Buying for someone who "has everything"

Questions on how we spend our money and our time - consumer goods and services, home and vehicle, leisure and recreational activities
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schuyler74
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Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by schuyler74 »

I'm not rich, but because I'm frugal I make "enough" money and therefore already have pretty much whatever I want. If I want it, I probably already have it. And if I don't have it, it's either because I don't know it exists or else I just don't want it enough.

So for birthdays & Christmas, what do you buy for someone like me? Same goes for the reverse, of course. I'm sure we all have a few friends who are very tough to buy for, and I can't be the only one like this on these forums. :)

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sport
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by sport »

One thing that works is to buy something consumable, so even if you already have it, you will use it up. It could be things like a bottle of wine, a gift package of nuts or cheese, etc.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by Jack FFR1846 »

My wife is just like you.

I went to Apmex and bought her a gold coin pendant. Although it has some intrinsic value, it's beautiful and unusual.

I know she'll like it because it came to the house and she thought it was a cell phone case she ordered and opened it. Doooooh! Should had it sent to my work.
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DSInvestor
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by DSInvestor »

A book signed by John Bogle would be a nice gift for a Boglehead. Can probably get one signed if you attend a boglehead conference.
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mhc
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by mhc »

jsl11 wrote:One thing that works is to buy something consumable, so even if you already have it, you will use it up. It could be things like a bottle of wine, a gift package of nuts or cheese, etc.
Jeff
I agree with the quote. I am very difficult to by for, so my family has learned to buy me Walker shortbread cookies. We all enjoy them very much.
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VictoriaF
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by VictoriaF »

DSInvestor wrote:A book signed by John Bogle would be a nice gift for a Boglehead. Can probably get one signed if you attend a boglehead conference.
A Bogleheads conference enrollment itself would make a nice gift, especially for someone who has not attended it before. (Those who have attended usually register right away without waiting for a gift.)

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CrossOverGuy
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by CrossOverGuy »

A number of books say that experiences (and memories of them) are many times more treasured than possessions. So, depending upon where you are located, I would suggest getting tickets to a great live show or musical performance and/or treat yourself to a great meal in a beautiful restaurant where you normally would not go. This might not work for a gift to friends, since you may not know their taste, and perhaps may not want to spend as much. On the other hand, I used to get my parents a number of times tickets to the Met Opera, Broadway shows or Carnegie Hall since I knew the type of things they liked and that they would enjoy it.
Last edited by CrossOverGuy on Fri Apr 04, 2014 2:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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pennstater2005
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by pennstater2005 »

For Christmas my dad, whom we tell not to buy anything, buys my wife and I toothpaste, laundry detergent, shaving cream, etc. I haven't bought any of that stuff for years. Not exciting but very useful. Saves me some dough :happy
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CyberBob
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by CyberBob »

jsl11 wrote:One thing that works is to buy something consumable, so even if you already have it, you will use it up. It could be things like a bottle of wine, a gift package of nuts or cheese, etc.
Jeff
This ^
And over the course of a few years, minimize and downsize even this until your gift is finally just your good wishes and presence.
Virtually everyone I know - myself included - has everything they need as far as physical possessions, but the thought that you remembered their birthday by simply telling them 'Happy Birthday' is appreciated and enough of a gift.

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TSR
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by TSR »

I am someone who doesn't need a lot of "things" either. That said, there are some luxury items that I enjoy owning but just don't buy for myself -- nice gloves, a cashmere scarf, a quality hat, things like that. These make great gifts in the $100 or below range. For a little bit more money, I like the appeal of tough, American-made things that last forever -- a Filson work coat, some Red Wings boots, etc.

You would also impress, of course, with nice wine, a bottle of bourbon, a $60 bottle of nice mezcal (a delicious surprise, btw), or what have you.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by bhsince87 »

I’ve been buying people memberships in Amazon Prime the past few years. That seems to be fairly well received.

And if they like it, I know what to get them every year!
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jendoe
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by jendoe »

pennstater2005 wrote:For Christmas my dad, whom we tell not to buy anything, buys my wife and I toothpaste, laundry detergent, shaving cream, etc. I haven't bought any of that stuff for years. Not exciting but very useful. Saves me some dough :happy
:D My mom does something similar. She has a friend that makes very gentle goats-milk soap for her kids, and sells the extra bars to neighbors/friends. No website or anything like that. Her soap is fantastic, so my mom gets me a big box each year for Christmas!

Another thought... sometimes, the "present" isn't the item - it's the time to research the item. My sister wanted a good yoga mat for her birthday that was "green", and wasn't made from any weird chemicals. I spent a good week reading yoga forums and doing research trying to find yoga mats that were well-liked and comfortable, without chemicals/smells. The one I got her wasn't expensive, but it was just what she wanted - and I saved her the time of having to research it herself.
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3CheersforLkyJack
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by 3CheersforLkyJack »

Agree that experiences make great gifts.

