wedding gift - tacky or not ....

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hicabob
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wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by hicabob »

I was planning on giving my soon to be married nephew, whom I'm fond of, a 1 oz maple leaf gold coin. It's easy for me, I think it's a most interesting gift & it's relatively liquid for the recipients if they so desire. My only concern, is if it would be considered tacky considering modern US sensibilities? I've never been particularly good at etiquette type things so thought bogleheads would be a suitable sounding board for such a question. TIA.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by pjstack »

I, for one, think it would be a wonderful gift!
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livesoft
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by livesoft »

My personally feeling is that it would OK as long as you sent a note that they should sell it whenever they wanted to and should not keep it for "sentimental reasons".

They might feel the need to have safe deposit box at their bank for it. Perhaps they do not even have a local bank. Thus, they may consider it a hassle to have. Or perhaps it could come with a piece of wood shaped like a coaster or trivet, so that it would have a more practical use.

I know if I had received a gold coin, I would be thinking, "What the [heck --admin LadyGeek] am I supposed to do with this?"
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central nj
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by central nj »

A++++ gift!
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Boglenaut
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Boglenaut »

hicabob wrote:I was planning on giving my soon to be married nephew, whom I'm fond of, a 1 oz maple leaf gold coin. It's easy for me, I think it's a most interesting gift & it's relatively liquid for the recipients if they so desire. My only concern, is if it would be considered tacky considering modern US sensibilities? I've never been particularly good at etiquette type things so thought bogleheads would be a suitable sounding board for such a question. TIA.
I'd have loved that as a gift! Just make sure it's secure.
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matjen
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by matjen »

Great and thoughtful gift. :!:
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frugaltype
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by frugaltype »

I looked this up. It seems to be worth about $1,500? That's certainly a nice gift, but if I were the recipients, I would prefer a check for $1,500 in case they're saving for their first house or something. (Which is what my niece and her fiance are doing - makes a gift easy and you know it's something they can actually use.)

Unless I knew about investing in gold, I'd try to figure out how to sell it, which would be a chore in itself.

I guess some people think cash is tacky, though. I think it's practical, instead of the 7th waffle iron.
Last edited by frugaltype on Tue Apr 30, 2013 6:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
TheGreyingDuke
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by TheGreyingDuke »

hicabob wrote:My only concern, is if it would be considered tacky considering modern US sensibilities?
Not sure what sensibilities might be offended. For wedding gifts down a generation (uncle/nephew for example) I have always thought a check was the best gift of all. The gold coin is a near cash equivalent I suppose, might be a burden for young people starting out, moving around, etc.

In China, the only gift is crisp 100 yuan notes in a red envelope; at one wedding I was at recently, the aunties set themselves up on two chairs, they ripped open the envelope and handed back to you about 10% of what you gave and then dropped the remainder into a large plastic bag.No recording of amounts (maybe some surreptitious accounting) and no thank you notes to follow. I found it refreshing, others may have different opinions.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by bungalow10 »

I think it's a wonderful gift.

To all those worried about how to sell it... almost nothing I received at my wedding would have been easy to sell for cash :)
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TxAg
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by TxAg »

I'd like receiving it as a gift, but I think the note about "selling it whenever they see fit" would be a nice add on.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by scone »

It's not exactly tacky, but it's always awkward when the recipients of the gift can easily figure out what you paid for it. It's also awkward that the gift is essentially money or money-like, which can be construed as "I couldn't be bothered picking out something you might like, so here's something you can easily cash in whenever you want." That smacks a little of crass materialism, which is not exactly the mood you're going for here.

This is why brides register. The crass materialism is still there, but deeply disguised. Try to find out what the bride really wants, and give her it. Trust me, this will pay better devidends than any gold coin.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Barefootgirl »

I read about these gestures and am almost always reminded of my raising in another place, another culture.

In our circle, giving cash or cash equivalents would have been considered bad form - too tacky, too crass...too impersonal.

It was assumed that the newlyweds were just starting out and therefore in need of items for housekeeping. One politely inquired of the parents of the couple as to what they needed - and it was therefore purchased and wrapped and waiting on the wedding gift table - linens, dishes, small appliances, etc.

These were not considered gifts for the bride, but gifts for the couple.

Gifts for the bride were given at a bridal shower - and they were of a personal, not household, nature.

A registry would have been considered narcissistic, lol.

