Messy baby restaurant etiquette
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Messy baby restaurant etiquette
As a first time father of a now 11-month old, we have fully introduced solid foods and the little guy is really into feeding himself. While it relieves some of the burden of physically spoon feeding him, as all you parents know, the messiness factor increases by an order or magnitude. He is at the point where he is getting a bit headstrong about feeding himself, and will often resist being spoon fed. He has not mastered the spoon himself by a long shot.
We don't eat out quite as much as we used to, but he is a good eater and behaves fairly well, so we still go out quite a bit. We like to frequent more casual/bistro type places that are a bit noisier and cater more to families. White tablecloth, candlelit dinners are only for date nights at the moment.
My question is how do others approach the mess that is inevitably created when we let him feed himself at a restaurant? We can't give him a plate because it will go flying. Food typically gets smeared on the table, high-chair and floor. We plan to get some type of sticky placemat to help keep the tabletop a bit cleaner.
Should we be morally obligated to clean up his mess, or is this something the restaurant is expected to reasonably take care of if they allow children?
We don't eat out quite as much as we used to, but he is a good eater and behaves fairly well, so we still go out quite a bit. We like to frequent more casual/bistro type places that are a bit noisier and cater more to families. White tablecloth, candlelit dinners are only for date nights at the moment.
My question is how do others approach the mess that is inevitably created when we let him feed himself at a restaurant? We can't give him a plate because it will go flying. Food typically gets smeared on the table, high-chair and floor. We plan to get some type of sticky placemat to help keep the tabletop a bit cleaner.
Should we be morally obligated to clean up his mess, or is this something the restaurant is expected to reasonably take care of if they allow children?
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I would phone the restaurant and warn them and ask if that situation is okay as long as you leave a giant tip. I'm pretty sure they don't want patrons cleaning up tables. Depending on what his range is, you might pick a time when you can get an isolated table.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
We ate out in restaurants a lot before kids, with newborns, toddlers, and even now with college students. I suggest you observe what other kids and families are doing. I think you will find that folks with messy eaters do not go to restaurants or just let the kids eat Cheerios. Nothing should end up on the floor. Nothing.
You can take your kids, but feed them well beforehand. That way, they can simply entertain you and the other patrons with their shenadigans without the need to eat food themselves.
You can take your kids, but feed them well beforehand. That way, they can simply entertain you and the other patrons with their shenadigans without the need to eat food themselves.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I have a couple of kids that have graduated from this phase, thank goodness.
I think parents should be obligated to leave a restaurant/table in reasonably clean shape. There are all types of plastic mats and bibs to help out this situation. In some restaurants, they just are too nice to bring kids too. It's a hassle for a year or two, but setting decent expectations and helping your kids keep clean will pay off for years to come.
You don't have to leave the table perfectly clean, but it shouldn't take the wait staff more than a few moments to clean up where a kid has eaten. If you want to leave very large tips for the staff, I might change my opinion a bit.
I think parents should be obligated to leave a restaurant/table in reasonably clean shape. There are all types of plastic mats and bibs to help out this situation. In some restaurants, they just are too nice to bring kids too. It's a hassle for a year or two, but setting decent expectations and helping your kids keep clean will pay off for years to come.
You don't have to leave the table perfectly clean, but it shouldn't take the wait staff more than a few moments to clean up where a kid has eaten. If you want to leave very large tips for the staff, I might change my opinion a bit.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
+1 - my kids were messy in terms of food all over their face - not on the floor. We typically brought the sticky table toppers (mainly for germ control), Cheerios, and often went when there was not a huge crowd (like lunch at 11 or 2 or dinner at 4:30)so we got seated fast, good came out quick and there was not a lot of distractions for our kids.... There should not be a mess to clean up (former waiter experience) although everybody knows accidents can happenlivesoft wrote:We ate out in restaurants a lot before kids, with newborns, toddlers, and even now with college students. I suggest you observe what other kids and families are doing. I think you will find that folks with messy eaters do not go to restaurants or just let the kids eat Cheerios. Nothing should end up on the floor. Nothing.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Two words: Take out.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I would try to leave no bigger mess than usual customers would leave out of courtesy to the staff. Cannot always be accomplished, but I try to be vigilant about prevention (removing any spillable objects from the child's immediate vicinity, assistance with cutting into more manageable bites, asking for extra napkins, bringing our own little kid bowl/spoon/food/sippy cup, etc) and helping to clean up when things are clearly getting out of hand. We want to be welcomed back for future visits!
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
We'd like to get him used to eating at the same time as us. Having dinner together as a family was important to us as children, and we would like to continue that sentiment with our family. We don't want him to get in the habit of having his food in front of him as soon as he sits down, before we have our food, or to eating before we leave the house to go to dinner.livesoft wrote:We ate out in restaurants a lot before kids, with newborns, toddlers, and even now with college students. I suggest you observe what other kids and families are doing. I think you will find that folks with messy eaters do not go to restaurants or just let the kids eat Cheerios. Nothing should end up on the floor. Nothing.