Mother's Day a few years ago - Took my parents and brother to a nice seafood restaurant in town. Seafood is my mom's favorite. Brought along a bottle of wine from a winery we visited on a family vacation a few years prior. She still talks about it.

Father's Day - Took my dad and brother to a local trap shooting range. We all enjoy target shooting.
HurdyGurdy
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by HurdyGurdy »

To celebrate your birthday, a gift to a charity of your choice.
lightheir
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by lightheir »

Stuff someone made for you by hand is always special, and costs nothing. Dosen't even have to be fancy.
letsgobobby
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by letsgobobby »

my family has pretty much defaulted to alcohol. great bottle of wine, unique liquor, or a craft beer. Of course we live on the OR/WA border so we have lots of great and local wine, liquor, and beer options to procure.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by jasc15 »

This past Christmas, I offhandedly asked for toilet paper and paper towels when my family asked what I wanted, since my answer had repeatedly been "I don't need anything". I will probably be set on paper goods now until next Christmas.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by OverCusser »

I would say I fall in this camp as well - which leads people to say I'm very hard to buy for. I disagree - if I don't need anything, I tell them I would rather them spend on themselves as them getting something THEY want makes me happier than me just getting something else :)

I like getting gift cards - it seems I let someone else use them in the spirit of the above though. Usually I give them to my wife or my parents/brother.

For an actual gift, I really think it is the non-sexy/every day gifts that I like the most - not because I can't go get them, but because I just don't. For example, I would say I needed a new electric razor years - yet I would NEVER get one for myself because I hated the idea of spending 100 bucks on one. Not because of being cheap or trying to be frugal - literally, just mental. Ultimately, my wife got me one for Christmas - I'm pretty sure a shaver for a guy is similar to getting a vacuum for a girl, but I was VERY happy with that gift :)

Consumables like alcohol mentioned earlier are always good. I embrace my inner white trash by being mostly a beer drinker and my wife likes wine, but nothing very expensive, however; we love having quite a bit of good wine in the house when people come over - some is wine we bought, but some is wine that was given as a gift. I actually like when someone gives a nice bottle of wine and we have it the next time they come over and open it then.
Dave55
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by Dave55 »

Gift certificate to Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble or your favorite local store/shopping place.
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Watty
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by Watty »

Tickets to a play or concert are one thing that someone might like but not buy for themselves.
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retiredjg
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by retiredjg »

schuyler74 wrote:I'm not rich, but because I'm frugal I make "enough" money and therefore already have pretty much whatever I want. If I want it, I probably already have it. And if I don't have it, it's either because I don't know it exists or else I just don't want it enough.

So for birthdays & Christmas, what do you buy for someone like me?
This describes me very well. Add on a touch of "don't want to accumulate stuff" and disliking waste, my friends/family had a problem buying stuff for me. I solved the problem by having a wish list at Amazon so they could buy something they know I want and will use. There is even a button you can add to your browser page to add things from companies other than Amazon.

This has worked quite well for all of us for several years. I'm not getting stuff I don't want or need and they are comfortable knowing they are getting something I want. Win - win. :beer
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by stoptothink »

pennstater2005 wrote:For Christmas my dad, whom we tell not to buy anything, buys my wife and I toothpaste, laundry detergent, shaving cream, etc. I haven't bought any of that stuff for years. Not exciting but very useful. Saves me some dough :happy
I wish my mom or wife did this. I'm the "guy who has everything" or more accurately "the guy who wants nothing," so I have heard I'm a PITA to get gifts for. I tell everyone that I would prefer nothing, so my mom ends up getting me some random thing that goes to GoodWill and my wife secretly allies with my staff to destroy my office and car with decorations.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by abuss368 »

I am at the point in life I don't want anything but the company of friends and family with plenty of food and drink. I do not need material gifts.
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englishgirl
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by englishgirl »

We agree not to swap gifts, and revel in the reduction of stress leading up to holidays.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by abuss368 »

englishgirl wrote:We agree not to swap gifts, and revel in the reduction of stress leading up to holidays.
This is so true and we have experienced this too. The stress does begin to decline. One can focus on the holiday's for what they truly are.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by sls239 »

I'd probably say screw Christmas etc. and give you cut roses from my garden when they are in bloom. Roses from the florist don't smell like our roses.
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jmndu99
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by jmndu99 »

I have to agree with the other responders that an EXPERIENCE is the best gift. Memories last a lifetime and cannot be bought
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TimeRunner
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by TimeRunner »

Artisanal chocolates, locally sourced. Doesn't matter if they are an Ironman athlete - one after dinner every night for a couple of weeks is still to die for.
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in_reality
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by in_reality »

A massage. Even when I didn't have much money I still found a way to spring for a massage for my mom. I was good at finding really good therapists. She didn't have real good health and didn't make it to retirement so I am really glad that I did that. After a few gifts actually she made it a habit for herself.

Dad didn't make it retirement either and in his last days really just wanted his feet massaged.

