle should apply--if they would share alike in the loss then it makes sense to share alike in the gain. If one party could avoid loss, but profit from gain that is hardly an equitable result.
But we have no idea what would have happened in that situation, so it's irrational to consider it. All we know is what actually happened.
epitomist
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by epitomist »

KyleAAA wrote:But we have no idea what would have happened in that situation, so it's irrational to consider it. All we know is what actually happened.
Actually, all we know is what an anonymous person posted on an Internet forum about something they are only peripherally aware of. :D

This topic sure seems to have pressed some people's buttons though.
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FelixTheCat
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by FelixTheCat »

I would calculate the profit based on the percentage of income invested. Let's say there has been a total of 40K invested. Girl invested 30K, Boy 10K. I would give 75% of profit to Girl and 25% profit to Boy.
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2stepsbehind
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by 2stepsbehind »

KyleAAA wrote:
2stepsbehind wrote:
KyleAAA wrote:Add up the total capital invested and apportion the gains that way. The guy clearly isn't a renter by any legal or moral standard and shouldn't be treated as such. He didn't knowingly and intentionally go in as a renter. He doesn't have a signed lease outlining his responsibilities as well as the landlord's. His payment wasn't set by market forces in an arms-length transaction. He doesn't meet any of the criteria of a renter. This guy may be something else other than an owner, but he's definitely not a renter. Apportioning the gains based on capital outlay is the only fair thing to do in this case.

That the bf probably wouldn't be clamoring to write a check for his share in a loss had prices declined is irrelevant. That didn't happen and you couldn't prove it in any case.
I'm not sure I follow this line of thought. Lets change the hypothetical. After declaring bankruptcy, an otherwise homeless 35 year old son moves into his aging parents' home. The parents are having a hard time of it so he makes the mortgage payments. Parents now sell the house. Would you argue that the only fair thing to do is apportion the gains or would you say that son got the benefit of his mortgage payments by having a place to live and is not entitled to anything else?
No, but that hypothetical has absolutely nothing in common with this situation.
KyleAAA wrote:
2stepsbehind wrote:
ERISA Stone wrote:
For those that hypothesize about what would happen if the value of the house dropped, that doesn't appear to be the case in this situation so why would we consider that scenario?
Because the same principle should apply--if they would share alike in the loss then it makes sense to share alike in the gain. If one party could avoid loss, but profit from gain that is hardly an equitable result.
But we have no idea what would have happened in that situation, so it's irrational to consider it. All we know is what actually happened.
That is why it is called a hypothetical. Any lawyer/law student by training will answer the hypothetical and then distinguish it from the current scenario a la dolphinsaremammals. dolphinsaremammals would it change your perspective if instead of being the son it was a distant cousin?
Rich in Michigan
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by Rich in Michigan »

VINNY wrote: There really was no agreement or understanding regarding this when they bought the home. .
Maybe not, but it seems they had a de facto agreement that she would pay the down payment, he would pay everything else, and her Mom would pay for repairs. I realize none of that was in writing.

No clue at all about how this would play out legally, but unless there is real animosity here wouldn't the ethical solution be to first repay the mother from the profit, tally up the percentages of total expenses that each paid, and divide the remaining profit according to those percentages?
randomguy
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by randomguy »

Rich in Michigan wrote:
VINNY wrote: There really was no agreement or understanding regarding this when they bought the home. .
Maybe not, but it seems they had a de facto agreement that she would pay the down payment, he would pay everything else, and her Mom would pay for repairs. I realize none of that was in writing.

No clue at all about how this would play out legally, but unless there is real animosity here wouldn't the ethical solution be to first repay the mother from the profit, tally up the percentages of total expenses that each paid, and divide the remaining profit according to those percentages?
Not sure if that is fairer than other options like paying back mom and then splitting what is left 50/50. You can come up with a zillion "Fair" schemes and one of the partners will think they deserve more. BF says I spend 30k, she spent 10k, fair is I gets 75% of the profits. GF goes I took the credit risk, tied up my 10k for much longer, BF couldn't have invested without me, fair is I get 100%.
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VINNY
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by VINNY »

Just a quick update. First off thank you for all the responses, it has really helped her decide what to do.

She listed the house today with a realtor for $360,000.00 and they paid $240,000.00 two years ago. I told her to make sure this listing price is in line with comp's in the area, so that he doesn't list the home at an unreasonable price just to get the listing.

If they make a profit net of the fees, she will repay her mother first. She has decided that because he would've been renting all along, she is going to take his old rent of 1100.00 and deduct it from the monthly mortgage payment he was making, I believe she said the difference was approximately $400.00

She will multiply that by the number of payments he made and use that as a reference point to determine his percentage of the profit net of expenses like realtor fees.

She believes this is fair and liked this option of all the suggestions given. He really can't complain, he would have been collecting rent receipts all this time so instead of getting nothing he will share in the profit based on a percentage of the money he had put towards the home.

Oh and I suggested that if she ever do this again, to have something in writing beforehand so there aren't any problems down the road.
Minot
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by Minot »

VINNY wrote:Just a quick update. First off thank you for all the responses, it has really helped her decide what to do.

