Moving after retirement.
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Moving after retirement.
So one piece of advice I see a lot now that I'm planning my retirement is "move to a lower cost area".
Now the only experience I've had with this is 2 coworkers who did this and it turned out disastrously. So if you've done it successfully or know some one who has, what are your tips.
Here are my reasons for staying put.
1) Very close family. My entire family, from kids to inlaws live on the East Coast. mainly between DC and NY. Sure there are days when I want to set them on fire but I love them.
2) I love where I live now. I live in the Fairmont (art museum area) section of Philly. It's a vibrant, eclectic diverse area of town. all the usual pros. can walk darn near every where, excellent hospitals, universities, shopping yada yada yada. Every morning when I walk the dog before work, I say "man I love this neighborhood".
3) I know this sounds goofy but a social life is important. I am concerned that I won't make new friends. Hard to believe that's a concern at 55. LOL
Reasons for leaving.
1) Winters. it's amazing how the older I get, the less I like winter. I use to love the change in seasons.
2) Expensive. hey it's the northeast. My property taxes are pretty low right now because I have a 8 year property tax abatement.
So those who have done it,
1) what were the overriding reasons for relocating? did you check out the new area first?
2) how hard was the transition?
I'm a widow so I would not have that natural "partner" if I were making this move with my late husband.
Now the only experience I've had with this is 2 coworkers who did this and it turned out disastrously. So if you've done it successfully or know some one who has, what are your tips.
Here are my reasons for staying put.
1) Very close family. My entire family, from kids to inlaws live on the East Coast. mainly between DC and NY. Sure there are days when I want to set them on fire but I love them.
2) I love where I live now. I live in the Fairmont (art museum area) section of Philly. It's a vibrant, eclectic diverse area of town. all the usual pros. can walk darn near every where, excellent hospitals, universities, shopping yada yada yada. Every morning when I walk the dog before work, I say "man I love this neighborhood".
3) I know this sounds goofy but a social life is important. I am concerned that I won't make new friends. Hard to believe that's a concern at 55. LOL
Reasons for leaving.
1) Winters. it's amazing how the older I get, the less I like winter. I use to love the change in seasons.
2) Expensive. hey it's the northeast. My property taxes are pretty low right now because I have a 8 year property tax abatement.
So those who have done it,
1) what were the overriding reasons for relocating? did you check out the new area first?
2) how hard was the transition?
I'm a widow so I would not have that natural "partner" if I were making this move with my late husband.
"He who dies with the most toys is still, nonetheless dead"
Re: Moving after retirement.
What are your objectives? Enjoy your life or save money? If you can afford it, I think you should stay. You can always escape winter for a few weeks or months. We moved just after retirement to escape northern winters and now, 15 years later, I'll probably move back just to enjoy the energy and the activities you describe in a vibrant city.
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Re: Moving after retirement.
We seriously considered moving to another area upon retirement but abandoned those plans for several reasons. One, the real estate market was too unstable, at least for us, when I retired in 2010. We started remodeling our house and several years and about $60k later, our house is much better than it was. Secondly, we have lived in this area for 40+ years and have lots of friends and connections (church, doctors, etc) here. I am sure we could adapt wherever we went, but it seems we would be giving up a lot to do that. We may eventually move to another house in our area farther out in the suburbs, but we are pretty satisfied with this metro area.
- cheese_breath
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Re: Moving after retirement.
Not everyone moves when they retire. I didn't. You present a pretty compelling case for staying where you are if you can afford it. And if you can't afford to stay where you are all those reasons you give for not moving are Irrelevant.
The surest way to know the future is when it becomes the past.
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Re: Moving after retirement.
Ditto.... "Not everyone moves when they retire. I didn't."
As far as the cold goes; we spend a month or so in the Florida, Georgia area in the March time frame... Everyone is different....
Just my $0.02....
As far as the cold goes; we spend a month or so in the Florida, Georgia area in the March time frame... Everyone is different....
Just my $0.02....
9th Infantry Division LRRP (Ranger) |
1968-69
- fishnskiguy
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Re: Moving after retirement.
Stay. All our friends who have children chose to stay close to family. Those who did move, moved to be even closer.
Chris
Chris
Trident D-5 SLBM- "When you care enough to send the very best."
Re: Moving after retirement.
I can't imagine that relocating with the sole objective of moving to a low cost area would be very satisfying for many people. If your financial situation dictates that you must, well then I guess you would have to consider it. But otherwise different considerations should take a higher priority.
For a retirement move to be successful I think it would need to be motivated by factors such as the desire to be closer to family (or perhaps further away in some cases ), the desire to move to a different climate, the desire to move to an area with more/different recreational opportunities, and so on. If you can achieve your objectives and save some money along the way, well then that's a bonus.
There are any number of articles out there about how to go thru the process of deciding whether to move and if so where to relocate. TopRetirements is one place that has some helpful articles. City-Data and Sperling's Best Places are good sites to do basic research on the objective facts about different locations. Ultimately, there is no substitute for spending a good amount of time in your destination before committing to move. Most will recommend that you rent for a year in your new locale before making the commitment to purchase a home.
