"Visual mondegreens"

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities

Postby VictoriaF » Sat Jun 11, 2011 9:06 am

DRiP Guy wrote:Auditory mondegreens can be pretty funny ("watch out for the under-toad".... " 'scuze me while I kiss this guy", "there's the bathroom on the right," etc)* but are often persistent, because once misheard, they tend to get mentally fixed in our brains, sometimes for years until with a burst of sudden realization (or explaination) we hear the *real* meaning.


I was for years baffled by the Queen's song Headlong. I was hearing "Put your Russian hat on!" whereas Queen was singing "And you're rushin' Headlong!"

Victoria
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Postby nisiprius » Fri Jun 17, 2011 6:39 am

Bounty paper towels: Tough on messes, soft on feces.

What? (blink and look again). Oh, faces.
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Postby woof755 » Fri Jun 17, 2011 9:33 am

Yesterday at Coldstone Creamery: "construction site cupcake"

I read "Constipation Cupcake"

Deeeelish.
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Postby gotherelate » Sun Jun 19, 2011 12:49 pm

I thought this topic might get pulled for being racist. Maybe it's just the rampant mentioning of Greece's financial troubles that made me read the title as "Greek Store Clerks."
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Postby nisiprius » Sun Jun 19, 2011 3:04 pm

gotherelate wrote:I thought this topic might get pulled for being racist. Maybe it's just the rampant mentioning of Greece's financial troubles that made me read the title as "Greek Store Clerks."
And I thought he meant "green store clerks" as in "inexperienced."

Trivia question, apropos of "Greek store clerks." Here's the verse of a very very well-known song from the 1920s. Can you guess (or do you know) the familiar chorus (which begins with the long's title?) Verse, from memory:

"There's a food store on our block, it's run by a Greek;
And he has good things to eat, oh, but hear him speak!
You can ask him anything, he never will say no;
He just 'yes's' you to death, and as he takes your dough

He'll just say...."

Another clue: there was some controversy about a similarity between the tune and the "Hallelujah chorus" from Handel's Messiah.

I heard this song many times and couldn't make out one of the words, until I realized it's supposed to be a comic mispronunciation of the word "cabbages" (pronounced as kah-BODGE-es, accent on the second syllable).
Last edited by nisiprius on Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby gotherelate » Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:10 pm

Yes, we have no bananas ...
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Postby gotherelate » Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:13 pm

and the rest of the chorus (courtesy of Barry Popik):

We have-a no bananas today.
We’ve string beans, and onions
Cabbageses, and scallions,
And all sorts of fruit and say
We have an old fashioned to-mah-to
A Long Island po-tah-to
But yes, we have no bananas.
We have no bananas today.
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Postby nisiprius » Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:23 pm

Correct!
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Postby gotherelate » Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:47 pm

Google is your friend. :wink:
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Postby nisiprius » Thu Jun 23, 2011 10:10 pm

IRS Announces Changes to FUBAR Rules.

Blink, blink, look again... oh, FBAR.
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Postby DRiP Guy » Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:41 pm

Hmmm..... do we have room for a category: "completely internal mental mondegreens"?

Image
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Postby DRiP Guy » Sun Jul 10, 2011 5:17 pm

"Victoria Beckham and Kate Hudson Give Birth"
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/sli ... m-10702555
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Postby nisiprius » Sun Jul 17, 2011 7:11 am

"A versatile volcano in central Indonesia unleashed its most powerful eruption yet Sunday..."

...blink...

...oh, volatile volcano.
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Postby gotherelate » Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:28 pm

and now for a false positive with this thread.
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Postby nisiprius » Tue Aug 02, 2011 1:28 pm

"After knowing of [an issue allowing people to get an edge on the state lottery] since 2005, the state of MA quickly changed the rules so each store is only allowed to sell $5,000 of Cash WinFall tickets each day."

WinFail?

(blink)

WinFall.
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Postby LadyGeek » Thu Aug 11, 2011 4:43 pm

We just had a change in upper level management personnel. The departing manager's position has not yet been filled, so I received this email from his boss:

… Until selection of a new manager is complete; I have anointed (a manager) to fill this role in an acting capacity.