She listed the house today with a realtor for $360,000.00 and they paid $240,000.00 two years ago. I told her to make sure this listing price is in line with comp's in the area, so that he doesn't list the home at an unreasonable price just to get the listing.

If they make a profit net of the fees, she will repay her mother first. She has decided that because he would've been renting all along, she is going to take his old rent of 1100.00 and deduct it from the monthly mortgage payment he was making, I believe she said the difference was approximately $400.00

She will multiply that by the number of payments he made and use that as a reference point to determine his percentage of the profit net of expenses like realtor fees.

She believes this is fair and liked this option of all the suggestions given. He really can't complain, he would have been collecting rent receipts all this time so instead of getting nothing he will share in the profit based on a percentage of the money he had put towards the home.

Oh and I suggested that if she ever do this again, to have something in writing beforehand so there aren't any problems down the road.
Thanks for letting us know how it turned out!
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cheese_breath
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by cheese_breath »

VINNY wrote:Just a quick update. First off thank you for all the responses, it has really helped her decide what to do.

She listed the house today with a realtor for $360,000.00 and they paid $240,000.00 two years ago. I told her to make sure this listing price is in line with comp's in the area, so that he doesn't list the home at an unreasonable price just to get the listing.

If they make a profit net of the fees, she will repay her mother first. She has decided that because he would've been renting all along, she is going to take his old rent of 1100.00 and deduct it from the monthly mortgage payment he was making, I believe she said the difference was approximately $400.00

She will multiply that by the number of payments he made and use that as a reference point to determine his percentage of the profit net of expenses like realtor fees.

She believes this is fair and liked this option of all the suggestions given. He really can't complain, he would have been collecting rent receipts all this time so instead of getting nothing he will share in the profit based on a percentage of the money he had put towards the home.

Oh and I suggested that if she ever do this again, to have something in writing beforehand so there aren't any problems down the road.
Now that she's decided what she's going to do I'd be interested in knowing how he reacts to it.
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dbr
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by dbr »

cheese_breath wrote: Now that she's decided what she's going to do I'd be interested in knowing how he reacts to it.
Indeed. Fair isn't about what she decides but about what THEY agree to.
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VINNY
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by VINNY »

cheese_breath wrote:
VINNY wrote:Just a quick update. First off thank you for all the responses, it has really helped her decide what to do.

She listed the house today with a realtor for $360,000.00 and they paid $240,000.00 two years ago. I told her to make sure this listing price is in line with comp's in the area, so that he doesn't list the home at an unreasonable price just to get the listing.

If they make a profit net of the fees, she will repay her mother first. She has decided that because he would've been renting all along, she is going to take his old rent of 1100.00 and deduct it from the monthly mortgage payment he was making, I believe she said the difference was approximately $400.00

She will multiply that by the number of payments he made and use that as a reference point to determine his percentage of the profit net of expenses like realtor fees.

She believes this is fair and liked this option of all the suggestions given. He really can't complain, he would have been collecting rent receipts all this time so instead of getting nothing he will share in the profit based on a percentage of the money he had put towards the home.

Oh and I suggested that if she ever do this again, to have something in writing beforehand so there aren't any problems down the road.
Now that she's decided what she's going to do I'd be interested in knowing how he reacts to it.
When the home sells, and she splits the profits accordingly, I will let you know how he reacts. I have a feeling he probably won't care much. I'm just basing this off what I know of him. He's a spendthrift. He has leased cars, expensive ones, filed for bankruptcy when the condo he bought didn't appreciate a gazillion dollars like he thought and could no longer afford it.

He buys expensive clothes, fancy watches and just traded in his one year old Harley for the newer model. This infuriated my friend (his girlfriend) and it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

He recently leased a BMW SUV and just returned it to the dealer after about 6-8 months because she refused to help him pay for all these new toys. He basically tries to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous on a salary of about 100K and it's just not possible. He's a narcissist and I think she is just finally realizing they aren't compatible in more ways than just financially!
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Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

VINNY wrote:
cheese_breath wrote:
VINNY wrote:Just a quick update. First off thank you for all the responses, it has really helped her decide what to do.

She listed the house today with a realtor for $360,000.00 and they paid $240,000.00 two years ago. I told her to make sure this listing price is in line with comp's in the area, so that he doesn't list the home at an unreasonable price just to get the listing.

If they make a profit net of the fees, she will repay her mother first. She has decided that because he would've been renting all along, she is going to take his old rent of 1100.00 and deduct it from the monthly mortgage payment he was making, I believe she said the difference was approximately $400.00

She will multiply that by the number of payments he made and use that as a reference point to determine his percentage of the profit net of expenses like realtor fees.

She believes this is fair and liked this option of all the suggestions given. He really can't complain, he would have been collecting rent receipts all this time so instead of getting nothing he will share in the profit based on a percentage of the money he had put towards the home.