To each their own :)

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Rerouble I : wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by btenny »

It is not tacky but it may not be very practical for a young couple. They probably don't have a place to store it or keep it and it may get stolen if left out on a table. But it is still a good gift and your nephew may be very thrifty and want to keep the coin and put it away for safe keeping long term with storage TBD. But if he needs to sell it right away to use the money for other things they will pay pretty big fee to some gold broker to get cash. So I would send a note with the coin that if they need cash instead of keeping the coin that you would give them a check for $XXXX if they want and return the coin to you for your use. Plus I might also send them a second gift like a set of nice dishes or some nice kitchen appliance to go along with this coin with the note.

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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by mike143 »

Just for perspective. I am 30 and got married 1.5 years ago. I would not want gold but cash instead. I really didn't want gifts because I can buy more with same money than most other people can. We made a registry but luckily we got mostly cash. I don't believe gold is a wise investment and may end with unintended consequences.
Last edited by mike143 on Tue Apr 30, 2013 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by fsrph »

I think it's a great gift. Could be sold if they wanted the money or kept for sentimental reasons.

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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by pennstater2005 »

It is most definitely a nice gift. You could ask your nephew if he would like a gold coin, or just cash. If you know for sure he is into gold then go for it.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by nisiprius »

I think it's a great gift... and I am not an investor in gold. It's pretty, it's luxurious, it embodies good wishes for financial prosperity. It is not bulky. It is not the sort of thing that needs to be the right size or the right style. And it can be converted to cash more easily--and recover a much larger percentage of the purchase price, even if gold falls--than jewelry or luxury goods. The only thing I would say is to make it perfectly clear that they can sell it if they don't want to keep it. Give them the address of a suitable coin shop.

As for the issue that they can guess what you paid for it, unless the recipients are awfully unworldly that's true of just about any gift. (The only way it wouldn't be is if you are re-gifting, or passing off a salvage store second as new.... which is definitely tacky).

Particularly if they're not into gold... it qualifies as something nice that they would never get for themselves, don't have already, and wouldn't have strong views ("oh, dear, he gave me a Maple Leaf, how can I tell him that I really wanted an Australian Kangaroo...")
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by scone »

nisiprius wrote:As for the issue that they can guess what you paid for it, unless the recipients are awfully unworldly that's true of just about any gift. (The only way it wouldn't be is if you are re-gifting, or passing off a salvage store second as new.... which is definitely tacky).
Um, no. You can figure out pretty closely what was paid for the gold coin on the day it was purchased. It's as if you wrote a check to the couple on that day. It's that impersonal. It's a far cry from making an effort to search for a unique, special gift that would be particularly liked or needed by this groom and bride. It suggests that the giver is (1) obsessed with money (2) too lazy to shop (3) lacking in imagination (4) doesn't care. If I got money as I gift I would assume the giver was paying to make the problem of gift giving go away, just as you might pay a kid to cut the lawn for you, relieving you of a boring, distasteful task.

In fact, giving anything that's essentially money comes close to suggesting you are paying the recipient for something, which introduces a market ethos into an occasion that -- conventionally-- is purely social and emotional.

There's an example of this in Predictably Irrational, where the author describes a situation where one is invited to a dinner. In one instance, the invitee brings a nice bottle of wine costing $50.00 to the dinner. The hostess is impressed. In the other instance, the invitee tries to pay the hostess $50.00 for the fine dinner she has prepared. The same amount of money is being spent, but the social context, the nuances, are radically different. I hope I don't have to explain why the hostess, in the second instance, is deeply insulted. Mixing up the values of the marketplace with the values of the social world is asking for trouble. Far easier to err on the side of social conventions, and not be thought of, 30 years later, as "that embarrassing tacky uncle."

In fact, if you've got a grasping, greedy Bridezilla on your hands, the more useless and arcane the gift, the better. But that's a whole other level of nuance.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by khh »

scone wrote:If I got money as I gift I would assume the giver was paying to make the problem of gift giving go away, just as you might pay a kid to cut the lawn for you, relieving you of a boring, distasteful task.
How ungrateful and ungracious.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by wingnutty »

Heck yea, it's an awesome gift! Original, thoughfful, well-intentioned and GENEROUS! I think most people receiving the gift might rather have cash on hand, but the novelty of that gift adds to it's attraction. Hell, nobody is gonna say "oh gosh, this is nice, but I wish I had cash instead". They will say, "OH WOW! That is awesome and very thoughtful".