I'll take a good massage over the best chocolate any day, but the best is a little of both.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by jbourne99 »

I agree with consumables... One of the most practical recent gifts I received was a box of freebie hotel soaps, shampoos, and conditioners. Another was some plain underwear, t-shirts, and socks. Most everything else gets returned, regifted, or sold.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by Random Musings »

Some wine, handcrafted beers, speciality foods and perhaps an unusual gift (or even a gag gift) if you know these people very well.

The reality is, the best gift is spending time with your friends.

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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by cheese_breath »

Donate to your favorite charity in your name.
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serbeer
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by serbeer »

I am similar and the best gift my wife ever gave me was electronic book reader (sony prs-505 at the time). I love to read but was restraining myself to books on paper and reading on computer screen before that. Since then I always keep a reader with me and went through 3 prs-505 and now switched to kindle paperwhite.
This is an example of being able to extend ability of a person to do what you already love to do, that's the best kind of gifts.

Another good one was electrical razor while I used to use blade-based ones previously. Electrical one can be used anywhere because there is no need for soap.

And yes, like other people mentioned already, I was getting massage gift cards. And collections of beer. And set of expensive liqueurs I enjoy and wanted to try. And some tools I read about, really wanted, but they were too expensive to buy for very occasional usage I envisioned for them.

A bigger gift for one of my anniversary b-days was a infrared sauna that we assembled in the basement, so that I can take sauna not only in healthclub but at home as well. This one she told me about in advance, of course. Even though I came to realization that I should have asked her to buy me massage chair instead, it would get more frequent use I think and would cost about the same.

Hope this gives you some useful ideas.
555
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by 555 »

The best thing to buy for someone who "has everything" is "nothing".

Make it clear that you want nothing. Just make it clear to everyone that you wish not to receive gifts, and if they are considerate, then they will respect that wish.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by Caduceus »

I like the idea of gift cards, shared experiences (like a meal out together at a nice restaurant) or gifts to a charity of the recipient's choice. Material gifts can sometimes have negative utility. When I receive things that I don't want, I feel conflicted because I can't figure out if I should re-gift it or let it sit there collecting dust. Failing to match a gift to an actual want just seems so incredibly wasteful.
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Mrs.Feeley
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by Mrs.Feeley »

For a holiday gift exchange one year a friend gave everyone high-quality paint brushes. This was a huge hit as we were all DIY homeowners with painting projects. Most of us were too cheap to buy anything other than those crummy $1 stiff-plastic paint brushes. With a great paint brush, especially a good trim brush, home painting projects go so much faster and more smoothly than with a crummy brush. We were all honestly grateful.

My favorite gift of all-time was when my husband gave me a dozen paperback mystery novels from a second-hand bookstore. I had been working long hours, was under stress, and honestly hadn't read a mystery novel in years. Taking a few hours every so often to read Agatha Christie was the most wonderful thing.

I like to give a selection of fresh spices if the gift recipient cooks. I like to get fruit and nuts.

At this point in life we've stopped exchanging gifts with close friends and relatives as we all have everything we need materially. Instead we go out to dinner together. My husband and I sometimes exchange tickets for events like theatre and opera, or we'll plan events for birthdays and anniversaries such as hiking along the shore with the dogs or simply strolling through town to see what there is to see.
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by J295 »

I enjoy receiving small framed pictures of family that we can set around our home (and my office when I was full time). A take off on this were drink coasters with different pictures of the kids on the coasters, and travel tags with pictures of the family.

Also, coffee shop gift cards are always welcome.
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HardKnocker
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by HardKnocker »

A donation to a charity in their name.
“Gold gets dug out of the ground, then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility.”--Warren Buffett
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by letsgobobby »

jmndu99 wrote:I have to agree with the other responders that an EXPERIENCE is the best gift. Memories last a lifetime and cannot be bought
Didn't you just buy the memory with the gift of the experience?
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by alil »

A one year subscription to a good magazine - Economist, New Yorker, Harper...
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cfs
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by cfs »

Good conversation.

My family learned the lesson, now my gifts are plain New York Cheesecake, Pecan Pie, or Coconut Cookies.

I take another serving with a glass of milk.

Thanks for reading this note.
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Epsilon Delta
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by Epsilon Delta »

Breath mints. Always leaves them wondering. :twisted:

Seriously when somebody tells me they don't want a gift I do them the honor of taking them at their word, and do not assume it is some sort of passive aggressive attack. I wish more people would do the same.
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HardKnocker
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by HardKnocker »

Who needs more junk?

However new underwear is always needed and chocolate is always welcome.
“Gold gets dug out of the ground, then we melt it down, dig another hole, bury it again and pay people to stand around guarding it. It has no utility.”--Warren Buffett
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Re: Buying for someone who "has everything"

Post by gd »

Laughably overpriced mail order consumables companies make lots and lots of money off this.

I've been trying for years to talk various relatives out of compulsory, unneeded gift-giving, but recreational shoppers and consumers take it as a personal attack on their value system. It finally occurred to me that they're shopping for themselves, not me, and that epiphany helped me to shrug it off. Somewhat.
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