For the OP, it sounds to me that you have a good many reasons to stay where you are, and it that's what you want and your financial situation allows it then you probably would be happier to stay where you are.
We've been thru the process of deciding what we want to do, and will relocate from SoCal to north Idaho when I retire in a few years. In our case we wanted to move to a more rural location with an abundance of the outdoor recreational opportunities we enjoy, and we wanted to live somewhere with 4 real seasons (I know, kind of weird). We don't have children, and while moving closer to our families might have been a bonus, none of them live in the type of location where we would have been happy, so they will have to come visit us in paradise.
Dave
For a retirement move to be successful I think it would need to be motivated by factors such as the desire to be closer to family (or perhaps further away in some cases ), the desire to move to a different climate, the desire to move to an area with more/different recreational opportunities, and so on. If you can achieve your objectives and save some money along the way, well then that's a bonus.
There are any number of articles out there about how to go thru the process of deciding whether to move and if so where to relocate. TopRetirements is one place that has some helpful articles. City-Data and Sperling's Best Places are good sites to do basic research on the objective facts about different locations. Ultimately, there is no substitute for spending a good amount of time in your destination before committing to move. Most will recommend that you rent for a year in your new locale before making the commitment to purchase a home.
For the OP, it sounds to me that you have a good many reasons to stay where you are, and it that's what you want and your financial situation allows it then you probably would be happier to stay where you are.
We've been thru the process of deciding what we want to do, and will relocate from SoCal to north Idaho when I retire in a few years. In our case we wanted to move to a more rural location with an abundance of the outdoor recreational opportunities we enjoy, and we wanted to live somewhere with 4 real seasons (I know, kind of weird). We don't have children, and while moving closer to our families might have been a bonus, none of them live in the type of location where we would have been happy, so they will have to come visit us in paradise.
Dave
Dave
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Re: Moving after retirement.
+1You present a pretty compelling case for staying where you are if you can afford it.
In two weeks I am "retiring" (actually rehiring) and moving from the east coast to the west coast to live in a city that we have only visited. All together we have spent about 15 days in the new location. We don't have any family or friends there. However, we have always wanted to live in the downtown of a vibrant city and we chose Seattle. Our housing costs will increase significantly-our rent in Seattle is double our current mortgage payment-and if we buy total cost will likely be 3x our current cost. However, I think that is the price of living in a place that offers a lot. Where we currently live a typical Saturday morning consists of a couple of cups of coffee followed by several hours of "what do you want to do today? I don't know? What do you want to do?" It doesn't sound like you have that problem at your current location and I think that is worth a lot.
We have moved a lot due to the military. We moved 7 times since we were married 18 years ago. We always made friends (not related to the military) in our new neighborhoods. Some of those friends visited us at our new locations and we have friends to visit in other cities, so, I wouldn't let fear of not knowing anyone stop you.
My biggest concern would be moving to only reduce costs. If you love where you live and you can afford it although it is expensive I would stay put. I am not a big fan of the cold and can understand wanting to live someplace warmer. I am concerned about the long gray days and drizzle in Seattle but we plan on keeping some cash set aside for quick escapes to Hawaii, Mexico, SoCal or someplace sunny if we need some Vitamin D.
Good luck with you decision!
Re: Moving after retirement.
The advice to move to a lower-cost area after retirement is based on two reasons:
1. Many jobs are in high-cost areas and retirement liberates one from living there.
2, Some people are forced into retirement before they are financially ready for it, and a move enables them to afford it.
There are also some reasons to retire to high-cost areas:
1. High-cost cities have museums, theaters, lectures and other activities that a retiree can take advantage of.
2. Large cities have parks and street life, which are good for people watching and cross-generational mixing.
3. Large cities have large airports that facilitate travel in retirement.
4. Large cities have hospitals with a wide range of specialization, which is useful if a retiree has a rare medical condition.
5. One can live in a large city without needing to drive. When, eventually, one is not able to drive, she or he can still remain in their home and get around using public transportation.
Victoria
1. Many jobs are in high-cost areas and retirement liberates one from living there.
2, Some people are forced into retirement before they are financially ready for it, and a move enables them to afford it.
There are also some reasons to retire to high-cost areas:
1. High-cost cities have museums, theaters, lectures and other activities that a retiree can take advantage of.
2. Large cities have parks and street life, which are good for people watching and cross-generational mixing.
3. Large cities have large airports that facilitate travel in retirement.
4. Large cities have hospitals with a wide range of specialization, which is useful if a retiree has a rare medical condition.
5. One can live in a large city without needing to drive. When, eventually, one is not able to drive, she or he can still remain in their home and get around using public transportation.
Victoria
Inventor of the Bogleheads Secret Handshake |
Winner of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. |
Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)
Re: Moving after retirement.
I retired three months ago and In three weeks we are moving from Chicago to Mesa, AZ.