You can take your kids, but feed them well beforehand. That way, they can simply entertain you and the other patrons with their shenadigans without the need to eat food themselves.
Maybe I am overstating the mess. It's not like a bowl of spaghetti exploded. The times we have gone, we cleaned up the table top and chair easily with a baby wipe and picked the larger pieces of food on the floor.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Yes, eating with one's kids is fun. This is the first year that both our kids are out of the house. We are often asked "Where are the kids?" by the hostess and waiters in our favorite restaurants. More fun is when the kids use their fake IDs to order margaritas.
Last edited by livesoft on Sun Nov 09, 2014 7:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
- nisiprius
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I don't have any answer for you. One thing to keep in mind is that what bothers other restaurant patrons is noise, not mess, so relax a bit.
So much depends on the restaurant, and it always bugged me that "family restaurants" never have really thought things through. Even when they were signaling "family" (booster seats, high chairs, crayons for the kids and placemats like coloring books) they would STILL bring drinks in tall, narrow glasses made of glass.
When our son was maybe three, he had the disconcerting habit of suddenly and for no apparent reason throwing up, with no warning (and little apparent distress). Happy, laughing, ooolp, happy laughing. He grew out of it quickly, thank goodness but we never quite felt we could ever go back to a restaurant where our kid had barfed on the table.
What can you do? Just take into account the fact that even adults do not leave a restaurant table perfectly clean. Cleaning tables is part of the waitstaff's legitimate job, they have to clean the table before they can seat more patrons, and if they can do it in the same time it always takes them, so what if they are using more towels? It is inconsiderate to give them a much bigger task than normal. So, I dunno, mop up the worst as best you can. If the kid has actually dropped an entire hot dog on the floor, pick it up and mop up the ketchup. If the waitstaff has to do more for you than they would for other patrons, then that's "extra service beyond the normal," isn't it, so they deserve a bigger tip.
"Family restaurants" ought to have table that are like very shallow sinks--1/4" smooth lip around the edge, slightly dished in shape, drain in the center, water nozzles like misting sprays at the edge. The "napkins" ought to be made of terrycloth a yard square. And drinks ought to be served in the kinds of cups they sell in nautical shops, inverted pyramids with weighted bases.
So much depends on the restaurant, and it always bugged me that "family restaurants" never have really thought things through. Even when they were signaling "family" (booster seats, high chairs, crayons for the kids and placemats like coloring books) they would STILL bring drinks in tall, narrow glasses made of glass.
When our son was maybe three, he had the disconcerting habit of suddenly and for no apparent reason throwing up, with no warning (and little apparent distress). Happy, laughing, ooolp, happy laughing. He grew out of it quickly, thank goodness but we never quite felt we could ever go back to a restaurant where our kid had barfed on the table.
What can you do? Just take into account the fact that even adults do not leave a restaurant table perfectly clean. Cleaning tables is part of the waitstaff's legitimate job, they have to clean the table before they can seat more patrons, and if they can do it in the same time it always takes them, so what if they are using more towels? It is inconsiderate to give them a much bigger task than normal. So, I dunno, mop up the worst as best you can. If the kid has actually dropped an entire hot dog on the floor, pick it up and mop up the ketchup. If the waitstaff has to do more for you than they would for other patrons, then that's "extra service beyond the normal," isn't it, so they deserve a bigger tip.
"Family restaurants" ought to have table that are like very shallow sinks--1/4" smooth lip around the edge, slightly dished in shape, drain in the center, water nozzles like misting sprays at the edge. The "napkins" ought to be made of terrycloth a yard square. And drinks ought to be served in the kinds of cups they sell in nautical shops, inverted pyramids with weighted bases.
Last edited by nisiprius on Sun Nov 09, 2014 7:29 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
When my daughter was that age, we really kept eating out to a minimum. I was a typical first time Father and between not sleeping that much and being new at this, I find new parents can be a bit on the sensitive side when it comes to their new bundle of joy. My daughter who is now 20 years old was a lot like your little guy. We were very lucky and she was very good at restaurants and due to that we really did not have any problems when we went. However, I was very paranoid that even when she started to squirm in a booth where people were sitting behind her I always tried to calm her down or on the rare occasion leave the restaurant.
I feel if the mess is excessive like it most likely is when leaving an 11 month old alone to have fun with their food, as a parent, it is definitely your responsibility to clean up their mess. I'm not saying to get down and scrub the floors, but definitely clean up the mess that was made.
I feel if the mess is excessive like it most likely is when leaving an 11 month old alone to have fun with their food, as a parent, it is definitely your responsibility to clean up their mess. I'm not saying to get down and scrub the floors, but definitely clean up the mess that was made.
