fratdude wrote:I am asking for input for anyone married to a Mrs. or Mr. Boglehead.
I was wondering if some of the older and wiser members of the forum could provide some advice when it comes to significant others.
Basically, it seems like there are a lot of 20 or early thirty something women out there who aren't particular frugal, as I'm sure the ladies here have found true of men as well.
Where did you meet your wife/husband ? How important was their frugality to you ? How did you know they were down to earth and reasonable with their finances ?
The dating world is a struggle and maybe learning where you all met your spouses would give good clues on where to look.
This may not answer your question, but this is a story that most people find pretty cool when it comes to finding love. It's about me and my wife who have been married for 20 years.
I think the best way to meet someone who shares your values are to become friends first. That is what happened with me and my wife. I met my wife at work. I immediately was shot by cupid when I saw her. She was known as Linda the pretty girl from the other people at work. The only problem was she was wayyy out of my league and she was four months away from being married to someone else (the big wedding and all) and to make matters worse, he was filthy rich and I was dirt poor.
So knowing that there was no way I could get her for the reasons above, we just became friends. When you just become friends you talk to each other in a different way. Don't get me wrong I had a huge crush on her, but I knew there was no way on earth I could get a stunningly beautiful girl who was four months away from marrying a rich guy.
Next thing I knew, every free time she had at work she was walking up to me and I noticed she was spending a lot of time talking to me whenever she could. After a solid month of this, I get a phone call from her saying she canceled her wedding and she is moving out of the house. Yes, he even bought a big house they were having custom built. She was calling me because she was scared and needed a friend to talk to. I also knew they were having problems because he was becoming increasingly possessive and jealous.
To make a long story short, we soon began dating right after this and a year and a half later we got married.
Money was never a big issue with my wife and we are both frugal. We work well together. She does not use a credit card if she can't pay it back in full and she hates debt as much as I do.
These are things you really must talk about before tying the knot. If not, I can assure you the marriage will not last. The number one thing a married couple fights about is money issues and if you are both responsible, you will not have the issues to fight about. I know it's not easy, but when it comes to love and destiny things have a funny way of working out.
The only other bit of advice is work on yourself during this time and be happy being alone. The less you try, that is when you may find Miss Right. That is exactley how it worked out for me.
The right partner can make your life worth living, but the wrong partner can make your life hell. And thanks to having a couple of serious relationships before I met my wife I have experienced both.
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