How do I stop worrying about money?
- TheTimeLord
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How do I stop worrying about money?
How do I stop worry about money? I feel I have saved enough the inertia will get me to my saving goals. I still have a good job and save monthly. I have about 4 years of expenses in my taxable portfolio. I will get a good SS benefit and a small pension. IMHO I am ridiculously fortunate and blessed financially but I have spent so long focusing on getting here I am having trouble letting go. Any tips because I don't want to spend my remaining working years or any retirement years worrying about this stuff.
IMHO, Investing should be about living the life you want, not avoiding the life you fear. |
Run, You Clever Boy! [9085]
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
I don't think you can because its your personality. I was like you then I realized I"m better than a lot of people in this country. Money will never be enough and life is too short to think about it all the time.
- TheTimeLord
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
I gained some perspective when I saw the figures for what it takes to be top 5 and 10 percent in income in the U.S. and realized where our planned retirement income would place us. It is time to realize we have done a good job, we are going to be okay barring a calmity. You just can't let this control your life.ktd wrote:I don't think you can because its your personality. I was like you then I realized I"m better than a lot of people in this country. Money will never be enough and life is too short to think about it all the time.
IMHO, Investing should be about living the life you want, not avoiding the life you fear. |
Run, You Clever Boy! [9085]
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Read "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. Life changing if you want it to be.
My money has no emotions. ~Moshe |
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I'm the world's greatest expert on my own opinion. ~Bruce Williams
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
You aren't the only one. Excessive worry is one of my bad habits. For me, a lot of it comes from early hardship, and hardship stories in my family that go back to the Civil War. It's given me the idea that the world is a dangerous place, and I can't trust it. I need to go back and re-read the beautiful words that begin, "consider the lilies..."
"My bond allocation is the amount of money that I cannot afford to lose." -- Taylor Larimore
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Force yourself to make a large but beneficial expenditure, and all other expenditures will become "normal."
Victoria
Victoria
Inventor of the Bogleheads Secret Handshake |
Winner of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. |
Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Maybe slow down on the StarBuxIngestion?
I realized 5 years ago that after a divorce and a bad business deal, that my prior life of relative frugality and diligent retirement savings didn't matter, that I was a mid 40s HENRY. I have been worried about money since, but less so, now that I am re-compiling retirement savings, but I lost decades of compounding interest, and I now have to do much more heavy work (instead of compounding), to get there. I do worry about it too much, but I'm getting better.
We ALL have our issues.
I realized 5 years ago that after a divorce and a bad business deal, that my prior life of relative frugality and diligent retirement savings didn't matter, that I was a mid 40s HENRY. I have been worried about money since, but less so, now that I am re-compiling retirement savings, but I lost decades of compounding interest, and I now have to do much more heavy work (instead of compounding), to get there. I do worry about it too much, but I'm getting better.
We ALL have our issues.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Well one way to begin to reduce worry is to consider sharing your blessings in some systematic fashion.
You will be doing some good at the same time that your ability to share will reinforce your sense that you are among the fortunate.
Lev
You will be doing some good at the same time that your ability to share will reinforce your sense that you are among the fortunate.
Lev
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Do you really think that if you stop worrying about money, your brain will not simply shift to worrying about something else?
Best regards, -Op |
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"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." Einstein
- TheTimeLord
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Sort of an occupational hazard. My job has always been about finding what's wrong, fixing it and getting it delivered. Unfortunately, I am now very good at spotting potential issues in virtually everything. So basically I get paid well to shoulder the worry. Sort of a 2 edge sword.Call_Me_Op wrote:Sounds like you have an anxious personality. Unfortunately, in such cases it seems that the brain will always find something to worry about.
IMHO, Investing should be about living the life you want, not avoiding the life you fear. |
Run, You Clever Boy! [9085]
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Reminds me of the old joke:VictoriaF wrote:Force yourself to make a large but beneficial expenditure, and all other expenditures will become "normal."