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- just frank
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
You have discovered the difference between 'kid friendly' and 'not kid friendly' restaurants. You can tell by looking in the window when they are busy.
The former kind of restaurants make plenty of money serving harried parents of small children who are too tired to cook for themselves, and tired of take out.
In a kid friendly restaurant, leave a bigger tip if your child made a mess. Take Junior to the other places when (s)he is a little better with utensils.
The former kind of restaurants make plenty of money serving harried parents of small children who are too tired to cook for themselves, and tired of take out.
In a kid friendly restaurant, leave a bigger tip if your child made a mess. Take Junior to the other places when (s)he is a little better with utensils.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Well, sometimes it IS like a bowl of spaghetti exploded. Give it time.coalcracker wrote:We'd like to get him used to eating at the same time as us. Having dinner together as a family was important to us as children, and we would like to continue that sentiment with our family. We don't want him to get in the habit of having his food in front of him as soon as he sits down, before we have our food, or to eating before we leave the house to go to dinner.livesoft wrote:We ate out in restaurants a lot before kids, with newborns, toddlers, and even now with college students. I suggest you observe what other kids and families are doing. I think you will find that folks with messy eaters do not go to restaurants or just let the kids eat Cheerios. Nothing should end up on the floor. Nothing.
You can take your kids, but feed them well beforehand. That way, they can simply entertain you and the other patrons with their shenadigans without the need to eat food themselves.
Maybe I am overstating the mess. It's not like a bowl of spaghetti exploded. The times we have gone, we cleaned up the table top and chair easily with a baby wipe and picked the larger pieces of food on the floor.
On a more serious note, try taking it in stages, in terms of all aspects, from which type of restaurant, whether he gets some food immediately (and how much) or waits a bit (and how long).
It can go from some Cheerios (my goodness, that was our token food 40++ years ago; some things *never* change, except it has added sugar now, I think), to cut up (tiny) pieces of maybe a grilled cheese sandwich (or something else where the innards don't all fall out right away), to a treat like French fries (which can be good for trial and error fork use, too), etc.
Also stages of length of meal. Quick one course, fast-prepped food, etc., to slower paced, more "courses", as the little ones gain more control, and also get some praise for being like a "big boy/girl now", with a treat of some dessert if well behaved.
Over time, our children got "experiences" in a fast food place (like Denny's/etc., especially when traveling long distances), to the very posh (early on "birthday child" got a "special" dinner out with a parent), and as they got older the type of place changed.
Our goal was that they'd learn to look around, assess the situation, and "feel comfortable" in any restaurant, including learning about assorted flatware utensils (yes, the ultra posh - rare, but there were times later in their lives that it was useful in the sense that they *did* feel comfortable "anywhere").
And plastic dishes (a plate or bowl) with suction cup bottoms came in handy at the early stages.
And LOTS of wipes, always handy.
Memories...!
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Clean up behind yourself. I went out with a relative who's kids made an enormous mess, it was embarrassing, because they did nothing to contain it and it was not my place to correct it. I have seen to so many times a child that is misbehaving in various ways and a parent doing absolutely nothing to contain it. Even better when a parent is screaming no, stop, etc. and the child doesn't understand those words because they are never enforced. People that I know have better behaved children say you just don't go out to eat for the first two years of their lives. I guess you could justify not cleaning up if you tipped 2 to 3 times the normal amount. I live with a simple rule, don't be an A-hole. If I do or don't do something does it make me feel like an A-hole. We have a baby on the way and if I spent a considerable amount of time cleanup up while dining out I would stay home instead. I understand there will be times eating at home is not an option but some people dine out frequently with their little monsters.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
He's 11 months old -- giving him a non-messy snack at a restaurant for a year isn't going to ruin him for life from enjoying family meals!coalcracker wrote:
We'd like to get him used to eating at the same time as us. Having dinner together as a family was important to us as children, and we would like to continue that sentiment with our family. We don't want him to get in the habit of having his food in front of him as soon as he sits down, before we have our food, or to eating before we leave the house to go to dinner.
Maybe I am overstating the mess. It's not like a bowl of spaghetti exploded. The times we have gone, we cleaned up the table top and chair easily with a baby wipe and picked the larger pieces of food on the floor.
I do think you should clean up the mess, at least to the point where pieces of food are picked up off the table, seat, and floor and placed on a plate to easily discard and it would be great if you wiped down the seating area as a courtesy to the next customer. The waiters/bussers are busy and often won't wipe down seating unless they see that it is messy. I realize that some will say the restaurant staff is getting paid to clean up the mess -- but I prefer to be more respectful of other people.
Also realize some things that parents think are "cute" are "annoying" to others. As with many things in life self-awareness is key.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Great thread for parents! My youngest son is going to turn 20 in January but I remember the stress of eating out with 3 small children like it was yesterday.
I would suggest going to restaurants that are casual or known to be kid friendly/oriented.
