That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

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Cut-Throat
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That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Cut-Throat »

And you didn't win the lottery.

I was helping a friend with his newly entered retirement stage. He had not planned on this, but suffered a layoff about a year ago and not finding employment made him realize that in essence he was retired. He was very concerned about money, as he didn't have enough and this was was weighing heavily on his mind. Until he went to a doctor and they found Stage 4 cancer. Now money is No problem at all. he likely will not make it another year.

His priorities have been completely re-arranged, as they should be. Just something to think about as we will all be in a similar situation someday (Even though, most folks I know are in denial).

My Take away: Don't put off that once in a lifetime Safari Trip to Africa, because it might screw up your rock solid plans based on a 2% SWR!
dickenjb
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by dickenjb »

Good thing you didn't have him buy an SPIA because he was in Otar's Red Zone.
kaudrey
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by kaudrey »

I am sorry to hear about your friend. I wish him the best as he battles this horrible disease.
Professor Emeritus
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by Professor Emeritus »

Cut-Throat wrote: My Take away: Don't put off that once in a lifetime Safari Trip to Africa, because it might screw up your rock solid plans based on a 2% SWR!
DW was also suddenly disabled. We go back on safari next week.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by Professor Emeritus »

dickenjb wrote:Good thing you didn't have him buy an SPIA because he was in Otar's Red Zone.
OFGS Lets be nice

You buy it with a 20 year minimum payout. Diseases are what insurance and emergency funds are for.
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G12
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by G12 »

Cut-Throat wrote:His priorities have been completely re-arranged, as they should be. Just something to think about as we will all be in a similar situation someday (Even though, most folks I know are in denial).
Sorry to hear about your friend's diagnosis, I can empathize after being diagnosed 2+ years ago with a stage III tumor. Hope he is able to do the things he considers most important to him. After going through that and rebounding some topics I read on here make me shake my head, especially many of the "can I retire threads?" It's one thing to exercise caution and prudence, quite another to think one can offset or overcome every unforeseen future setback which may/may not occur. It's like the saying goes, "you are healthy until you are not."
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ResearchMed
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by ResearchMed »

Cut-Throat wrote:And you didn't win the lottery.

I was helping a friend with his newly entered retirement stage. He had not planned on this, but suffered a layoff about a year ago and not finding employment made him realize that in essence he was retired. He was very concerned about money, as he didn't have enough and this was was weighing heavily on his mind. Until he went to a doctor and they found Stage 4 cancer. Now money is No problem at all. he likely will not make it another year.

His priorities have been completely re-arranged, as they should be. Just something to think about as we will all be in a similar situation someday (Even though, most folks I know are in denial).

My Take away: Don't put off that once in a lifetime Safari Trip to Africa, because it might screw up your rock solid plans based on a 2% SWR!
This type of concern is EXACTLY why we bumped up all of our "special travel" plans a bit more than a year ago.

And then we had to cancel the first, with less than two weeks to go, and it took a few months to know that DH wouldn't have a permanent problem.
And I've had two too-close-encounters with the grim reaper and surgery.

So as soon as DH was okay, and we could turn our attention to happier things, we started making reservations galore, with the first few being some of the places that might require the highest activity level.

And about a week ago, a colleague (very close to DH's age) died suddenly and unexpectedly.
That got us in the gut, big time.

Life is fragile and precious.

RM
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dodecahedron
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by dodecahedron »

This thread reminds me that my 59-year-old husband (in apparently vibrant health, and having meticulously cared for himself via lifestyle and regular physician visits due to family history) and I were planning a dream trip to Finland for last summer. We were having so much fun planning it. Sadly and completely unexpectedly, a few months before our planned departure, he just took a nap and did not wake up. (A heart attack, which surprised everybody who knew him, including his physician.) I am still feeling shell-shocked.

At some point, when my spirits have recovered enough to plan and enjoy it, I hope I can find a time that works for both my daughters to accompany me on that trip.

Carpe diem!
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by gerrym51 »

you just never know!
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by HomerJ »

My wife and I had always planned to get a lake house and a boat when we retired in ten years.

Her good friend from high school died last year unexpectedly at age 52. Pretty healthy until she wasn't.

That shook up my wife a bit, and we bought a small lake condo (instead of a full-sized retirement lake house) and a boat last fall.