Victoria
A man goes to his rabbi complaining how cramped and noisy his home is.
Day One:
Rabbi: "Move the dog into the house."
Man: "not sure how this will help but you are the rabbi!"
Day two:
Man: "the noise is worse than ever!"
Rabbi: "Now move the goat into the house!"
Day three:
Man: "Oy Veh. What are you doing to me????"
Rabbi: "Now move the cow inside!"
Day four:
Man "I am going mishuga (crazy)!!!!! Rabbi. Help me please!"
Rabbi: "OK. Move all the animals outside"
Day Five:
Rabbi: "nu? How is it now?"
Man: "Heaven"
~Moshe
My money has no emotions. ~Moshe |
|
I'm the world's greatest expert on my own opinion. ~Bruce Williams
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
We had a similar joke back in Russia. Our cramped apartments rivaled any "cramping" you would find here.moshe wrote:Reminds me of the old joke:VictoriaF wrote:Force yourself to make a large but beneficial expenditure, and all other expenditures will become "normal."
Victoria
A man goes to his rabbi complaining how cramped and noisy his home is.
...
~Moshe
Victoria
Last edited by VictoriaF on Mon Mar 10, 2014 11:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
Inventor of the Bogleheads Secret Handshake |
Winner of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. |
Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
What exactly are you worried about? Running out of money, a failure of your investment strategy, or what?
In theory, theory and practice are identical. In practice, they often differ.
- swimirvine
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
How about putting up an "Will I Ready to Retire in X Years?" post. There are a lot of smart people on this website and a portfolio review might make you feel more confident.
The way I invest my money is not the right way to invest, it's the right way for ME to invest.
- Random Musings
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Realize that, even if you had a lot more money, money can't solve all your problems.
And people somehow can survive during retirement on far, far less. But they do struggle with more basic choices (food vs. medicine) that you most likely won't have to deal with.
Your glass is well more than half-way full, be thankful and move on.
RM
And people somehow can survive during retirement on far, far less. But they do struggle with more basic choices (food vs. medicine) that you most likely won't have to deal with.
Your glass is well more than half-way full, be thankful and move on.
RM
I figure the odds be fifty-fifty I just might have something to say. FZ
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Just enjoy life. Spend quality time with family and good friends. Eat good food, drink good wine and coffee (which you have), and just enjoy life.
And try to not compare your wealth against those who are even wealthier.
It sounds like you have a very bright future, so just enjoy that.
And try to not compare your wealth against those who are even wealthier.
It sounds like you have a very bright future, so just enjoy that.
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Give more to causes that you are passionate about. Giving is about the greatest kick you can get out of life, especially when you see the positive impact it makes. This will make you worry less and be more grateful with your life and your success.
Debt is dangerous...simple is beautiful
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
I would agree.ktd wrote:I don't think you can because its your personality.
BTW, I'm the same "type" of person/personality.
IMHO, it's better to be concerned with $$$ (and your future) than just ignore it, and live for "today".
FWIW...
- Ron
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Give away all your money now. When you see that things will work out without any money, then you will be at peace.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Does worrying help? Seriously? Of course the answer is no, all you're doing is traumatizing yourself - you're the only one who can do this to yourself, no one else. Sounds too easy, but once you fully grasp that worrying accomplishes nothing positive at all, you can learn to accept.
Money is not the issue, it's worry itself.
Doesn't mean reckless abandon. By all means educate yourself and plan, then establish what your investment philosophy needs to be (to allow you to sleep at night) with your spending in mind, and still have a plan B if not several.
And then you accept.
I've been there myself (in the pointless worry camp) - though most will dismiss my POV altogether, but money truly isn't the issue.
Money is not the issue, it's worry itself.
Doesn't mean reckless abandon. By all means educate yourself and plan, then establish what your investment philosophy needs to be (to allow you to sleep at night) with your spending in mind, and still have a plan B if not several.