When our kids left a big mess we cleaned it up about the same way most decent people clean up a hotel room before they check out - you don't do the maid's job but you don't (or at least we don't) leave extra work.
Also, the tip should compensate for the extra mess.
I would suggest going to restaurants that are casual or known to be kid friendly/oriented.
When our kids left a big mess we cleaned it up about the same way most decent people clean up a hotel room before they check out - you don't do the maid's job but you don't (or at least we don't) leave extra work.
Also, the tip should compensate for the extra mess.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Bring your own mini-tarp to put under the highchair. Clean up what you can, tip well for what you can't.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Clean up the very best you can - I think it is appreciated by the restaurant and the other guests. We also split duties - one of use eats first while the other feeds/watches/entertains our 16 month old. One of us ends up eating colder food - but that's fine. Clean up, tip nicely and like other said if the baby is acting up - do something so others are not annoyed. We generally go for a little walk, show her things in the restaurant. We also go to loud place - either family friendly or a noisy city restaurant.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Yeah, what is this. Since when were parents ignorable. I see this all the time in various venues.mike143 wrote:Clean up behind yourself. I went out with a relative who's kids made an enormous mess, it was embarrassing, because they did nothing to contain it and it was not my place to correct it. I have seen to so many times a child that is misbehaving in various ways and a parent doing absolutely nothing to contain it. Even better when a parent is screaming no, stop, etc. and the child doesn't understand those words because they are never enforced.
To the OP, I underestimated the mess. If stuff is winding up on the floor, you have to clean up all of it, not just the big pieces, otherwise someone can slip and fall.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I've got a 1 and a 2 year old. We limit ourselves to kid-friendly restaurants. Any place with a tablecloth is off limits. But we don't eat out often, maybe once a week on Saturday or Sunday for lunch. I generally clean up anything they dropped on the floor and give the table a quick wipe down with a napkin after it's cleared. But I'd do that anyways.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
We always clean up after our kids, ages 1 and 3. Although we don't go to fancy restaurants with them. Just Wendy's and such. But we still always pick the food up off the floor and off the table and wipe up any excessive messiness.
Edited to add: I just looked above at Kosmo's post and see we share pretty much the same sentiment.
Edited to add: I just looked above at Kosmo's post and see we share pretty much the same sentiment.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Limit the type of food to limit the mess. Clean up after the child as much as you can and, if it's something you can't sufficiently clean up, give a commensurately larger tip because your server will end up cleaning it up.
Kids can make a mess. I'm all for controlling it and being polite about it, but I'm sure your server (and the establishment) would rather you eat out than not.
JT
Kids can make a mess. I'm all for controlling it and being polite about it, but I'm sure your server (and the establishment) would rather you eat out than not.
JT
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
We were living in Europe when our eldest son was a year old in 1973. We would sometimes eat in small working-class bistros in Paris. The proprietors would put us in the back of the restaurant with the farmers and their dogs. I thought that was a great solution, and my son loved to watch the dogs. Too bad they don't have places like that anymore.coalcracker wrote:As a first time father of a now 11-month old, we have fully introduced solid foods and the little guy is really into feeding himself. While it relieves some of the burden of physically spoon feeding him, as all you parents know, the messiness factor increases by an order or magnitude. He is at the point where he is getting a bit headstrong about feeding himself, and will often resist being spoon fed. He has not mastered the spoon himself by a long shot.
We don't eat out quite as much as we used to, but he is a good eater and behaves fairly well, so we still go out quite a bit. We like to frequent more casual/bistro type places that are a bit noisier and cater more to families. White tablecloth, candlelit dinners are only for date nights at the moment.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
"The times we have gone, we cleaned up the table top and chair easily with a baby wipe and picked the larger pieces of food on the floor."
You answered your own question! Someone else correctly pointed out that the other diners are only concerned about noise, specifically a crying or loudly-vocalizing baby or young children running loose around the restaurant. Disturbances, not messes. It is really no more trouble for the wait staff to clean the table up after a baby, they have to wipe it anyway. What is aggravating to them is food on the floor, especially wet food as opposed to cracker crumbs.
There may be a stage where you don't enjoy dining out with the baby and would enjoy your meal more if you ate it at home. Shouldn't last long.
Some of my favorite childhood memories are from eating in better restaurants, ordering cherry coke and eating the cherries, having sorbet between courses, seafood and fingerbowls, as well as being allowed to have fast food on occasion.
You answered your own question! Someone else correctly pointed out that the other diners are only concerned about noise, specifically a crying or loudly-vocalizing baby or young children running loose around the restaurant. Disturbances, not messes. It is really no more trouble for the wait staff to clean the table up after a baby, they have to wipe it anyway. What is aggravating to them is food on the floor, especially wet food as opposed to cracker crumbs.
There may be a stage where you don't enjoy dining out with the baby and would enjoy your meal more if you ate it at home. Shouldn't last long.