This summer has been a blast, and I'm very glad we didn't wait another ten years to enjoy our dreams.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by J295 »

From our IPS ......
To retain awareness that there are two risks impacting our financial choices. One, the risk that we could someday run out of money. The other, more subtle, that we die without living fully because we are unduly inhibited by the first risk. We shall strike a balance and retain flexibility. Phil. 4:12
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by Robert T »

.
In reading this thread - just to say so sorry for the misfortunes.

Invest in your health, invest in those close to you, and invest in good memories. life is uncertain. Taken the approach of not spending much day to day but also not skimping on vacations.

Best to all
.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Fallible »

Very sorry to hear about your friend. Once again we see the uncertainty of life and why there is a constant struggle to balance our saving and spending - saving enough for a good retirement, but still spending on (and correctly identifying) the “right” pleasures, the ones that make life worth living.
"Yes, investing is simple. But it is not easy, for it requires discipline, patience, steadfastness, and that most uncommon of all gifts, common sense." ~Jack Bogle
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htdrag11
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by htdrag11 »

Sorry to hear that; we're all mortals.

I went out an bought a 3-year old Lexus and replacing a 2-year old Mazda this week, quite unlike me. When my wife asked me why, I just said that I'm worth it... (it's too bad that Tesla has not brought out the X model yet). I'm slowly getting back to the habit of spending because I could.

At this stage, there is no need but just want.

Carpe diem indeed!
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Kulak
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Kulak »

Two comments:

1. Read my signature. Anything beyond about 85% portfolio survivability is a waste of resources, if not a form of self-deception.

2a. [This is FYI, not medical advice, talk to your doctor blahblahblah:] A very low-fat, starch-based, nearly-vegan, whole-foods diet (no cholesterol, no concentrated fats from animals or plants including olive oil, no sugary junk -- only vegetables, fruits, grains, tubers, and limited amounts of skim dairy and egg whites) has been demonstrated in peer-reviewed journals like NEJM, Lancet, Am J Cardiology, etc. to arrest and even reverse the progression of cardiovascular disease, type-2 diabetes and prostate cancer, and is the exact diet eaten by several of the longest-lived, healthiest populations on record.

2b. A CT coronary artery calcium score ("heart scan"), for a mere ~$100 and a small dose of X-rays, can detect and track the progression of coronary atherosclerosis YEARS before an event. A carotid artery ultrasound can do sort-of the same thing (more for ischemic stroke, but it's really the same disease process).
Depriving ourselves to boost our 40-year success probability much beyond 80% is a fool’s errand, since all you are doing is increasing the probability of failure for [non-financial] reasons. --wbern
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Andyrunner »

Wife is 31 and I will be 30 in three months. I'm hoping in 10 years we can start doing a lot of things we want to do. (Glacier NP, Hiking in the Alps, visit Patagonia, etc). Our argument is we dont want to be attempting these trips when we can still go 8-10 miles no problem, I dont want to visit these places when I am in wheelchair or walking with a cane.

Wife and I made sure we didnt have to big of a house so we can have it paid off in 10 years and use the extra money for fun.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Jack FFR1846 »

Unfortunately, I find some 20 year olds who go by "go on that safari/ buy that sports car/ splurge on yourself now cause you're only young once. I expect they will be broke many times.
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amitb00
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by amitb00 »

Sorry to know and indeed there is so much uncertainty ... Do everything in a reasonae manner. Do not over save to the extent you are missing the life. Life is a journey and not destination. Enjoy it all along.
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Cut-Throat
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Cut-Throat »

Jack FFR1846 wrote:Unfortunately, I find some 20 year olds who go by "go on that safari/ buy that sports car/ splurge on yourself now cause you're only young once. I expect they will be broke many times.
And those 20 year olds are not on this site, reading this thread.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Barefootgirl »

Call me crazy, but this is why when I first became aware (only in the past couple weeks) of deferred income annuities, it seemed to answer part of the puzzle for me…just buy one soon, so that I have it in place as insurance, in case I need it, then between now and then - enjoy my money while I still can.

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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Sunny Sarkar »

Cut-Throat wrote:
Jack FFR1846 wrote:Unfortunately, I find some 20 year olds who go by "go on that safari/ buy that sports car/ splurge on yourself now cause you're only young once. I expect they will be broke many times.
And those 20 year olds are not on this site, reading this thread.
Not true. I spent my entire first paycheck (save $15) on a music system. Few months later I bought a new car. 4 months later traded it for a new convertible sports car. I took all the vacations I could think of and visited 17 different states during a single year.