If I were you....I would stay right where you are! For the last few years I have thought long and hard about both retirement and relocation. After these many months of considerations I reached a few clear points.
1. It's all about immediate family. We could never move away from our children or grandchildren. My brothers, my sister-in-law's, about 25 nieces and nephews of every age, a few cousins, lots of good friends, well, they can visit me in Arizona. My kids, and thereby my grandchildren, have no interest in the Midwest, or Northern Illinois.
#2+#3+#4. Refer to #1.
Now we can consider everything else. I'm done with the upper Midwest winter. I'm moving to 305 sunny days a year. This will likely be our final HUGE lifetime adventure. We've sold the house, 95% all of our furniture, landscaping hardware, and winter coats, mittens, and all stocking caps.
We are excited about the new place we purchased in a 55+ gated community. Buying new stuff, meeting and making new friends, hooking up with a few volunteer organizations, all sound to us like fun.
Back to #1. If my children and grandchildren lived and worked in Northern Illinois I would blow off all of those things I just said about Arizona....... And buy a bigger snowblower.
If I were you....I would stay right where you are! For the last few years I have thought long and hard about both retirement and relocation. After these many months of considerations I reached a few clear points.
1. It's all about immediate family. We could never move away from our children or grandchildren. My brothers, my sister-in-law's, about 25 nieces and nephews of every age, a few cousins, lots of good friends, well, they can visit me in Arizona. My kids, and thereby my grandchildren, have no interest in the Midwest, or Northern Illinois.
#2+#3+#4. Refer to #1.
Now we can consider everything else. I'm done with the upper Midwest winter. I'm moving to 305 sunny days a year. This will likely be our final HUGE lifetime adventure. We've sold the house, 95% all of our furniture, landscaping hardware, and winter coats, mittens, and all stocking caps.
We are excited about the new place we purchased in a 55+ gated community. Buying new stuff, meeting and making new friends, hooking up with a few volunteer organizations, all sound to us like fun.
Back to #1. If my children and grandchildren lived and worked in Northern Illinois I would blow off all of those things I just said about Arizona....... And buy a bigger snowblower.
Easy does it/Live & Let Live/One day at a time. Thanks Bill.
Re: Moving after retirement.
You might be in the right city, but are you in the right house? What happens in 15 or 20 years when you aren't as spry as you are now? If what you have now is a two story house with a large yard and long driveway, then maybe you should consider moving to a one story house or condominium where someone else does the gardening and the driveway shoveling. You might end up making some money on the switch and making the move now is much better than making it when you absolutely have to.
- Cut-Throat
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Re: Moving after retirement.
Yes, I also think you should stay where you're at, if you like it. I also hate winter, but stay in Florida or the Bahamas or elsewhere in the Caribbean every winter. It costs a bit more, but you get what you pay for. Also, no place is perfect so being a snowbird may be the best of both worlds.
Re: Moving after retirement.
We moved from North Jersey (very high COL and extremely high RE tax) to coastal Carolina (low cost, generally a retirement community but NBO....new term you will learn....Not By Ordinance). Good move, we came 8 years ago. But you should consider something no one has mentioned. We did it as a couple, it is much
different for a single especially a female.
I am amazed at how married women look at a single woman who appears on the social scene in a retirement area. She is looked at as a lone wolf, a cougar. If she arrived as part of a couple and is now a widow, that's OK but if she arrived as a single...she is a cougar.
Women live longer than men...a new man with a car and a pension is fresh meat; a woman is a cougar
If I were a woman with strong social connections in her present situation, I would think twice about moving into a retirement area. Definitely rent first before you buy and move......Gordon
different for a single especially a female.
I am amazed at how married women look at a single woman who appears on the social scene in a retirement area. She is looked at as a lone wolf, a cougar. If she arrived as part of a couple and is now a widow, that's OK but if she arrived as a single...she is a cougar.
Women live longer than men...a new man with a car and a pension is fresh meat; a woman is a cougar
If I were a woman with strong social connections in her present situation, I would think twice about moving into a retirement area. Definitely rent first before you buy and move......Gordon
Disciple of John Neff
Re: Moving after retirement.
..............
Last edited by HueyLD on Sat Feb 07, 2015 2:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Moving after retirement.
It sounds like you would be crazy to move unless you were in a dire financial situation, and even then you might be able to move to a less expensive nearby house or apartment.Here are my reasons for staying put.
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Re: Moving after retirement.
I would travel to certain areas for a week or two at a time first. See if a compelling pull develops that makes you want to move there...
Attempted new signature...
Re: Moving after retirement.
For reasons too numerous to expound upon, my advice is to RENT first.
You can rent a condo for a couple of months in Florida, or wherever your snowbird wings desire to fly much cheaper than owning. Renting also gives you the option to try different places for a few years and see what appeals to you.
You can rent a condo for a couple of months in Florida, or wherever your snowbird wings desire to fly much cheaper than owning. Renting also gives you the option to try different places for a few years and see what appeals to you.
Re: Moving after retirement.