Some of my favorite childhood memories are from eating in better restaurants, ordering cherry coke and eating the cherries, having sorbet between courses, seafood and fingerbowls, as well as being allowed to have fast food on occasion.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
As an experienced parent and grand parent of mess monsters
1) find out if they are really kid friendly, ask other parents. Our local Greek and Tex mex places are fantastic. They don't care
about anything on the floor. they bring out the mops and say its better than drunks.
2) eat dinner at off hours. We have a very nice local place that fawns over us at 5 pm.
3) If you don't have food with you when you walk in order something for the kid to come RIGHT NOW. Toast is always easy and fairly safe.
4) buckle the kid in the high chair. If they don't have the straps and buckles they don't want you
5) big tips help , a lot.
1) find out if they are really kid friendly, ask other parents. Our local Greek and Tex mex places are fantastic. They don't care
about anything on the floor. they bring out the mops and say its better than drunks.
2) eat dinner at off hours. We have a very nice local place that fawns over us at 5 pm.
3) If you don't have food with you when you walk in order something for the kid to come RIGHT NOW. Toast is always easy and fairly safe.
4) buckle the kid in the high chair. If they don't have the straps and buckles they don't want you
5) big tips help , a lot.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
We had a younger kid who was out of control. At restaurants he threw silverware, knocked things off the table. He made life very interesting. In the Chinese sense of the word.
When the kid was two, we spent Christmas in Waikiki. Two weeks of Hell. Our solution was, we carried the kid out of restaurants in shifts, so the other parent and the older kid could eat in peace. After awhile we got this down to a fine art. Kid would be picked up and carried out as SOON as he began his shenanigans. One afternoon he acted up on a city bus, yelling, screaming, scratching my wife's face. (She was holding him.)
By and by we exited the bus. Three days later, we got on ANOTHER city bus which by chance had the same driver. He looked at my wife (who was again holding the two-year-old -- lucky gal) and said, "Is he better now?"
Eventually the kid outgrew the bad attitude. But life was wild and crazy for about nine to twelve months.
When the kid was two, we spent Christmas in Waikiki. Two weeks of Hell. Our solution was, we carried the kid out of restaurants in shifts, so the other parent and the older kid could eat in peace. After awhile we got this down to a fine art. Kid would be picked up and carried out as SOON as he began his shenanigans. One afternoon he acted up on a city bus, yelling, screaming, scratching my wife's face. (She was holding him.)
By and by we exited the bus. Three days later, we got on ANOTHER city bus which by chance had the same driver. He looked at my wife (who was again holding the two-year-old -- lucky gal) and said, "Is he better now?"
Eventually the kid outgrew the bad attitude. But life was wild and crazy for about nine to twelve months.
Last edited by steve roy on Sun Nov 09, 2014 1:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I am the eldest of 5, and my parents took us out to restaurants regularly.
The high chair child(ren) were fed before we left the house, so they would be messing with cereal or other less liquid refreshment while the rest of the family ate restaurant food. The reason given was that restaurant food can be tough on tender stomaches, but maybe that was an excuse my mother used.
When traveling, and we all had to eat out, my father would carry in a newspaper. When they brought the highchair or booster chair, my parents would take over and put the newspaper down to protect the chair and/or floor.
If someone acted up, they were swept out of the restaurant and sat with a parent in the car until the remaining parent traded places so their meal could be finished. Most kids only pulled that stunt once or twice before deciding they were missing the entertainment of being in a special place. It must be stunning to sit alone in a car with a silent parent after the sensory overload of a new and busy space.
I remember the horrified looks when our family of 7 would walk in, and the kind surprise when we exited as well behaved patrons.
The high chair child(ren) were fed before we left the house, so they would be messing with cereal or other less liquid refreshment while the rest of the family ate restaurant food. The reason given was that restaurant food can be tough on tender stomaches, but maybe that was an excuse my mother used.
When traveling, and we all had to eat out, my father would carry in a newspaper. When they brought the highchair or booster chair, my parents would take over and put the newspaper down to protect the chair and/or floor.
If someone acted up, they were swept out of the restaurant and sat with a parent in the car until the remaining parent traded places so their meal could be finished. Most kids only pulled that stunt once or twice before deciding they were missing the entertainment of being in a special place. It must be stunning to sit alone in a car with a silent parent after the sensory overload of a new and busy space.
I remember the horrified looks when our family of 7 would walk in, and the kind surprise when we exited as well behaved patrons.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I try to clean-up my kids' mess the best I can--------then leave an extra big tip to the server.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Our daughter is 15 months old now, and she still has a tendency to throw food she doesn't want, as in she picks it up, looks us dead in the eye, and tosses it off to the side of her high chair table. We usually let her do that a couple times at home before we pull the food and put her down until she gets really hungry then allow her to try again. Foods include meat, eggs, noodles, veggies, cereal, etc, pretty much anything that can be cut down or is already bite-size.
