Can't think of x-mas gift to give wife...

[fundtalker123]

I have trouble thinking of anything ... Money is not an issue, as she already has way more than enough to buy anything she wants (due more to her salary than mine... )

Any ideas

Clothes/shoes - she is not into fashion and she would have to pick what she wants herself anyways (but maybe just giving something (anything!) is good, as it is mainly the gesture that counts?).

Jewelry/watches - doesn't wear them (again, maybe just the gesture counts here..)

Cosmetics - doesn't use them

Electronics - already has nice IPAD, TV, stereo, camera, etc

Kitchenware - have everything we need, she doesn't do much cooking anyways

Bedding and bath - have everything we need, but maybe I can get a nice bath soap to add to the 30 she already has crammed under the sink?

Furniture - house is already too full of furniture (we do need more cold compresses to apply to stubbed toes...)

Hobbies/sports - doesn't have time for hobbies/sports, after work and spending time with the kids, she just wants to take a nap

Car - has a nice car, doesn't need a new one

Media - buys CDs/MP3s whenever she wants them, doesn't watch movies, doesn't read books. I was thinking of working on assembling highlights of the zillion hours of videos we took of the kids into a highlight film - but I'm not sure I can accomplish this before Christmas...

Entertainment - thinking about getting some tickets to see shows, plays, live music, etc, but most show times don't work as she gets tired in the evening, and doesn't like to leave the kids at home. Maybe some matinee shows.

Travel - our two toddlers are not yet conditioned to travel - in a hotel room they wail all night - so traveling is more stressful and less restful than just staying home

Services - we already have a housecleaning service, and my wife has healthclub membership and gets massages regularly. Probably my best "gift" would be to do a larger fraction of the chores around the house

Home improvement - nothing she wants in particular, except to reduce clutter, which involves getting rid of stuff more than adding new gifts. I have indeed been working on de-cluttering, and recently installed two sets of shelves in the garage to organize stuff. Or perhaps I can give her "termite fumigation", though I was thinking of waiting for her birthday for this...

Meals - Another "gift" is, I can work harder to cook her more nice meals ...

Ibonds - already bought her (and me) the maximum allotment per year

[stingray5688]

Gift certificates to fancy restaurants? That's usually my go to for those that don't want/need any more 'stuff'. Maybe plan an evening out and book a babysitter?

[Grt2bOutdoors]

How about a heartfelt written letter from you to her - you fill in the blanks, I can't do all the work for you. Plus a night out - you and her minus the toddlers.
I can't imagine many women who would not turn to mush after getting something so original. (well maybe a few)

[Tortoise]

You mention that you've got a couple of toddlers. I imagine you have lots of digital pics of them being happy, sad, curious, etc. You can go to snapfish.com and put together a 2013 calendar or 2012 remembrance book with your pictures. Be sure to add snazzy captions to each page.

You'll have to hurry, though, as they are only saying shipping before Christmas if you get your order in by Dec 19.

[Woodshark]

Easy, but you'll have to do it now. Every mother loves their children. Call today and make a secret appointment to take your toddlers to a real professional photographer. Have the session done. Ask to make your selection that day, either in person, or if they allow it, online. Place your order. If you need to pay a rush fee to get the portraits ASAP. They don't have to be big. 5x7 or 8x10" is fine. Place in a some nice frames and watch as she turns to mush on Christmas morning.

[hillman]

You mention that you've got a couple of toddlers. I imagine you have lots of digital pics of them being happy, sad, curious, etc. You can go to snapfish.com and put together a 2013 calendar or 2012 remembrance book with your pictures. Be sure to add snazzy captions to each page.

You'll have to hurry, though, as they are only saying shipping before Christmas if you get your order in by Dec 19.

+1

The GF did this( the calendar) a few years ago with my dog. Was a total surprise and was totally awesome; best gift of the season.

[chaz]

My DW enjoys her jewelry and trips.

[nisiprius]

My wife and I have long since stopped exchanging gifts. If you are wage-earning adults with a joint checking account, it's really impossible. What are the chances that you know something your wife wants, that she doesn't know she wants until she gets it? If she knows she wants it and thinks the household can afford it, she'll get it herself. If she knows she wants it but thinks the household can't afford it, she won't be pleased that you've drained the common resources to get it. She'll be less displeased than if you'd spent it on something you wanted, but nevertheless you are overriding her own decision.

All through the year we give each other the "gift" of endorsing purchases after the fact. "Oh, honey, I was at Bed, Bath and Beyond today and I spent $140 on a new lagniappe for the janissary." "Oh, good, I was just thinking it was we needed one."