Give the cold coin :happy
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by stoptothink »

khh wrote:
scone wrote:If I got money as I gift I would assume the giver was paying to make the problem of gift giving go away, just as you might pay a kid to cut the lawn for you, relieving you of a boring, distasteful task.
How ungrateful and ungracious.
I can't possibly imagine a better wedding gift than money. That's what almost every single couple that I have known wanted, and in most cases needed, but were afraid to flat out ask for. My brother was married 2yrs ago and specifically noted on the invitation that they had no need for household items; wish I had been as bold because I ended up giving away numerous toasters, silverware sets, etc. that I never would use.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by SurfCityBill »

We received quite a few 30 year US gov't bonds many years ago for our wedding that we simply stashed away. At the time I thought they were fine gifts. Now that I think of it they're almost due. Sure beats the various kitchen cluttering devices we also received. I'd be thrilled with the coin.

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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Raymond »

A one-ounce gold coin sounds good, but I personally would prefer to give a Krugerrand - more durable (the ounce of gold is alloyed with copper to create a 22k coin) to a Maple Leaf (24k, relatively soft). Both are good to go.

I think money is perfectly fine for weddings, especially if it's coming from a person at least one generation older than the recipient.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by rr2 »

TheGreyingDuke wrote:
hicabob wrote:My only concern, is if it would be considered tacky considering modern US sensibilities?
Not sure what sensibilities might be offended. For wedding gifts down a generation (uncle/nephew for example) I have always thought a check was the best gift of all. The gold coin is a near cash equivalent I suppose, might be a burden for young people starting out, moving around, etc.

In China, the only gift is crisp 100 yuan notes in a red envelope; at one wedding I was at recently, the aunties set themselves up on two chairs, they ripped open the envelope and handed back to you about 10% of what you gave and then dropped the remainder into a large plastic bag.No recording of amounts (maybe some surreptitious accounting) and no thank you notes to follow. I found it refreshing, others may have different opinions.
There are other cultures where money works along with a token non-monetary gift such as a household knick-knack etc. In fact, the amount you gave was recorded down. That did bother me somewhat.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by LadyGeek »

For our anniversary, my husband got me a 2002 American Eagle 1 oz. Platinum proof coin. What was my first thought? Cool, I loved it. 8-)

My 2nd thought was "How much?" He paid the going rate. :oops: I still like it.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by frugaltype »

Barefootgirl wrote: It was assumed that the newlyweds were just starting out and therefore in need of items for housekeeping.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by JimInIllinois »

scone wrote:Um, no. You can figure out pretty closely what was paid for the gold coin on the day it was purchased. It's as if you wrote a check to the couple on that day. It's that impersonal. It's a far cry from making an effort to search for a unique, special gift that would be particularly liked or needed by this groom and bride. It suggests that the giver is (1) obsessed with money (2) too lazy to shop (3) lacking in imagination (4) doesn't care. If I got money as I gift I would assume the giver was paying to make the problem of gift giving go away, just as you might pay a kid to cut the lawn for you, relieving you of a boring, distasteful task.

In fact, giving anything that's essentially money comes close to suggesting you are paying the recipient for something, which introduces a market ethos into an occasion that -- conventionally-- is purely social and emotional.

There's an example of this in Predictably Irrational, where the author describes a situation where one is invited to a dinner. In one instance, the invitee brings a nice bottle of wine costing $50.00 to the dinner. The hostess is impressed. In the other instance, the invitee tries to pay the hostess $50.00 for the fine dinner she has prepared. The same amount of money is being spent, but the social context, the nuances, are radically different. I hope I don't have to explain why the hostess, in the second instance, is deeply insulted. Mixing up the values of the marketplace with the values of the social world is asking for trouble. Far easier to err on the side of social conventions, and not be thought of, 30 years later, as "that embarrassing tacky uncle."

In fact, if you've got a grasping, greedy Bridezilla on your hands, the more useless and arcane the gift, the better. But that's a whole other level of nuance.
I hope I don't have to explain that a wedding is not a "personal" event. It's a public ceremony with more guests than the happy couple has time to interact with in any meaningful way. All you really want is for your guests to RSVP, dress and behave appropriately, and be happy for you. What you don't want is for each of them to try to show how clever and thoughtful and generous they are by buying something you don't need and contributing it to a massive display of conspicuous consumption at the reception that you then have to figure out how to transport somewhere where it won't get stolen.