Since she's been able to eat solid food, we've taken her out to Cracker Barrel, a couple Mexican restaurants, Red Lobster, Olive Garden, and she usually behaves as far as being loud goes, but she has thrown food from what we set in front of her. I try to pick it up as best I can out of respect for the wait staff. Most food that doesn't make it in ends up on her clothes. We do make the effort to pick up after ourselves. Only once has a wait staff shown disdain towards us for having a child with us as she knocked over one of our drinks - honestly, my wife sometimes expects more than she should from our daughter. They set us in the middle of the floor at a table during a very busy lunch which wasn't a great idea, and when the spill happened, no one offered us any help, and I had to go to the wait station myself to get extra napkins. Not sure if we'll ever go back there.
All in all, I would say most restaurants and their staff oblige parents with small children and understand you can't always find a sitter or leave them to fend for themselves. But it's a little uncouth to expect the wait staff to clean up a mess after a toddler simply because the parents wouldn't make the effort.
Since she's been able to eat solid food, we've taken her out to Cracker Barrel, a couple Mexican restaurants, Red Lobster, Olive Garden, and she usually behaves as far as being loud goes, but she has thrown food from what we set in front of her. I try to pick it up as best I can out of respect for the wait staff. Most food that doesn't make it in ends up on her clothes. We do make the effort to pick up after ourselves. Only once has a wait staff shown disdain towards us for having a child with us as she knocked over one of our drinks - honestly, my wife sometimes expects more than she should from our daughter. They set us in the middle of the floor at a table during a very busy lunch which wasn't a great idea, and when the spill happened, no one offered us any help, and I had to go to the wait station myself to get extra napkins. Not sure if we'll ever go back there.
All in all, I would say most restaurants and their staff oblige parents with small children and understand you can't always find a sitter or leave them to fend for themselves. But it's a little uncouth to expect the wait staff to clean up a mess after a toddler simply because the parents wouldn't make the effort.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
^Must bite lip.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Hire a babysitter and let the child make all the mess he/she wants at home. Seriously, the last thing I want at a restaurant when I am paying for my own meal is to be seated behind a child that is throwing food my way. Maybe I was lucky, but my children did/do not do that in a restaurant.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I try to pick up after my daughter and put the highchair away, although she usually doesn't make a huge mess. Going out to eat gets even more challenging when they get a bit older and all they want to do is roam around
Can you give you 11 month just a little food at a time and food that is easy to pick up with a napkin? Like bread instead of pasta, meatballs and marina sauce.
One question I have for the forum is are tips usually split amongst all the staff? Say you leave a huge tip on the receipt, will the busser get a portion of it?
Can you give you 11 month just a little food at a time and food that is easy to pick up with a napkin? Like bread instead of pasta, meatballs and marina sauce.
One question I have for the forum is are tips usually split amongst all the staff? Say you leave a huge tip on the receipt, will the busser get a portion of it?
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
yes you and your child did and your just don't remember I suggest you simply not eat at any restaurant that has high chairs.johnubc wrote:Hire a babysitter and let the child make all the mess he/she wants at home. Seriously, the last thing I want at a restaurant when I am paying for my own meal is to be seated behind a child that is throwing food my way. Maybe I was lucky, but my children did/do not do that in a restaurant.
People do travel with children
Last edited by Professor Emeritus on Mon Nov 10, 2014 8:39 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I have sometimes made a point of asking how to "take care of" whoever has to clean up. My favorite is to take a glass and put cash on the high chairThankYouJack wrote: One question I have for the forum is are tips usually split amongst all the staff? Say you leave a huge tip on the receipt, will the busser get a portion of it?
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I have three kids, the oldest is seven, the youngest is almost two.
We've had great meals out with the kids, we've had hellish ones. The biggest risk is when the kid is 12-36 months old. They can be angels and charm the wait staff out of cookies and treats... or they can be little devils and make you wish you never see the inside of another restaurant again. Our solution is to stop going to restaurants for a period until they demonstrate their restaurant manners at home. It's worked with our two older kids and our youngest is still learning. He loves eating out, so he's motivated to behave.
Do the best you can. Pick kid-friendly restaurants, keep the mess to a minimum, and try to have fun. Don't let the ninnies who think kids can only eat Cheerios or that they should be spoon fed get you down. My kids won't tolerate being fed "kid food" and that's fine with me. No mac and cheese or chicken nuggets for us.
PS - and everyone needs to remember that kids develop motor skills at different ages. What may seem like sloppiness or defiance might be a child trying really hard to eat and frustration at the trouble they are having. We ALL have good days and bad days.
We've had great meals out with the kids, we've had hellish ones. The biggest risk is when the kid is 12-36 months old. They can be angels and charm the wait staff out of cookies and treats... or they can be little devils and make you wish you never see the inside of another restaurant again. Our solution is to stop going to restaurants for a period until they demonstrate their restaurant manners at home. It's worked with our two older kids and our youngest is still learning. He loves eating out, so he's motivated to behave.