I used to live in NW PA and got tired of the long, gray winters. I was afraid I would fall and break a hip when older, too. That seems to do in a lot of older women. So, ten years ago, I changed employers and moved to NC not far from the coast. I recently retired. The cost of living where I am is much less than in my prior PA location. I attribute that to better weather for more of the year as one of the bigger factors. My property taxes are $1,500/year with no age adjustment yet.
I am a single person. I did not find the transition at all difficult, as I moved a lot when younger and have remained fairly adaptable.
I plan to stay here for the foreseeable future, assuming my health remains good enough to permit me to take care of my house and yard. I am about twelve miles from town. I still drive, as I am only 62, but transportation is a concern for when I can no longer do so. There are not regular buses, but one can call a local transportation to arrange for doctor visits, etc. Also, the city seems to be moving out towards me.
While the summers can be hot and humid, this year has been excellent for the most part. Mostly, I stay indoors during the hottest hours of the day and that suffices. I do not miss the gray overcast of northern winters or shoveling/scraping ice and snow. The OP seems like city person who loves where she is, so she would probably do better to stay if finances permit. I, on the other hand, love to sit on the back porch and watch the deer in the fields behind me and the Canada geese land there when they migrate. I am about an hour from the beach and an hour from a large city. My local town has a good hospital, too.
My family are about nine hours away. I have not ruled out moving again at an older age when I am less mobile, though. But where, I don't know yet. Mr Larimore is a good example to emulate. May we all be so active and engaged!
I am a single person. I did not find the transition at all difficult, as I moved a lot when younger and have remained fairly adaptable.
I plan to stay here for the foreseeable future, assuming my health remains good enough to permit me to take care of my house and yard. I am about twelve miles from town. I still drive, as I am only 62, but transportation is a concern for when I can no longer do so. There are not regular buses, but one can call a local transportation to arrange for doctor visits, etc. Also, the city seems to be moving out towards me.
While the summers can be hot and humid, this year has been excellent for the most part. Mostly, I stay indoors during the hottest hours of the day and that suffices. I do not miss the gray overcast of northern winters or shoveling/scraping ice and snow. The OP seems like city person who loves where she is, so she would probably do better to stay if finances permit. I, on the other hand, love to sit on the back porch and watch the deer in the fields behind me and the Canada geese land there when they migrate. I am about an hour from the beach and an hour from a large city. My local town has a good hospital, too.
My family are about nine hours away. I have not ruled out moving again at an older age when I am less mobile, though. But where, I don't know yet. Mr Larimore is a good example to emulate. May we all be so active and engaged!
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Re: Moving after retirement.
I am in the process of moving from Chicagoland to the Tucson, AZ area. We had no hesitation in making the move.
1) We lived in the Chicagoland area to advance our careers and have NO connection go the area.
2) I am growing convinced that family members will be more likely to visit in AZ than IL.
3) The climate is healthier for me as we spend most of our spare time hiking in the mountains. We figure that we can pursue outdoor activities nearly everyday.
4) COL is much lower.
5) Low cost cities have pretty much the same broad varieties of cultural activities, parks, medical facilities, etc. generally at a price where the entire population can afford them.
6) We like the total LACK of congestion. Where I am living, four cars at a traffic light is considered a traffic jam. I have been in Chicagoland this week and it is amazing how many times you have to wait for 2-3 cycle of lights to get through a single intersection.
I agree with BUSTOFF. Rent for a couple months first to see if you like the community.
1) We lived in the Chicagoland area to advance our careers and have NO connection go the area.
2) I am growing convinced that family members will be more likely to visit in AZ than IL.
3) The climate is healthier for me as we spend most of our spare time hiking in the mountains. We figure that we can pursue outdoor activities nearly everyday.
4) COL is much lower.
5) Low cost cities have pretty much the same broad varieties of cultural activities, parks, medical facilities, etc. generally at a price where the entire population can afford them.
6) We like the total LACK of congestion. Where I am living, four cars at a traffic light is considered a traffic jam. I have been in Chicagoland this week and it is amazing how many times you have to wait for 2-3 cycle of lights to get through a single intersection.
I agree with BUSTOFF. Rent for a couple months first to see if you like the community.
Re: Moving after retirement.
Is this typical of retirement communities?gwrvmd wrote:We moved from North Jersey (very high COL and extremely high RE tax) to coastal Carolina (low cost, generally a retirement community but NBO....new term you will learn....Not By Ordinance). Good move, we came 8 years ago. But you should consider something no one has mentioned. We did it as a couple, it is much
different for a single especially a female.
I am amazed at how married women look at a single woman who appears on the social scene in a retirement area. She is looked at as a lone wolf, a cougar. If she arrived as part of a couple and is now a widow, that's OK but if she arrived as a single...she is a cougar.
Women live longer than men...a new man with a car and a pension is fresh meat; a woman is a cougar
If I were a woman with strong social connections in her present situation, I would think twice about moving into a retirement area. Definitely rent first before you buy and move......Gordon
I will be using free time in retirement to enhance my knowledge of behavioral economics and self-study of neuroscience. Are lectures and meetups on these and related topics a part of the "social scene"?