My take is that if you are older and better-off than the couple the most suitable and appreciated gift is a check for an appropriate round number. If you are a close personal friend then give them something personal when you see them socially. Otherwise pick something you approve of from the registry and have it shipped to their home.

I've read somewhere that "thoughtful" gifts are really for the pleasure of the giver - on average the recipient doesn't like them any more than generic gifts.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by HardKnocker »

Money is the best gift.

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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

That's a spectacular gift to give and to receive. If someone had given me a gold coin, I'd gladly accept it. To do otherwise for any gift received, would be in rather poor taste and quite rude.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

HardKnocker wrote:Money is the best gift.

Who needs another blender?
I have 2 toaster ovens still in the box in my basement, unopened. My current one has been very durable.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Grt2bOutdoors »

LadyGeek wrote:For our anniversary, my husband got me a 2002 American Eagle 1 oz. Platinum proof coin. What was my first thought? Cool, I loved it. 8-)

My 2nd thought was "How much?" He paid the going rate. :oops: I still like it.
You got a great deal! Go look at the price of platinum today.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by HardKnocker »

Personally the gift of a gold coin, while interesting, is not practical. It will sit in a drawer most likely. Selling it will be a hassle for the receiver.

I'd rather receive cash.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by THY4373 »

I think it is a great gift idea. I had a godfather who used to buy me investments of one kind or another when I was a kid for my birthday. He would buy me one share of a stock in a DRIP plan and write me a little letter on investing (the single share of Coca Cola he bought in 1977 is now worth about $14,000+). He also bought me a gold Swiss Franc when I was 14. I still have it and his letter about how it was diversifying me from my stock holdings. Sadly he died not long after that but I love the coin (if I had gotten cash at 14 it would have been blown on something stupid). I say go for it, they can cash it out if they want to.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Rebecca_S »

The thoughtfulness of the gift will vary greatly depending on the needs and personality of the bride and the groom. How well do you know them both? Are you choosing this gift for them or for yourself?

A gold coin is not a gift I would have appreciated. I didn't have a safe or deposit box to store it, I would feel awkward selling it and would not feel comfortable displaying it. My tastes run to practical and I didn't care if guests brought a present or not to our small wedding.

Many other people really enjoy gold and sparkly things, are coin collectors, would have a safe space to store the gold and would appreciate the sentiment.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by stemikger »

Not tacky at all. I would print something from the internet to go along with it so they know a little bit about it and it's worth. I think it is an awesome gift.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by hicabob »

Thankyou bogleheads - the coin would be one of some I've had for decades so the original price paid is my little secret.
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Tamahome »

Not what you want to hear, but my advice would be to either A) Sell the coin and give them the money or B) Buy something off the registry. Having recently gone through the process, I greatly appreciated the money we received, as it added to our honeymoon. The items on our registry were there because we wanted them. We spent a lot of time choosing what we wanted in the way of items for the house.

A well meaning Aunt came up to us and told us she got us something special because she "did not want to get us something impersonal from a list that we wouldn't want anyway." (The items were on the registry because we COULD use them). Instead, she bought us a very nice geode that is apparently worth about $1200.00. It currently sits in my garage behind the lawnmower. I love my Aunt to death, but I am no longer 12 years old.

What about the small items? The Wok a friend bought us because she likes Asian food is going in the yard sale. We have a Wok... it is very nice. That is why it was not on the registry. All of those picture frames? I already have about 20 empty frames that I actually like. I would rather someone save the money and simply give us a card than give us something to clutter the house.

While your coin has more value than the above referenced items (and more liquidity than the geode), it will likely sit without giving them any real benefit. Sell it and give them the money earmarked for a honeymoon or a new house. A gold coin will gather dust until it is lost.

The only reason I would say it is ok at all is that you already have it. Just realize that it sounds like you have no use for it and are therefore passing it to them rather than you want to give them that much value in a gift.

Whatever you decide, good luck (and best wishes to the new couple).
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by YttriumNitrate »

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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Boglenaut »

Now I really want one of those....

I THINK I GOT GOLD FEVER! :twisted:

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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by walkabout »

I'm in the crowd that thinks that it is sort of an odd gift choice. It is essentially a bauble that, at this point in time, is worth around $1500 (according to a post way up in the thread). Now, will the receiver of the gift regard it as a keepsake of some sort? As "money" (cash/check)? As something else?

