Rodc wrote:When you were young did your parents ever buy you something you did not absolutely need? Because you wanted it?
If so they gave you money (or things that cost money) for nothing. Or when you were 5 did they never buy you something unless you first did chores?
Virtually all parent give their kids money for non essentials. We just choose to call it by different names or do it in slightly different ways.
I have known many who did not get an allowance; they simply got money in more ad hoc ways that likely did less to help them learn to handle money. Most turned out fine by the way. This is not some super critical aspect of parenting.
If someone wants to tie to chores that is fine. Not the lesson I want to focus on, in that area I want to focus on we help each other.
My kids get food, shelter, all the things they need and a few things they want. That seems to be what you should provide for your kids, that is the right thing to do. It is because that is what responsible parents to. I choose to fund some of the wants through allowance. Other things I pay for directly. Allowance is not simply for breathing.
The "No allowance" group with whom I am familiar also end up treating their children with less respect - it is always the parents decision if the child is going to get something when it is not a holiday. Child wants to go somewhere with friends that costs money - parent makes decision. Child wants something - parent makes decision. Allowance is a way to get move this decision making to the child, and teach them that resources are finite.
I got 25 cent a week, usually on Saturday. I had to put 10 cents into the collection at church on Sunday. I had to save another 10 cents to put in the bank at every Friday's bank trip (days before ATM's, etc.). I could do anything I wanted with the other 5 cents.
When I got to be 10 or so it increased to $1 week, and at some point, went to $10 month. Similar charitable and savings requirements, but my responsibilities also increased. I could pack a lunch from the food at home, or buy a lunch at school with my own funds - either way, there was no parental involvement. If I wanted to join an after school sports league that cost money, I paid. By the time I was 12, my father told me his yearly budget for my clothes (excluding shoes) was $60. Once he had spent that, he would not be spending any more. I could select my own clothes, but once the $60 was spent, I would need to buy any more out of my allowance or earned money. He continued to buy shoes as I grew out of them as that was rather unpredictable. My tastes exceeded my allowance, so I started mowing lawns & washing cars, and learned delayed gratification. I also learned to account for what I spent.
I do recall saving for a fancy bicycle, as I felt I had outgrown the one I received for my 8th or 10th birthday. I saved and saved. When I reached $40 or $50, my father said he would match the balance of the bicycle savings at 50%. When I thought I reached the goal, he took me to the bike store and I was SO excited. I had not accounted for sales tax so I did not have enough to buy the bicycle. We left the store and went home - I was quite disappointed. I started hustling the neighborhood to mow more lawns. That week my father told me he would lend me the money for the sales tax, provided all allowance and earned money went 100% to pay my debt until it was paid, and until it was paid off, he "owned" the bike and put more limits than usual on how I could use it. I got the bike the next weekend. I learned very valuable lessons in that incident that I remember to this day: 1. Do your research - find out the total cost. I had been in that bike shop admiring that bike 8 or 10 times. I never asked about the total cost out the door - I had only planned on the cost on the tag hanging from the handlebar. 2. Have a plan B. 3. Pay your debts off immediately, or ASAP.