Now I am boring and have a portfolio.
"Buy-and-hold, long-term, all-market-index strategies, implemented at rock-bottom cost, are the surest of all routes to the accumulation of wealth" - John C. Bogle
MP1233
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by MP1233 »

This is one more example why one should live life while you can. However, I think it is often times incorrect to think that leaving money unspent is a bad thing. I save money for two reasons: retirement (deferred spending) and to hopefully contributing to the well being of the next generation.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by dodecahedron »

MP1233 wrote:This is one more example why one should live life while you can. However, I think it is often times incorrect to think that leaving money unspent is a bad thing. I save money for two reasons: retirement (deferred spending) and to hopefully contributing to the well being of the next generation.
Indeed, me too, but you can also enjoy spending some of your money to help the next generation while you are still alive.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by MP1233 »

dodecahedron wrote:
MP1233 wrote:This is one more example why one should live life while you can. However, I think it is often times incorrect to think that leaving money unspent is a bad thing. I save money for two reasons: retirement (deferred spending) and to hopefully contributing to the well being of the next generation.
Indeed, me too, but you can also enjoy spending some of your money to help the next generation while you are still alive.
I will certainly do that. I have very minimal needs and it is often difficult to find material goods that I am interested in buying. However, when my son got his first job this year, I matched his first contribution ($1500) to his Roth IRA. It was the most meaningful "purchase" I have made this year.
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burt
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by burt »

dodecahedron wrote:This thread reminds me that my 59-year-old husband (in apparently vibrant health, and having meticulously cared for himself via lifestyle and regular physician visits due to family history) and I were planning a dream trip to Finland for last summer. We were having so much fun planning it. Sadly and completely unexpectedly, a few months before our planned departure, he just took a nap and did not wake up. (A heart attack, which surprised everybody who knew him, including his physician.) I am still feeling shell-shocked.

At some point, when my spirits have recovered enough to plan and enjoy it, I hope I can find a time that works for both my daughters to accompany me on that trip.

Carpe diem!
Thank-you for sharing your story. It brought me back to my fathers sudden demise at age 61, and my Mother's struggles.
I wish you the best going forward.

"At this stage in life I value time over money"

burt
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by ubermax »

Sorry to here about your friend Cut-Throat and thanks for sharing this very personal story - I lost my father after a brief illness when he was 62 and I 15 & my mother passed very suddenly when I was 34 - my wife and I are now both retired & are more involved in the lives of our children & grand-children - this has been our retirement "treat" rather than planning trips.

But as we age we are reminded that it doesn't have to be catastrophic illness that can curb even the simplest of plans - there are many lesser bodily afflictions that can impact your quality of life - and so your advise , don't wait do it now is very appropriate .

thanks again for sharing !!!!
bb
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by bb »

It would be interesting to know the percentage of bogleheads that have
high savings rates simply because they don't want a lot of stuff. In those
cases the struggle between saving/spending presumably is less.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem.........

Post by cherijoh »

dodecahedron wrote:This thread reminds me that my 59-year-old husband (in apparently vibrant health, and having meticulously cared for himself via lifestyle and regular physician visits due to family history) and I were planning a dream trip to Finland for last summer. We were having so much fun planning it. Sadly and completely unexpectedly, a few months before our planned departure, he just took a nap and did not wake up. (A heart attack, which surprised everybody who knew him, including his physician.) I am still feeling shell-shocked.

At some point, when my spirits have recovered enough to plan and enjoy it, I hope I can find a time that works for both my daughters to accompany me on that trip.

Carpe diem!
I am sorry for your loss. I hope you get the opportunity to take your trip with your daughters. Also sorry for OP's loss of a friend.

I have been taking trips that many people put off until retirement for the last 20 years, because of several similar stories - an older coworker retired and was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor within 3 months of his retirement. He and his wife were still in planning stages for their big retirement trip for later in the year.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Gnirk »

amitb00 wrote:Sorry to know and indeed there is so much uncertainty ... Do everything in a reasonae manner. Do not over save to the extent you are missing the life. Life is a journey and not destination. Enjoy it all along.
Very true. My dad was diagnosed with cancer during a routine checkup at the age of 65, and died five months later. My frugal mom told me she regretted not traveling more with dad, as he wanted. They had the $$$, she just didn't want to spend it.
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ResearchMed
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by ResearchMed »

We had already decided to start "retirement travel", as I mentioned, even though DH didn't want to retire (now or ever, if I listen to him, and if he enjoys it, I don't want to push him to stop, obviously), but he did agree to start taking and using that vacation time.

