Barefootgirl wrote:I would be very interested in hearing about the experiences of those here who have cohabitated or married later in life - and how they managed finances, goals, family issues and particularly if from different countries - how they split their time and resources and any special complications that arose. Thank you, BFG
I realize I'm partly to blame for this, but it does seem that not too many of us are actually addressing the questions the BFG asked.
I can't really help with that because my cohabitation/merger story was when I was young and she is asking about later in life. However, I'll give the highlights of my story in hopes that it encourages others to give their own experiences and that she gets more benefit from the thread.
Short story: Good guy at first. Employed, paying his bills. Lost his job (not his fault). Slipped into a bit of sloth. I happily paid the bills (including his bills). He got another job, but somehow I kept paying more than half. Hmmm. The story goes on poorly after that, including loans that were clearly
specified as loans...that never got repaid.
What I learned is not to get financially merged (in the absence of kids, in which case you almost have to). The way I came through this episode just fine is that the house was mine. My car was mine. My income was mine. He just happened to live there too. In other words, even though I footed the bills for a couple of years, and even though there was a personal merger, there was no financial merger and that is what kept me from being hurt financially. I never gave more than I could afford to lose.
At "just past 50", I would think that part of the message (no financial merger with someone who does not have similar assets) would be of even more importance. There is simply no time to fix it if things go wrong.