And then you accept.
I've been there myself (in the pointless worry camp) - though most will dismiss my POV altogether, but money truly isn't the issue.
You only live once...
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Maybe increasing donations to charities would help? I've read that giving helps to establish an attitude of gratitude (at what you have) because so many others have so much less.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
+1Midpack wrote:Does worrying help? Seriously? Of course the answer is no, all you're doing is traumatizing yourself - you're the only one who can do this to yourself, no one else. Sounds too easy, but once you fully grasp that worrying accomplishes nothing positive at all, you can learn to accept.
Money is not the issue, it's worry itself.
Doesn't mean reckless abandon. By all means educate yourself and plan, then establish what your investment philosophy needs to be (to allow you to sleep at night) with your spending in mind, and still have a plan B if not several.
And then you accept.
I've been there myself (in the pointless worry camp) - though most will dismiss my POV altogether, but money truly isn't the issue.
I was a complete worry wart in my 20s and early 30s. A divorce that set me back financially didn't help. I worried about every dollar I spent. But, now in my mid-40s, I have learned not to worry so much. Years of saving and investing, developing a retirement plan and setting everything on autopilot has helped. Could I still worry about the market dropping 30-40% again? Sure. Do I? No. Why? Because I can't control it.
It really is about being able to change your thinking. I can't control the market, so worrying about it doesn't do anything for me. I can control how much we save, so I make sure we stay on target there, and invest according to our AA etc. If I am doing that, then I can sleep at night. But that took a long time. I am still quite frugal, but don't freak out about enjoying a nice dinner out or going on 2-3 vacations a year. Being able to believe that I can afford to live now AND save for retirement removed much of the worry.
Do I worry excessively about something else in its place? I don't think so. But 15 years ago, I probably would have. I am much more able to "let things go" than I was back then. You can change, but it isn't easy!
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Always ask yourself how valuable is your health? After all, it's only money and you can't take it with you.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Take a break from this board.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
I am very interested in the responses to this post because I am the same way. I probably have more than most, but I can't let go. I can't stop and smell the roses, as they say. It sounds like you are the same. If so, I don't know what to tell you. I read "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie many years ago. I helped some. It's pretty dated, but the lessons are ageless. Another thing that helps me is to look at the big picture. I would get bogged down with the daily problems and get depressed. When you look at the big picture, it's not so bad. Occasionally, I go back and read an essay titled "The Station" by Robert Hastings. http://www.thestationessay.com/
You just have to keep working at it. Some people just worry more than others.
You just have to keep working at it. Some people just worry more than others.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
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Last edited by HueyLD on Sat Feb 07, 2015 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Taylor Larimore
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
StarbuxInvestor:
If you are in good health you are rich.
Best wishes.
Taylor
If you are in good health you are rich.
Best wishes.
Taylor
"Simplicity is the master key to financial success." -- Jack Bogle
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Hah....livesft is simple and correct again! Bet ya can't do! Intellectually these things are simple, emotionally these things are nearly impossible. In my own personal experience, my intellect has no connection to my emotions.livesoft wrote:Give away all your money now. When you see that things will work out without any money, then you will be at peace.
Easy does it/Live & Let Live/One day at a time. Thanks Bill.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Taylor is right. I have a friend who lost his wife a few weeks ago. He just called me yesterday and told me his only son died. It's all relative.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
You can certainly try this one. At it's completion you have roughly a 99% chance of having the same fears and apprehension as when you started. Get it? It's not about the money. It's about you. (if I had a solution, I would share it).swimirvine wrote:How about putting up an "Will I Ready to Retire in X Years?" post. There are a lot of smart people on this website and a portfolio review might make you feel more confident.
Easy does it/Live & Let Live/One day at a time. Thanks Bill.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
I quit worrying at 50, it wasn't working.......
"Reality always wins, your only job is to get in touch with it." Wilfred Bion
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Invest in a small basket of well diversified, low cost, broad based, index mutual funds.