I think that it would be easy for the coin to regarded by the receiver (probably mistakenly) as having "strings attached". They might regard it as a keepsake rather than, essentially, $1500 cold, hard cash. In that case, other posters who mention that it will have to be stored somewhere safe, displayed, whatever.

If you gave then $1500 in cash or check, it would be obvious that the money should be spent (or saved, or whatever they want to do with it). Would they feel guilty selling it? Should they feel guilty selling it? Would you feel bad if they sold it the day after the wedding? Would you feel bad if you spoke to them in a couple of years and found out that they coin was in a drawer (or somewhere "safe") and, in the meantime, the price of gold had dropped such that value was now $1000?

Personally, I think that giving cash or check is a fine wedding gift that anyone would like to receive. The coin, well, I can just imagine the conversation of the married couple some days/weeks after the wedding:

He: Wow, look at this gold coin from Uncle Hicabob! Sweet!
She: What do we do with it?
He: I don't know?
She: Should we sell it?
He: It was a wedding gift and we just got it. Would that be rude?
She: Maybe? I'm not sure.
He: Why don't we put it somewhere safe until we decide.
She: I don't know if we really have "safe" place. I suppose we could get a safe deposit box.
He: That sounds like a lot of trouble for now. Besides, we bank at online banks, so we would have to find an actual physical bank.
She: Ok, we'll put it in the desk drawer.

Months/Years later...

He: Hey, I found Uncle Hicabob's gold coin in that desk that we are selling on Craigslist. Good thing I checked!
She: What should we do with it?
He: I don't know? Let's put it somewhere safe until until we decide.
She: Maybe we should sell it?
He: It was a wedding gift. Wouldn't that be rude?
She: I don't know, but maybe you're right. How do we sell it anyway?
He: Let's just put in the drawer of the new desk and figure out what to do with it later.

I think the sentiment to give something unique and with, perhaps, an extra personal touch is a good admirable. However, I would prefer receiving a gift whose "correct" utilitization is more obvious. Cash = spend/save. Check = spend/save. Geode = ???. Registered gifts = You asked for this, now use it. Gold coin = Spend? Save? Display? Store?

Good luck and congratulations to your nephew and his bride to be on their upcoming wedding!
MDfive21
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by MDfive21 »

hicabob wrote:Thankyou bogleheads - the coin would be one of some I've had for decades so the original price paid is my little secret.
that makes it an even better gift.

this past christmas i gave my dad a small drop safe with $200 in presidential dollar coins inside. he loved it.
i felt i should give back a little since he always gives DW and me cash for christmas and birthdays, which is way better than gifts in my book.
Random Poster
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Random Poster »

hicabob wrote: . . . . it's relatively liquid for the recipients if they so desire.
Is it really?

I guess it depends on what the meaning of "relatively" is, but aren't there some serious transaction costs involved in trying to sell a coin, gold or not?

Personally, I'd accept the gift and say "thank you," but privately wonder what in the world I'm supposed to do with it and wish that I would have gotten something more useful and, well, truly liquid.
MDfive21
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by MDfive21 »

it's hard to count for sure, but i'm seeing a gender gap in this thread. most male sounding users think the coin is great, most female sounding users hate it.

maybe the most appropriate way to go about it is to give the coin to the groom personally (since he is blood), and buy something reasonable off the registry for "the couple." this way, you get the reaction you expect from your nephew without the wtf from the wife.
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pjstack
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by pjstack »

Random Poster wrote:
hicabob wrote: . . . . it's relatively liquid for the recipients if they so desire.
Is it really?

I guess it depends on what the meaning of "relatively" is, but aren't there some serious transaction costs involved in trying to sell a coin, gold or not?

Personally, I'd accept the gift and say "thank you," but privately wonder what in the world I'm supposed to do with it and wish that I would have gotten something more useful and, well, truly liquid.
Good grief! What "transaction costs" are you talking about?
They got the coin for free. They could sell it at any coin store, pawn shop, jewelry store, or guy on the street!
Certainly easier to sell than the extra toaster(s) they are likely to accumulate.
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ryuns
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by ryuns »

Hicabob, perhaps you'd like to attend our upcoming wedding... :)

I think it's a fine gift, and think you should include in your card that they should feel free to sell it at any time, and you may go so far as to note an appropriate way to do so. My first instinct, were I the recipient would be to google "best way to sell gold coin", but the results are fairly mixed between shady advertisements, decent resources, and honest articles that may confuse the reader further.