Victoria
Inventor of the Bogleheads Secret Handshake |
Winner of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. |
Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)
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Re: Moving after retirement.
Im amazed at how married women look at a single woman who appears on the social scene in a retirement area. She is looked at as a lone wolf, a cougar. If she arrived as part of a couple and is now a widow, that's OK but if she arrived as a single...she is a cougar.
Women live longer than men...a new man with a car and a pension is fresh meat; a woman is a cougar
If I were a woman with strong social connections in her present situation, I would think twice about moving into a retirement area. Definitely rent first before you buy and mov
Another reminder to be very careful about where to retire. I think an artsy hippie town would be a much better fit for me than some kind of nasty, competitive community with a social pecking order.
BFG
Women live longer than men...a new man with a car and a pension is fresh meat; a woman is a cougar
If I were a woman with strong social connections in her present situation, I would think twice about moving into a retirement area. Definitely rent first before you buy and mov
Another reminder to be very careful about where to retire. I think an artsy hippie town would be a much better fit for me than some kind of nasty, competitive community with a social pecking order.
BFG
How many retired people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he takes all day.
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Re: Moving after retirement.
We are moving to Hilton Head as soon as we can sell our condo. Why? It's too damn cold in Wisconsin; almost all of our families are on the east coast: spouse and I grew up in states on the ocean (NJ and MA) and we we want to spend the rest of the time allotted to us near the beach.
Re: Moving after retirement.
This is an excellent point. My parents lived in a 3 story house with no bedrooms on the main floor. Fortunately, they recognized the need for a change, and relocated to a single story home early in their retirement. They moved about 40 miles away, but in the same state. My mom now has Parkinsons, and it would have been difficult for them if they hadn't moved when they did. Not only did they avoid the stress of moving when they were older, but they've had time to build a new network of friends in their new location.ourbrooks wrote:You might be in the right city, but are you in the right house? What happens in 15 or 20 years when you aren't as spry as you are now? If what you have now is a two story house with a large yard and long driveway, then maybe you should consider moving to a one story house or condominium where someone else does the gardening and the driveway shoveling. You might end up making some money on the switch and making the move now is much better than making it when you absolutely have to.
Dave
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Consider Virginia
Consider moving to Virginia.
Still close to family.
Milder winters.
Maybe lower taxes. You need to really investigate ALL the taxes & fees.
Consider staying in the same neighborhood in Philly.
Different, lower cost, house.
Different, more universal design, to accommodate the older body.
Still close to family.
Milder winters.
Maybe lower taxes. You need to really investigate ALL the taxes & fees.
Consider staying in the same neighborhood in Philly.
Different, lower cost, house.
Different, more universal design, to accommodate the older body.
A nerd living in Denver
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Re: Moving after retirement.
If you can afford to live where you live now, I would not move.
As to winter, find a dependable person or company to shovel your walks and plow your driveway, assuming you have a driveway. This is a big factor for me. Get your groceries delivered by peapod or whatever. As others have suggested, take a winter holiday to a warmer area, maybe a different one each year.
As to winter, find a dependable person or company to shovel your walks and plow your driveway, assuming you have a driveway. This is a big factor for me. Get your groceries delivered by peapod or whatever. As others have suggested, take a winter holiday to a warmer area, maybe a different one each year.
Re: Moving after retirement.
Retiring can be quite a transition in itself. I retired this year and moved right away to a lower cost of living area in the south from a HCOL area. In our case, we had no ties to the HCOL area (only there for 3 years for work), didn't like it, and had family in the lower cost of living area, so it made sense, but if I'd had the choice to retire first, get used to it, then move later, I think that would have been smarter. I notice that most people who post here about retirement seem to be loving it, but many people (including me) do have a bumpy transition so separating the two events gives you a chance to adjust to each. Also, this may not apply to you, but some people do find they've retired a little too soon and want to go back to work for a while, either full- or part-time. Staying in the area where you have work contacts can make a difference for that if your work doesn't lend itself to working from home.
In our case, we could have moved a little further south into Florida and saved a few hundred dollars a month in state taxes, but being within a few minutes of family was worth more. If you're already in that situation, I wouldn't move away from them. It's not that hard to set up a new social circle in a new place, but are those people who will be there for you when you need them...or vice versa?
Some food for thought: The red state/blue state thing can be very real depending on where you move, particularly if you're moving from a large urban area to a smaller town, and who you are. Especially if you're on your own, it can be harder to fit in if you feel very differently than your neighbors do about things like religion/politics/food, etc. You can always find your place anywhere; it may just take longer and feel a little isolating at first.
I personally would not move in your circumstances.
In our case, we could have moved a little further south into Florida and saved a few hundred dollars a month in state taxes, but being within a few minutes of family was worth more. If you're already in that situation, I wouldn't move away from them. It's not that hard to set up a new social circle in a new place, but are those people who will be there for you when you need them...or vice versa?