What it really said:

… Until selection of a new manager is complete; I have appointed (a manager) to fill this role in an acting capacity.

Very appropriate. :)
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Postby nisiprius » Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:24 am

LadyGeek wrote:I have anointed (a manager) to fill this role in an acting capacity.
Hair tonic for the pointy-haired boss?

I saw a headline this morning, "Officials warn about EEE risk in 4 towns," and thought "Wow, I didn't know bond ratings went that low..." :)
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Postby dm200 » Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:18 am

Then there are the words to the Christmas Carol, "Silent Night"

Round John Virgin ...
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Postby dm200 » Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:21 am

And the Italian immigrant who opens his newspaper and sees the headllne -

300 men to lay Virginia Pipeline

and he thinks "Virginia" is an amazing "working girl", perhaps even from his hometown in Italy
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Postby torius71 » Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:02 pm

Logged on to Bogleheads and read a similar ongoing thread title as "Favorite Priapisms". :shock:

Three blinks later I was reading about "Favorite Malapropisms". :)
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Postby dm200 » Fri Aug 12, 2011 12:40 pm

torius71 wrote:Logged on to Bogleheads and read a similar ongoing thread title as "Favorite Priapisms". :shock:

Three blinks later I was reading about "Favorite Malapropisms". :)


I think "Priapism" is what I saw my urologist about last year. Ten days of antibiotics took care of it completely. :D
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Postby torius71 » Fri Aug 12, 2011 8:33 pm

dm200 wrote:
torius71 wrote:Logged on to Bogleheads and read a similar ongoing thread title as "Favorite Priapisms". :shock:

Three blinks later I was reading about "Favorite Malapropisms". :)


I think "Priapism" is what I saw my urologist about last year. Ten days of antibiotics took care of it completely. :D


Must of been some strong antibiotics. :lol:
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Postby bertilak » Fri Aug 12, 2011 9:27 pm

whatever wrote:On TV, I always do a double take when I see the words "Pawn Stars" from the History channel. Well, what do you think I see?


You see the pun they intended you to see.
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Postby DRiP Guy » Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:49 pm

I thought this was a visual mondegreen:


"Man Killed in Airplane Collision With Girlfriend Over Alaska"


Then I figured it had to be a visual mondegreen.

Then I knew it must be a visual mondegreen.

Dang.

Turns out it is NOT a visual mondegreen.


Just Weird.

ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- A pilot was communicating by radio with her boyfriend before their planes collided in the air over Alaska last week, killing him, a federal investigator said.

The two pilots took off from different western Alaska villages Friday but met up in the air on the way to Bethel, Alaska, National Transportation Safety Board investigator Clint Johnson told the Anchorage Daily News Sunday.

Kristen Sprague, 26, was flying a Cessna 207 operated by rural freight carrier Ryan Air, according to Alaska State Troopers. She made an emergency landing with one airplane wing seriously damaged and wasn't hurt.
The other plane, a Cessna 208 Caravan, crashed and burst into flames Friday around 1:30 p.m. near the village of Nightmute, Alaska, about 400 miles west of Anchorage, Alaska, killing Scott Veal, 24, of Kenai, Alaska. Each was the only person onboard.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/09/05/ma ... er-alaska/
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Postby DRiP Guy » Mon Sep 05, 2011 6:53 pm

DRiP Guy wrote:Just Weird.


...and sad.
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Postby nisiprius » Fri Oct 07, 2011 9:48 pm

"Six strategies for dealing with underwater luggage."

Blink...

...oh, "Six strategies for dealing with an underwater mortgage."
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby DRiP Guy » Tue Nov 08, 2011 8:57 pm

"Autism Linked to Excess Neurons"
http://www.medpagetoday.com/Neurology/Autism/29531



I honestly thought this was (inexplicably!) about the researchers who claimed to have captured neutrons moving faster than speed of light, until I reread the headline a third time, slowly...
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby NAVigator » Tue Nov 08, 2011 9:19 pm

DRiP Guy wrote:I honestly thought this was (inexplicably!) about the researchers who claimed to have captured neutrons moving faster than speed of light, until I reread the headline a third time, slowly...