Do the best you can. Pick kid-friendly restaurants, keep the mess to a minimum, and try to have fun. Don't let the ninnies who think kids can only eat Cheerios or that they should be spoon fed get you down. My kids won't tolerate being fed "kid food" and that's fine with me. No mac and cheese or chicken nuggets for us.
PS - and everyone needs to remember that kids develop motor skills at different ages. What may seem like sloppiness or defiance might be a child trying really hard to eat and frustration at the trouble they are having. We ALL have good days and bad days.
An elephant for a dime is only a good deal if you need an elephant and have a dime.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Find a restaurant with kid-friendly food, which often is a fast food place, and
the food often does not require utensils.
Hamburgers, french fries. We found one that served french toast that looked like
large french fries and could be dipped. (Kids loved it.)
This did not ruin their eating habits, and we ate out infrequently. (Too much expense
and hassle over eating at home.)
When traveling, we often ate in the car. Peanut Butter sandwiches, granola bars
and baby carrots worked well
the food often does not require utensils.
Hamburgers, french fries. We found one that served french toast that looked like
large french fries and could be dipped. (Kids loved it.)
This did not ruin their eating habits, and we ate out infrequently. (Too much expense
and hassle over eating at home.)
When traveling, we often ate in the car. Peanut Butter sandwiches, granola bars
and baby carrots worked well
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Some people, and their kids, like to eat food that isn't fast food. Thai food, Vietnamese, sushi... eating with kids does not condemn a person to eating french fries. Kids can be very adventurous and creative when given the opportunity.
An elephant for a dime is only a good deal if you need an elephant and have a dime.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
OP here. Thanks everyone for the thoughtful responses and suggestions.bungalow10 wrote:Some people, and their kids, like to eat food that isn't fast food. Thai food, Vietnamese, sushi... eating with kids does not condemn a person to eating french fries. Kids can be very adventurous and creative when given the opportunity.
Nothing against fast food, I certainly ate enough of it in my childhood, but for our sake and our kid's sake we would like him to eat and enjoy a wife variety of foods. Last week we went out for Indian (we are not Indian), and along with rice and naan he had aloo gobi and tandoori chicken.
We don't want to get into the french fries and chicken fingers diet with him. I really believe the earlier you can introduce different food flavors, the less difficult it is. My wife grew up in a household that ate all kinds of foods, and believe it or not, so did she from a very young age. I, on the other hand, grew up eating bland meat and potatoes and was a very picky and unhealthy eater until well after college.
BTW, I would not take my son out if he were throwing food. His mess is the result of near misses of his mouth, and occasionally hiding some less desirable pieces of food on his high chair, so it mostly gets on him and sometimes the floor.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Your child is very lucky My experience has been ethnic restaurants are more much more family-friendly and welcome children... especially ones that enjoy their food.coalcracker wrote:OP here. Thanks everyone for the thoughtful responses and suggestions.bungalow10 wrote:Some people, and their kids, like to eat food that isn't fast food. Thai food, Vietnamese, sushi... eating with kids does not condemn a person to eating french fries. Kids can be very adventurous and creative when given the opportunity.
Nothing against fast food, I certainly ate enough of it in my childhood, but for our sake and our kid's sake we would like him to eat and enjoy a wife variety of foods. Last week we went out for Indian (we are not Indian), and along with rice and naan he had aloo gobi and tandoori chicken.
We don't want to get into the french fries and chicken fingers diet with him. I really believe the earlier you can introduce different food flavors, the less difficult it is. My wife grew up in a household that ate all kinds of foods, and believe it or not, so did she from a very young age. I, on the other hand, grew up eating bland meat and potatoes and was a very picky and unhealthy eater until well after college.
BTW, I would not take my son out if he were throwing food. His mess is the result of near misses of his mouth, and occasionally hiding some less desirable pieces of food on his high chair, so it mostly gets on him and sometimes the floor.
An elephant for a dime is only a good deal if you need an elephant and have a dime.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I was excited to read about your etiquette questions regarding a restaurant for messy babies. That woulda been fun.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I typically don't have cash on me, but I could if I want to do something similar. That doesn't guarantee it'll wind up in the right hands, but oh well. Has anyone worked in the business and knows how things are divided? Maybe it's all across the board and depends on the restaurant?Professor Emeritus wrote:I have sometimes made a point of asking how to "take care of" whoever has to clean up. My favorite is to take a glass and put cash on the high chairThankYouJack wrote: One question I have for the forum is are tips usually split amongst all the staff? Say you leave a huge tip on the receipt, will the busser get a portion of it?
coalcracker wrote:We can't give him a plate because it will go flying. Food typically gets smeared on the table, high-chair and floor. We plan to get some type of sticky placemat to help keep the tabletop a bit cleaner.