The sewer system is a form of welfare state. |
-- "Libra", Don DeLillo
- TheTimeLord
- Posts: 12130
- Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2013 2:05 pm
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Well that didn't work for me.roymeo wrote:Invest in a small basket of well diversified, low cost, broad based, index mutual funds.
IMHO, Investing should be about living the life you want, not avoiding the life you fear. |
Run, You Clever Boy! [9085]
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
I think this is it. Try out a 1 month break from finance and financial news to start. Ignore the noise and simply do the other things that you do for a month. Then, assess - is it the stream of finance noise from news and the forum that is causing or at least greatly contributing to your worry.Zytos wrote:Take a break from this board.
You seem to obsess over questions which don't really have a practical impact on anything, yet you worry enough to post:
Can your cap gains percentage be too high (what's the real, true benefit you are going to get from this - even if you get the best possible "answer".)
What's your up to the minute AA (spending time on a money question which is essentially moot.)
And, you had a few other ones, but my point is these seem to be posting to agitate over financial topics that aren't really important. Perhaps just habit - or a bit of obsessiveness - I don't know. But, stopping for a while might give you some insight.
Leonard |
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Market Timing: Do you seriously think you can predict the future? What else do the voices tell you? |
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If employees weren't taking jobs with bad 401k's, bad 401k's wouldn't exist.
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
While I am not close to retirement, I understand your concern. We are so focused on saving and investing "enough" that at what point do you begin to let go of so many worries.
When someone asks me, I often say my goals at retirement will be our health then be have saved and invested enough.
When someone asks me, I often say my goals at retirement will be our health then be have saved and invested enough.
John C. Bogle: “Simplicity is the master key to financial success."
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Ruminators gonna ruminate...
and it it's not about it will be about something else.
and it it's not about it will be about something else.
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Hmm... I can definitely relate to this. Counting blessings, practicing an "attitude of gratitude", following some of the suggestions above could help. One thing that helped me deal with this anxiety (not overcome, exactly, but really diminish) was using a book by Brent Kessel titled It's Not About the MONEY. Part of what he helps one to see is what money represents to an individual and how that plays out in one's life. Even before reading the book I knew that money represents security, to me. But since some security had been breached when I was a child, well, enough said. The bottom line is that I find the book helpful at times in re-examining my emotions and their ties to money. That book, and a dear, always optimistic and grateful spouse, have helped me calm much of my long-held anxiety. Good luck.
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Sometimes you need to show your money who's the boss. This is a somewhat inexpensive indulgence. Make a reservation at a really, really great restaurant owned and operated by a well-known chef. Hopefully you have some near you.
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
You are not alone "If you worry about money issues, you have a lot of company – according to a Marist Institute Poll published in USA Today, 65% of Americans “always” or “sometimes” worry about their money"StarbuxInvestor wrote:How do I stop worry about money? I feel I have saved enough the inertia will get me to my saving goals. I still have a good job and save monthly. I have about 4 years of expenses in my taxable portfolio. I will get a good SS benefit and a small pension. IMHO I am ridiculously fortunate and blessed financially but I have spent so long focusing on getting here I am having trouble letting go. Any tips because I don't want to spend my remaining working years or any retirement years worrying about this stuff.
Sometimes I have found people just need to be told "Congratulations, you made it!"
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
We should have a Starbux ratio, or the worry-adjusted ratio, defined as the excess worry over the expected mean worry divided by the standard deviation of the utility of that worry.You are not alone "If you worry about money issues, you have a lot of company – according to a Marist Institute Poll published in USA Today, 65% of Americans “always” or “sometimes” worry about their money"
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
This is very common and somewhat natural to feel this way -to some extent. That is just the paradox of wealth. The more you have, the more afraid you are of losing it all. So no, it's not your personality or your coffee drinking habits or anything else.StarbuxInvestor wrote:How do I stop worry about money? I feel I have saved enough the inertia will get me to my saving goals. I still have a good job and save monthly. I have about 4 years of expenses in my taxable portfolio. I will get a good SS benefit and a small pension. IMHO I am ridiculously fortunate and blessed financially but I have spent so long focusing on getting here I am having trouble letting go. Any tips because I don't want to spend my remaining working years or any retirement years worrying about this stuff.