By the way, I love the idea of giving cash or cash equivalent. While weddings have been traditionally an opportunity to stock a new house, most people, even if they didn't live together ahead of time, already have quite a bit of stuff, and, given a long guestlist and a Bed Bath and Beyond catalog, simply end up needlessly making small upgrades/replacements for what they already have and previously had little intention of replacing. My desire for my own upcoming wedding will be to use one of those websites that allows your givers to contribute (via CC online, or cash/check in person) to a piece of a specific gift (honeymoon flight, etc). I'll probably circle around with the Bogleheads about their opinion on that as the date to send invitations approaches.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered. -- GK Chesterton
Random Poster
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Random Poster »

pjstack wrote:
Random Poster wrote:
hicabob wrote: . . . . it's relatively liquid for the recipients if they so desire.
Is it really?

I guess it depends on what the meaning of "relatively" is, but aren't there some serious transaction costs involved in trying to sell a coin, gold or not?

Personally, I'd accept the gift and say "thank you," but privately wonder what in the world I'm supposed to do with it and wish that I would have gotten something more useful and, well, truly liquid.
Good grief! What "transaction costs" are you talking about?
They got the coin for free. They could sell it at any coin store, pawn shop, jewelry store, or guy on the street!
Certainly easier to sell than the extra toaster(s) they are likely to accumulate.
What I meant by "transaction costs" is that the buyer of the coin likely is not going to pay whatever the full "value" of the coin is. In other words, if the coin is worth $1500, do you think that the coin store, pawn shop, or jewelry store is going to offer the full $1500 to the seller? I rather doubt it. The guy on the street might, but even then, good luck finding that guy.

Sure, something similar happens to people who want to sell toasters or waffle irons or whatever--maybe a new toaster costs $50 and you can buy a gently or never used one for $20, but the toaster isn't likely to be made of a shiny element that fluctuates in value daily* and there likely isn't going to be the same level of semi-sentimental attachment to a toaster that some gold coin might engender.

Maybe I'm wrong and when it comes to gold coins, the market is different and everyone offers full price for any particular sparkly object--they just take the spot price of gold times the object's weight and pay out that amount without any discounts (imputed or otherwise). I don't think that's how it works, but regardless...

I'd still rather have a gift that is truly liquid. Like cash.


* Let's not get too elemental here. I realize that a toaster is made from a whole host of elements, some shiny and some not. My point is that the average guy on the street has a rather generalized idea of what the going rate for gold is, or that they can determine the price of it relatively easily. I'd be surprised if they can do the same for each of the elements that comprise a toaster.
bowest
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by bowest »

MDfive21 wrote:it's hard to count for sure, but i'm seeing a gender gap in this thread. most male sounding users think the coin is great, most female sounding users hate it.

maybe the most appropriate way to go about it is to give the coin to the groom personally (since he is blood), and buy something reasonable off the registry for "the couple." this way, you get the reaction you expect from your nephew without the wtf from the wife.
I think there's also a huge regional gap as well. Weddings in New York are pretty much cash only. Anything else is tacky and distasteful (with possible exceptions for elderly attendees).
practice practice
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by practice practice »

I always get something off the registry even though I think registries are kind of tacky, but you can see above that people can hold grudges about receiving the “wrong” gift. Your nephew will love you no matter what. If your gut says the bride is an easy going kind of person, then go with the gold. Otherwise get the soup tureen or whatever from the registry. They won’t need to get a safe deposit box for one coin – they will own many things that cost more than a gold coin. Not that it matters, but if you're keeping a tally, I would love it.
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mephistophles
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by mephistophles »

Anybody insulted at a gift worth $1500 should probably be the recipient of another blender.
Jonathan
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Re: wedding gift - tacky or not ....

Post by Jonathan »

Not tacky. In fact, much less tacky than writing a check or handing over an envelope of cash. In a nice hardwood display box, of course. You might even try Etsy or CustomMade.com for a really unique handmade box. That would allow you to combine the utility of a cash-like gift with the thoughtfulness of something custom made for them.

Agreed w/nisiprius. Make it clear that they're free to sell it if they wish. If they do, they would likely keep the box as a memento.
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