It's tough to get a feel for the situation because I thought he was throwing food after reading the OP. But if it's just near misses, he'll soon build up the dexterity where he won't be missing. If he's hiding food, just don't give him more of the food that he's hiding. If he's throwing plates and bowls, don't give him a bowl of red currycoalcracker wrote:
BTW, I would not take my son out if he were throwing food. His mess is the result of near misses of his mouth, and occasionally hiding some less desirable pieces of food on his high chair, so it mostly gets on him and sometimes the floor.
Seems like using common sense and some courtesy towards the staff is the way to go -- both of which you seem to be doing.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
If you have such a problem with people who eat out with their children who make messes, maybe you shouldn't eat out???livesoft wrote:^Must bite lip.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Uglystickrules - of my three kids, the older two were pretty well-behaved at restaurants. The third sometimes acts like you described in your first comment above. Sometimes it's more work to eat out with him than to stay home, but he's starting to learn to control his impulses. Hang in there, other parents feel your painuglystickrules wrote:If you have such a problem with people who eat out with their children who make messes, maybe you shouldn't eat out???livesoft wrote:^Must bite lip.
An elephant for a dime is only a good deal if you need an elephant and have a dime.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
We don't eat out very often because we hate to pay for overpriced meals that I can make at home. I'm a good cook (been told by many every time I brought food to a potluck event). I need to know every ingredient in my food and it's so hard to predict when dining out. Having said that, it's the restaurant job to clean up the mess if they allow children. I would tip well though. I am cheap but I have never tipped less than 30% when we eat out.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
1. Draw a 10 mile radius around your house.
2. Identify quality restaurants along this radius starting due north going clockwise
3. Over the next year or so, visit each restaurant only once.
By the time you work your way around the circle, either your kid will have grown up a lot and will not be trouble, or the restaurant will have forgotten about you and you can hit them again.
Every parent goes through this, it's just a part of life.
2. Identify quality restaurants along this radius starting due north going clockwise
3. Over the next year or so, visit each restaurant only once.
By the time you work your way around the circle, either your kid will have grown up a lot and will not be trouble, or the restaurant will have forgotten about you and you can hit them again.
Every parent goes through this, it's just a part of life.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Unfortunately, bussers & bartenders are usually tipped a flat percentage of a server's sales, not their actual tips. Your extra money is probably just going to the server.ThankYouJack wrote:I typically don't have cash on me, but I could if I want to do something similar. That doesn't guarantee it'll wind up in the right hands, but oh well. Has anyone worked in the business and knows how things are divided? Maybe it's all across the board and depends on the restaurant?Professor Emeritus wrote:I have sometimes made a point of asking how to "take care of" whoever has to clean up. My favorite is to take a glass and put cash on the high chairThankYouJack wrote: One question I have for the forum is are tips usually split amongst all the staff? Say you leave a huge tip on the receipt, will the busser get a portion of it?
Last edited by mlipps on Mon Nov 10, 2014 12:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
I mean, you know, I could go the Adrian Peterson way of dealing with a 15 month old that, you know, doesn't complete thoughts or sentences, or I could just have my wife cook for her every day and night while a child wanders into the kitchen or cries because she can't enter the kitchen without ever having someone else do the cooking....bungalow10 wrote:Uglystickrules - of my three kids, the older two were pretty well-behaved at restaurants. The third sometimes acts like you described in your first comment above. Sometimes it's more work to eat out with him than to stay home, but he's starting to learn to control his impulses. Hang in there, other parents feel your painuglystickrules wrote:If you have such a problem with people who eat out with their children who make messes, maybe you shouldn't eat out???livesoft wrote:^Must bite lip.
Yea, parenting is hard, people without kids or who have older kids and get to use selective memory and the distorting effects of hindsight are harder to understand having an opinion on this topic than a 15 month old trying to learn how to control themselves
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Really? God forbid people should expect to eat restaurant meals in quiet and pleasant surroundings. Why am I thinking it's your kids running around, yelling, and bumping into people's chairs?uglystickrules wrote:If you have such a problem with people who eat out with their children who make messes, maybe you shouldn't eat out???livesoft wrote:^Must bite lip.
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Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Going out to eat isn't a Rockwell painting. Chain restaurants as I described above are quiet and pleasant?lululu wrote:Really? God forbid people should expect to eat restaurant meals in quiet and pleasant surroundings. Why am I thinking it's your kids running around, yelling, and bumping into people's chairs?uglystickrules wrote:If you have such a problem with people who eat out with their children who make messes, maybe you shouldn't eat out???livesoft wrote:^Must bite lip.
Re: Messy baby restaurant etiquette
Leave bigger tips based on how messy your child make. You are basically paying the waiter/waitress to clean up the mess if you don't want to pick up after your child. I have a 3-year old.
C