And then, we had to cancel the very *first* trip, due to a medical emergency.
Fortunately, he recovered.

But when the colleague died about 2+ weeks ago, suddenly and totally unexpectedly... we've decided to bump up some of the "special travel", and DO IT - while we can.

We don't want "things" at this point in our lives, but there is a lot of travel that we didn't do earlier, and now... we want to do our best to enjoy those places while we can.

If we get the biggies "checked off" the list, then we'll slow down again for repeats, or places not so high on the priorities.
And of course, at some point, we'll need to "slow down" in a different way, so that's another reason we are now trying to bunch up several trips.

Hearing all of these other similar experiences really confirms our feeling that we are making the right decision (given that we can't "back up" and do some of these trips "earlier").

It is all too easy to take life and health for granted when one has, seemingly, lots of both.

RM
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Rexindex »

I am so sorry to hear about your friend.

Anxiety is all about the past and more often, all about the future. I think we would all do well to realize after taking reasonable action to prepare for a long life, we should all prepare for the possibility of a shorter life. There will be a day for all of us when money will be no object. Balance is a hard thing, until we hear a story like this and it snaps us back from the sometimes extreme lengths we go to consciously or subconsciously escape the inevitable.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by Fallible »

Rexindex wrote:I am so sorry to hear about your friend.

Anxiety is all about the past and more often, all about the future. I think we would all do well to realize after taking reasonable action to prepare for a long life, we should all prepare for the possibility of a shorter life. There will be a day for all of us when money will be no object. Balance is a hard thing, until we hear a story like this and it snaps us back from the sometimes extreme lengths we go to consciously or subconsciously escape the inevitable.
So true about balance being hard, and because we can't know the future, it's nearly impossible to get it right every time. We'll always probably decide to save more when we really could spend and vice versa. Even the sad stories we see here and the ones we've experienced ourselves can help us achieve the right balance only so much.
"Yes, investing is simple. But it is not easy, for it requires discipline, patience, steadfastness, and that most uncommon of all gifts, common sense." ~Jack Bogle
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by ofcmetz »

Great thread. It really makes me think and reflect when I read everyone's stories. So many of life's financial choices depend on how long you think you or your loved ones may live or stay in good health. I think wisdom calls for us to find some sort of balance in this. About two years ago at the age of 32 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune arthritis, I remarked to my wife that I feel like I should now both save more for the future and spend more on enjoying life today. For me the answer seems to be to invest a certain percentage, and then with no regrets spend the rest on experiences with loved ones. I wish ya'll the best in reaching your balance. I feel like some days I move too far either way in either spending or saving and that's why I'm thankful for threads like these.

OP, I wish you and your friend the best. One of my good friends and coworkers is almost two years for a cancer diagnosis that gave him only an estimated year. He's in remission and back working like before. What the doctor's give you is just a guess. Maybe things will go better.
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Re: That sudden moment when Money is not a Problem

Post by mortal »

Sorry to hear that; we're all mortals.
Boy, don't I know it!* ;)

Cut, sorry to hear about your friend. It wouldn't really trouble me to 'drop dead' at a certain age, having money left unspent. At best, I'm in a better place. At worst, I'm not around to regret it. However, being given a terminal diagnosis would be devastating.

I'm 31, I'm single and I save over half my gross income. I want to be financially independent. I want the freedom to pursue whatever interests me. If I 'retire' at 50, and die at 65, at least I will have had a good 15 years to do what I wish. Spending more money now might be nice, but I tend to consider these things carefully.

Sometimes I do wonder if I sacrifice too much now, for the sake of my future self? The tough part is, I'll only know that I've over saved once I reach my goal. I tend to be a bit of a worrier, and I take the view that 'anything could happen' between now and then, so it's best to make hay while the sun shines.

---
* Actually, my username is a reference to the fact that in linux, root is considered a 'superuser', with god-like powers. I always imagined it greek mythology style, with all other users being 'mere mortals'.
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