Some food for thought: The red state/blue state thing can be very real depending on where you move, particularly if you're moving from a large urban area to a smaller town, and who you are. Especially if you're on your own, it can be harder to fit in if you feel very differently than your neighbors do about things like religion/politics/food, etc. You can always find your place anywhere; it may just take longer and feel a little isolating at first.
I personally would not move in your circumstances.
Re: Moving after retirement.
This thread is now in the Personal Consumer Issues forum (where to live).
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Re: Moving after retirement.
I've seen this type of thing when the women in the group have led or are leading old style traditional lives. I do not see it among my friends where women have or have had careers. It's some sort of insecurity, I think, or inability to grasp that not all women center their lives around attaching some man.Barefootgirl wrote:Im amazed at how married women look at a single woman who appears on the social scene in a retirement area. She is looked at as a lone wolf, a cougar. If she arrived as part of a couple and is now a widow, that's OK but if she arrived as a single...she is a cougar.
Women live longer than men...a new man with a car and a pension is fresh meat; a woman is a cougar
If I were a woman with strong social connections in her present situation, I would think twice about moving into a retirement area. Definitely rent first before you buy and mov
Another reminder to be very careful about where to retire. I think an artsy hippie town would be a much better fit for me than some kind of nasty, competitive community with a social pecking order.
BFG
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- Posts: 2519
- Joined: Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:05 pm
Re: Moving after retirement.
As I was thinking about this afterwards, the same occurred to me, that these must be people who are a lot older than I am. There are many women, self included - who need to be just as careful about running into unscrupulous paramours, lol - in my generation, you are just as likely to meet women with good pensions and big nest eggs. The joke I hear is to avoid men seeking a nurse or a purse .
All that aside, it does bring up a point about retirement communities...if you're a person who's lived in urban and diverse areas, it may be hard to fit into a community of groupthink.
BFG
All that aside, it does bring up a point about retirement communities...if you're a person who's lived in urban and diverse areas, it may be hard to fit into a community of groupthink.
BFG
How many retired people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he takes all day.
Re: Moving after retirement.
These paramours probably have a better chance with rich widows. I can't see what they can possibly offer to professional women.Barefootgirl wrote:As I was thinking about this afterwards, the same occurred to me, that these must be people who are a lot older than I am. There are many women, self included - who need to be just as careful about running into unscrupulous paramours, lol - in my generation, you are just as likely to meet women with good pensions and big nest eggs. The joke I hear is to avoid men seeking a nurse or a purse .
Perhaps, baby boomers will redefine retirement communities? Anyway, I agree with you that it's important to look carefully before moving.Barefootgirl wrote:All that aside, it does bring up a point about retirement communities...if you're a person who's lived in urban and diverse areas, it may be hard to fit into a community of groupthink.
Victoria
Inventor of the Bogleheads Secret Handshake |
Winner of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. |
Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)
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- Posts: 2094
- Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:18 pm
Re: Moving after retirement.
It's quite annoying, especially when it's the men who think you just must be "after them." It's generally the not if he were the last man on the planet types who think this. Ick.
Re: Moving after retirement.
You really don't want to move, read between the lines. The main thing you are looking for is a social life. Moving doesn't change that. In fact, moving makes it harder.camptalcott wrote:Here are my reasons for staying put.
1) Very close family. My entire family, from kids to inlaws live on the East Coast. mainly between DC and NY. Sure there are days when I want to set them on fire but I love them.
2) I love where I live now. I live in the Fairmont (art museum area) section of Philly. It's a vibrant, eclectic diverse area of town. all the usual pros. can walk darn near every where, excellent hospitals, universities, shopping yada yada yada. Every morning when I walk the dog before work, I say "man I love this neighborhood".
3) I know this sounds goofy but a social life is important. I am concerned that I won't make new friends. Hard to believe that's a concern at 55. LOL
Reasons for leaving.
1) Winters. it's amazing how the older I get, the less I like winter. I use to love the change in seasons.
2) Expensive. hey it's the northeast. My property taxes are pretty low right now because I have a 8 year property tax abatement.
I think you're missing out on one of the easiest ways to meet new people. Volunteer your time. You live in Philly (so do I, it's my home), so here are a few suggestions for someone living in Fairmont:
- Philadelphia Museum of Art - Volunteering
- Volunteer | The Franklin Institute
- Southeastern Pennsylvania | American Red Cross (main office: 22nd & Chestnut)
- Every hospital needs volunteers
- YMCA, schools, etc.
What do you like to do? Someone will need your expertise. It's the common interests which brings people together. If you choose to do so, you can talk to the others in your volunteer group. Perhaps you'll find a few relationships to build on and make new friends.
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- Posts: 241
- Joined: Wed Jul 23, 2014 4:45 pm
- Location: Philadelphia PA
Re: Moving after retirement.
Lol, thanks all.
I'm chuckling over the man hungry train of thought. Although in a way it's a bit sad.
Anyhow. I'm a recent widow (a little over a year) so believe me, hooking up is the last thing on my mind.