Oh and I suggested that if she ever do this again, to have something in writing beforehand so there aren't any problems down the road.
Now that she's decided what she's going to do I'd be interested in knowing how he reacts to it.
When the home sells, and she splits the profits accordingly, I will let you know how he reacts. I have a feeling he probably won't care much. I'm just basing this off what I know of him. He's a spendthrift. He has leased cars, expensive ones, filed for bankruptcy when the condo he bought didn't appreciate a gazillion dollars like he thought and could no longer afford it.

He buys expensive clothes, fancy watches and just traded in his one year old Harley for the newer model. This infuriated my friend (his girlfriend) and it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

He recently leased a BMW SUV and just returned it to the dealer after about 6-8 months because she refused to help him pay for all these new toys. He basically tries to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous on a salary of about 100K and it's just not possible. He's a narcissist and I think she is just finally realizing they aren't compatible in more ways than just financially!
Does this open the door for you? :wink:
"One should invest based on their need, ability and willingness to take risk - Larry Swedroe" Asking Portfolio Questions
Topic Author
VINNY
Posts: 505
Joined: Wed Mar 28, 2007 9:07 pm

Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by VINNY »

Grt2bOutdoors wrote:
VINNY wrote:
cheese_breath wrote:
VINNY wrote:Just a quick update. First off thank you for all the responses, it has really helped her decide what to do.

She listed the house today with a realtor for $360,000.00 and they paid $240,000.00 two years ago. I told her to make sure this listing price is in line with comp's in the area, so that he doesn't list the home at an unreasonable price just to get the listing.

If they make a profit net of the fees, she will repay her mother first. She has decided that because he would've been renting all along, she is going to take his old rent of 1100.00 and deduct it from the monthly mortgage payment he was making, I believe she said the difference was approximately $400.00

She will multiply that by the number of payments he made and use that as a reference point to determine his percentage of the profit net of expenses like realtor fees.

She believes this is fair and liked this option of all the suggestions given. He really can't complain, he would have been collecting rent receipts all this time so instead of getting nothing he will share in the profit based on a percentage of the money he had put towards the home.

Oh and I suggested that if she ever do this again, to have something in writing beforehand so there aren't any problems down the road.
Now that she's decided what she's going to do I'd be interested in knowing how he reacts to it.
When the home sells, and she splits the profits accordingly, I will let you know how he reacts. I have a feeling he probably won't care much. I'm just basing this off what I know of him. He's a spendthrift. He has leased cars, expensive ones, filed for bankruptcy when the condo he bought didn't appreciate a gazillion dollars like he thought and could no longer afford it.

He buys expensive clothes, fancy watches and just traded in his one year old Harley for the newer model. This infuriated my friend (his girlfriend) and it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

He recently leased a BMW SUV and just returned it to the dealer after about 6-8 months because she refused to help him pay for all these new toys. He basically tries to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous on a salary of about 100K and it's just not possible. He's a narcissist and I think she is just finally realizing they aren't compatible in more ways than just financially!
Does this open the door for you? :wink:
I don't think my wife would approve, lol. But I must say it's pretty amazing how another person in a relationship could bring you down financially. She was and is still pretty savvy. She was a great saver but ever since meeting him, it's been a constant struggle to save.

I think she's pretty embarrassed of her situation because I warned her how he was and she knows how I am as far as saving and investing, and she's tried to take my advice and has done so up until she got involved with him.

She told me today that she has racked up some credit card debt from furnishing the home and figured he'd change his ways, and that once he paid off his credit cards, he could help pay for the furnishings she bought. Two years later, he hasn't changed and still hasn't paid off his own credit cards.

But instead he continues to spend and throw caution to the wind. She was always use to saving and paying her credit cards in full. His spendthrift ways and lack of savings put enough stress on the relationship that she could no longer live like this.

She told me he constantly refers to people less fortunate and worse off then they are like him mother who was a single parent after a divorce and that "she made it" The reality is she lives in an apartment and in her old age can barely make ends meet and my friend tells him, she wants to be better off than these people because unlike them, they have great jobs.

They have the potential to save and live comfortably but he lacks the discipline to do so. He constantly tells her she is obsessed with saving and makes her feel crazy at times.

I assured her she is not. She's living a very different lifestyle than what she was accustomed to, she went from saving and being comfortable to living check to check. She's had enough after realizing she can't change him and wants to move on and find someone more compatible.

I told her it could have been worse, you could of had a child together or married making the situation far worse.
User avatar
dm200
Posts: 23214
Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:21 pm
Location: Washington DC area

Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by dm200 »

As you relate this, it seems that, apparently as sole owner of the home, she seems to be in the drivers seat on primarily determining the disposition and splitting of any gain on the sale of the home - so it could be worse.
epitomist
Posts: 240
Joined: Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:00 pm

Re: Sale of a home between boyfriend and girlfriend.

Post by epitomist »

VINNY wrote:She was a great saver but ever since meeting him, it's been a constant struggle to save.
I would imagine it would've been easier based on the fact he was paying her mortgage every month.

My first inclination when hearing someone complain about their significant other is that I'm probably only hearing one side of the issue and that I should probably take what they say with a grain of salt.

You certainly seem to be very knowledgeable on this topic though! If nothing else good comes from this, at least we can believe that your White Knight Certificate is probably in the mail! :D
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