I had to read your post a third time, slowly... to realize you were talking about the researchers who claimed to have captured neutrinos moving faster than the speed of light... :wink:

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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby DRiP Guy » Tue Nov 08, 2011 10:08 pm

NAVigator wrote:
DRiP Guy wrote:I honestly thought this was (inexplicably!) about the researchers who claimed to have captured neutrons moving faster than speed of light, until I reread the headline a third time, slowly...

I had to read your post a third time, slowly... to realize you were talking about the researchers who claimed to have captured neutrinos moving faster than the speed of light... :wink:

Jerry


Doh.


Maybe it's time for some down time on my end....

:oops:
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby ryuns » Fri Jan 06, 2012 7:33 pm

"Got hit by my first commuter train"

:shock:

Ohhhhhh. "Got hit by my first computer virus".
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. -- GK Chesterton
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby nisiprius » Tue Jan 24, 2012 3:16 pm

"Good place for storing short-term memory?"

Yeah, I could really use that.

Blink...

Good place for storing short term money. Never mind.
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby honkeoki » Tue Jan 24, 2012 10:56 pm

At a used car lot:

"Will of the underworld"

(It really said "We will not be undersold") :oops:
Be smug when others are fearful; be fearful when others are smug.
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby ObliviousInvestor » Wed Jan 25, 2012 12:07 pm

After a few years of blogging, I've noticed that a subconscious (apparently thoroughly vain) part of my brain has taken to scanning pages while I'm reading them to look for links/references to my blog. I'll be in the middle of reading the second sentence of an article/blog post when, BAM, I find myself suddenly staring at a reference to my blog in the bottom right-hand corner of the page. I don't do it intentionally, and I can't even turn it off. It's as if the words "piper" or "oblivious" are written in 40-point, 3-D, yellow-highlighted font.

What's funny -- and the reason I mention it here -- is that this part of my brain is apparently not a very careful reader, because the words "obvious" "obviate" and "oblivion" all have the same eye-magnet effect. Within 3-4 seconds of beginning to read something, I'll find myself staring directly at those words if they appear anywhere on the page at all.
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby nisiprius » Wed Jan 25, 2012 12:45 pm

Adding an obligato, I hope I'll seem neither objectionably obsequious nor obliquely obfuscatory when I say that --political comment deleted-- would find it obligatory to observe that that obviates all the obvious obloquies.

If that didn't cure you, take two piperazines and call me in the morning.
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby ObliviousInvestor » Wed Jan 25, 2012 12:52 pm

nisiprius wrote:Adding an obligato, I hope I'll seem neither objectionably obsequious nor obliquely obfuscatory when I say that --political comment deleted-- would find it obligatory to observe that that obviates all the obvious obloquies.

If that didn't cure you, take two piperazines and call me in the morning.

:lol :lol Fantastic.

Bonus points for adding two words to my vocabulary. :)
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby jimgour » Wed Jan 25, 2012 12:54 pm

My wife used to sing:

Don't know much about history
Don't know much biology
Don't know much about a science book
Don't know much about the french eyed cook

Thirty years later she learned the last line was really

"Don't know much about the french I took"
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby nisiprius » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:37 pm

"Fecal cliff"
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness; Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery.
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby prudent » Sun Dec 30, 2012 10:59 pm

A mondegreen from my youth was wondering why the Canadians said in their national anthem that "We stand on cars for thee".

Another from my youth was the odd phrase that my father used when referring to something in a vague manner: "watch column". For example, "Go out to the car and get that watch column out of the back seat." This meant to get whatever happened to be there. For years, even into adulthood, I wondered where he picked up that strange phrase as I never heard anyone else use it. And then one day, I suddenly realized what he was saying - "whatcha call 'em" (what do you call them).
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Re: "Visual mondegreens"

Postby Epsilon Delta » Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:22 am

I read "antimalware" as "animalware" and was wondered who installed an unauthorized program on my PC, and was hoping that it was just a game.
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