I'm still five years away from retiring and can definitely afford to stay in philly, although previous poster definitely have a point about finding the right house. My house is a 3 floor brownstone with a roof top deck. Will not want to climb steps forever.
I'm only 55 now so even when I retire from my full time gig, I definitely want to do some thing.
Thanks for the different views and pearls of wisdom
I'm chuckling over the man hungry train of thought. Although in a way it's a bit sad.
Anyhow. I'm a recent widow (a little over a year) so believe me, hooking up is the last thing on my mind.
I'm still five years away from retiring and can definitely afford to stay in philly, although previous poster definitely have a point about finding the right house. My house is a 3 floor brownstone with a roof top deck. Will not want to climb steps forever.
I'm only 55 now so even when I retire from my full time gig, I definitely want to do some thing.
Thanks for the different views and pearls of wisdom
"He who dies with the most toys is still, nonetheless dead"
- dodecahedron
- Posts: 6607
- Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:28 am
Re: Moving after retirement.
Great thread, camptalcott. As a recent widow myself in the northeast as well (in my case Upstate NY--with its winters even more bitter than yours and public transit/walkability far worse), I have given a good deal of thought to this topic as well. Like you, hooking up is the last thing on my mind.camptalcott wrote:Lol, thanks all.
I'm chuckling over the man hungry train of thought. Although in a way it's a bit sad.
Anyhow. I'm a recent widow (a little over a year) so believe me, hooking up is the last thing on my mind.
I'm still five years away from retiring and can definitely afford to stay in philly, although previous poster definitely have a point about finding the right house. My house is a 3 floor brownstone with a roof top deck. Will not want to climb steps forever.
I'm only 55 now so even when I retire from my full time gig, I definitely want to do some thing.
Thanks for the different views and pearls of wisdom
For now, I am staying put (simply because it is too soon after my husband's death to consider any really huge radical moves), and I am in great health and love all the things I do here (work as well community volunteer stuff), but I do think a lot about this topic. Summers are delightful here but winters are tough and very long, with spring and fall all too short and fleeting. My house is way too big and will be a growing challenge to maintain as I get older, not to mention that it is really unsuitable for aging in place (too many steps, both indoors and out) and would require a lot of work to make accessible if I have future mobility issues. Public transit is awful, which is not an issue now but will be when I lose my abilities to drive safely. I have widowed aunts and great-aunts who have flourished living in coops or condos in big cities on the east coast, because those places are so walkable and have great public transit and taxis (and now there is Uber!) Cabs here are rather dreadful and mostly patronized by those who live in the most unsafe parts of the area (and since cab drivers freely double or triple up passengers, you can get picked up at your home and involuntarily dragged around through several dropoffs or pickups in these unfortunate neighborhoods before you get dropped off at your destination.) I am hoping for driverless cars to appear on the scene before I lose my driving abilities!
So having said all that, I think for you staying put in Philly sounds great! Walkable city with good public transit and great cultural opportunities, short winters, not far from the beach, not far from the mountains, an easy day trip on Amtrak to the Big Apple or DC. And Boglehead gatherings right in your backyard every fall!
- JMacDonald
- Posts: 2386
- Joined: Mon Feb 19, 2007 4:53 pm
Re: Moving after retirement.
When you retire, just become a snow bird for the worst part of winter.
You may find somewhere else to live that is less expensive, but you will have to give up a lot to live in one of those areas.
You may find somewhere else to live that is less expensive, but you will have to give up a lot to live in one of those areas.
Best Wishes, |
Joe
- dodecahedron
- Posts: 6607
- Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:28 am
Re: Moving after retirement.
The only thing about being a snowbird is that I find it hard to fully relax worrying about the pipes freezing or breakins back home, but that's another argument for trading in the big house for an urban condo or apartment. My elderly widowed relatives who lived in nice apartments or condos (with doormen and custodial services watching out for the building) were able to travel for extended periods without such cares.JMacDonald wrote:When you retire, just become a snow bird for the worst part of winter.
You may find somewhere else to live that is less expensive, but you will have to give up a lot to live in one of those areas.
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- Posts: 2094
- Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:18 pm
Re: Moving after retirement.
In my area, there is a very dependable guy who checks on houses when people are away, will drive people to appointments (there is zero cab service and public transportation in my area), take care of chores like picking up a car at the mechanic's and driving it home and so on. He has never missed an appointment with me. He also does the snow plowing and shoveling in the winter. He has a couple of relatives who handle stuff when he is booked up.
However it is slightly nervous-making that I'm dependent on one source for this type of important stuff. And I imagine the country is not full of dependable services like this.
Where I lived before I was very good friends with my next door neighbors, and we kept an eye on each others houses during vacations and had keys to check on things.
However it is slightly nervous-making that I'm dependent on one source for this type of important stuff. And I imagine the country is not full of dependable services like this.
Where I lived before I was very good friends with my next door neighbors, and we kept an eye on each others houses during vacations and had keys to check on things.