Cosmo
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
As usual, Taylor, WELL SAID. And may I add, you are inspiration for us all. And in more ways than one...Taylor Larimore wrote:StarbuxInvestor:
If you are in good health you are rich.
Best wishes.
Taylor
- TheTimeLord
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
My wife has pointed out several times you were more relaxed when we had less saved.Cosmo wrote:This is very common and somewhat natural to feel this way -to some extent. That is just the paradox of wealth. The more you have, the more afraid you are of losing it all. So no, it's not your personality or your coffee drinking habits or anything else.StarbuxInvestor wrote:How do I stop worry about money? I feel I have saved enough the inertia will get me to my saving goals. I still have a good job and save monthly. I have about 4 years of expenses in my taxable portfolio. I will get a good SS benefit and a small pension. IMHO I am ridiculously fortunate and blessed financially but I have spent so long focusing on getting here I am having trouble letting go. Any tips because I don't want to spend my remaining working years or any retirement years worrying about this stuff.
Cosmo
IMHO, Investing should be about living the life you want, not avoiding the life you fear. |
Run, You Clever Boy! [9085]
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
StarbuxInvestor
Perhaps you have won the race, taken the victory lap and still redlining the engine?
Take your foot off the accelerator and glide into the recognition of your accomplishments.
Your health and a loving soul mate, what more does one need?
Perhaps you have won the race, taken the victory lap and still redlining the engine?
Take your foot off the accelerator and glide into the recognition of your accomplishments.
Your health and a loving soul mate, what more does one need?
"..the cavalry ain't comin' kid, you're on your own..."
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
Good conversation.
Fist step - Start by taking a break from this forum--not kidding--also take a break from all other forums dealing with savings and investing.
Second step - Stop watching or listening to CNBC or any other taking head type of show dealing with savings and investing.
Third step - Stop watching your portfolio, things are not going to change in your portfolio, so, take a deep breath, count to ten, and relax.
Fourth and last step - Develop a SWAN or sleep well at night type of portfolio, I suspect that your portfolio is not passing your pillow test.
Thanks for reading.
Fist step - Start by taking a break from this forum--not kidding--also take a break from all other forums dealing with savings and investing.
Second step - Stop watching or listening to CNBC or any other taking head type of show dealing with savings and investing.
Third step - Stop watching your portfolio, things are not going to change in your portfolio, so, take a deep breath, count to ten, and relax.
Fourth and last step - Develop a SWAN or sleep well at night type of portfolio, I suspect that your portfolio is not passing your pillow test.
Thanks for reading.
~ Member of the Active Retired Force since 2014 ~
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
You might also consider what luxuries could be cut from your budget if something happened and you needed to get by on less. It may even help you appreciate those things more.
"Old value investors never die, they just get their fix from rebalancing." -- vineviz
- zaboomafoozarg
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
That's so true. Sometimes I wish I could go back a few years when I had 1/5 the money but felt 5 times better. It might be unrelated though, work has been stressful for a long time now.StarbuxInvestor wrote:My wife has pointed out several times you were more relaxed when we had less saved.
- TimeRunner
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Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
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Last edited by TimeRunner on Wed Dec 12, 2018 10:55 am, edited 2 times in total.
One cannot enlighten the unconscious. | "All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine." -Jeff Spicoli
Re: How do I stop worrying about money?
That and stop reading all the articles written in magazines every month. Meditation mentioned above. And Cognitive therapy if if you need more.Zytos wrote:Take a break from this board.