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- Posts: 1908
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2013 12:34 am
- Location: Southern AZ
Re: Moving after retirement.
dodecahedron wrote:The only thing about being a snowbird is that I find it hard to fully relax worrying about the pipes freezing or breakins back home, but that's another argument for trading in the big house for an urban condo or apartment. My elderly widowed relatives who lived in nice apartments or condos (with doormen and custodial services watching out for the building) were able to travel for extended periods without such cares.JMacDonald wrote:When you retire, just become a snow bird for the worst part of winter.
You may find somewhere else to live that is less expensive, but you will have to give up a lot to live in one of those areas.
We have one f our neighbors watch the house while we are gone in the winter. In return, we keep an eye on his place while he is gone in the summer. It works out pretty well.
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Re: Moving after retirement.
I have family in upstate NY and would love to spend summers with them, but don't want to live with them :0 - but I am hesitant to purchase any property there. While it's cheap, the property taxes and utilities seem prohibitive and then there is the issue of repairs in the spring. They might be joking with me, but some have said that cemetery plots there are subjected to property taxes, lol.
BFG
BFG
How many retired people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he takes all day.
Re: Moving after retirement.
I am about to retire, and we are having a hard time with this decision.
1. We live in the upper midwest. Sick of frigid winters. Bored living halfway between two oceans. I grew up on W. Coast but haven't lived there for 50 years! But most of my relatives are strewn up and down the coast, from La Jolla in the south to Vancouver BC, and places in between (L.A., S.F., Oakland, Seattle). My wife has few surviving relatives, so this isn't determining.
2. Our kids live in NYC. The key for us is to be either in a place that would allow us to see the kids, or a place to which the kids would be likely to visit us!
3. We are considering relocating close to kids, or to major cities that we have some comfort with, ranging from Portland, OR (PDX) to Chicago (yes cold, but Victoria gave good reasons to like large cities). Of places we've mentioned to them, they respond positively to Chicago and PDX as well as to Hudson Valley (where my wife grew up but has no relatives any more). The last would make it easy for us to take train to NYC in 60-90 minutes.
4. Type of housing is a factor. We may consider continuous living (continuous care) community, as opposed to an "age 55+" community. But in any case a condo and not a self-standing house.
5. Costs are a factor but not determining for the most part. For most places the taxes would be higher than where we now live, in part because of certain exemptions that I have on my pension income if we stay where we are.
6. Conclusion -- I will continue to read this discussion!
1. We live in the upper midwest. Sick of frigid winters. Bored living halfway between two oceans. I grew up on W. Coast but haven't lived there for 50 years! But most of my relatives are strewn up and down the coast, from La Jolla in the south to Vancouver BC, and places in between (L.A., S.F., Oakland, Seattle). My wife has few surviving relatives, so this isn't determining.
2. Our kids live in NYC. The key for us is to be either in a place that would allow us to see the kids, or a place to which the kids would be likely to visit us!
3. We are considering relocating close to kids, or to major cities that we have some comfort with, ranging from Portland, OR (PDX) to Chicago (yes cold, but Victoria gave good reasons to like large cities). Of places we've mentioned to them, they respond positively to Chicago and PDX as well as to Hudson Valley (where my wife grew up but has no relatives any more). The last would make it easy for us to take train to NYC in 60-90 minutes.
4. Type of housing is a factor. We may consider continuous living (continuous care) community, as opposed to an "age 55+" community. But in any case a condo and not a self-standing house.
5. Costs are a factor but not determining for the most part. For most places the taxes would be higher than where we now live, in part because of certain exemptions that I have on my pension income if we stay where we are.
6. Conclusion -- I will continue to read this discussion!
Re: Moving after retirement.
PA is usually considered to be a retirement-friendly state, especially for taxes.
http://www.kiplinger.com/tool/retiremen ... nnsylvania
Property taxes can range from reasonable to ridiculous, so that might be something to think about.
The lottery also funds many benefits for senior citizens that aren't always available in other states.
So you've got that stuff going for you!
http://www.kiplinger.com/tool/retiremen ... nnsylvania
Property taxes can range from reasonable to ridiculous, so that might be something to think about.
The lottery also funds many benefits for senior citizens that aren't always available in other states.
So you've got that stuff going for you!
Time is what we want most, but what we use worst. William Penn
Re: Moving after retirement.
No property tax on grave sites. Owned two for 25 years and received no billsBarefootgirl wrote:I have family in upstate NY and would love to spend summers with them, but don't want to live with them :0 - but I am hesitant to purchase any property there. While it's cheap, the property taxes and utilities seem prohibitive and then there is the issue of repairs in the spring. They might be joking with me, but some have said that cemetery plots there are subjected to property taxes, lol.
BFG
All the Best, |
Joe
Re: Moving after retirement.
The bills are awarded posthumously,joe8d wrote:No property tax on grave sites. Owned two for 25 years and received no bills
Victoria
Inventor of the Bogleheads Secret Handshake |
Winner of the 2015 Boglehead Contest. |
Every joke has a bit of a joke. ... The rest is the truth. (Marat F)