The thought counts, but the gift exchange itself often goes sour; ever read O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi?"

[TomatoTomahto]

I don't know if your wife is as addicted to coffee as mine is, but almost every morning I get up 10 minutes before she does and bring her a hot mug of coffee in bed. It's not a big deal, and I didn't give this as a gift, but she starts off most mornings with a token of my love (and a delicious cup of coffee!). Sometimes it's the little things... Give her a card entitling her to a month of coffee in bed (and who knows, you might both enjoy it enough to keep it going).

I thought the professional portrait of he toddlers was a good idea also.

[Sam I Am]

My wife enjoys half-day pampering at a day spa. Massage, nails, etc. Little nicer than a plain massage.

How about a digital picture frame filled with family shots she can put on her desk at work?

Call one of her friends and have them take your wife out for a night out without you or the children, on your tab, of course!

Good luck!

I bought my wife a TV, a gift certificate to a shoe store she likes, and a couple of casual shirts. The TV was a replacement for one that was having issues, but she really likes it. My BIL set it up for her this past weekend.

Sam I Am

[Bengineer]

Time! Maybe something like "I'll take care of the kids tonight" tickets?

[reggiesimpson]

I'll wash the dishes for a week. Start the car early for a winter month before you go to work. 6 massages. I will watch your TV shows for a week. I will listen to you complain without offering a solution. Tell her about something from your intimate past together. Last but not least...........tell her how much you appreciate her and how lucky a man you are to have her in your life. It doesnt matter if its all BS cuz it wont cost you a dime and she will love it.

[sscritic]

Give her a link to this thread. Or maybe not.

[westcoast]

Take her to a finest hotel in your area for the weekend and dinner at a four star restaurant. Or a gift certificate to Starbucks.

[HongKonger]

A date. Its that simple.

What women want is for a man to actually think about and plan something nice for them and then actually appear to enjoy spending time alone with them.

So go ahead and book the babysitter, book an activity, book dinner (a night at a hotel won't likely appeal if you have toddlers). Doesn't have to be flash.. she just wants to be surprised by your thoughtfulness and planning.

There isn't a single woman I know who wouldn't be knocked out by this (and she'll be the envy of her girlfriends!).

[mainiac]

I gave my husband a list of what I wanted for Christmas - it had two items on it. He is bound and determined that I want other things - but I don't! If I don't already have it, it's because it isn't worth the money or I haven't found what model/color/size that I am looking for.

However, i really like the photobook idea and the date nights!

[Mr. Gatti]

Ibonds - already bought her (and me) the maximum allotment per year

Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving...

[nodenuff2]

Simple give her a gift certificate for a day at a nice SPA , Give her the treatment she desreves. And give her a coupon to take a friend along or share with someone less fortunate.

[PaddyMac]

We're also in the same boat insofar as we buy enough stuff during the year that when Christmas rolls around we find it hard to buy surprises.

I endorse the day spa + friend idea. But your wife sounds very busy and tired out. Rather than a date night, how about a romantic overnight stay in a nice hotel with a hot spring or massage, coupled with dinner etc.

Also, you mention doing more chores around the house etc. What about a bunch of IOUs for washing up, bathing the kids, breakfast in bed, get her car washed, or whatever small thing that you know she likes you to do but that you feel guilty that you don't do more often. Write them out nicely on little cards, put them in a nice mug and/or wrap them up with a bow... She can pick one out whenever she wants to cash them in.

[scouter]

A couple of years ago I bought my wife a digital picture frame and spent many days scanning and editing photos from our 30 year marriage. Photos from our wedding, vacations, the kids through several decades, our old house, even our old cars. She loves it, and knows that it took a lot of time and effort. (It's worth it to edit and size the photos to fit the ratio and resolution of your digital frame.)

[fx24]

Order a music box with her favorite song

[eucalyptus]

Agent Provocateur.

[Mrs.Feeley]

Easy, but you'll have to do it now. Every mother loves their children. Call today and make a secret appointment to take your toddlers to a real professional photographer. Have the session done. Ask to make your selection that day, either in person, or if they allow it, online. Place your order. If you need to pay a rush fee to get the portraits ASAP. They don't have to be big. 5x7 or 8x10" is fine. Place in a some nice frames and watch as she turns to mush on Christmas morning.

+1

[Mrs.Feeley]

How about a heartfelt written letter from you to her - you fill in the blanks, I can't do all the work for you. Plus a night out - you and her minus the toddlers.
I can't imagine many women who would not turn to mush after getting something so original. (well maybe a few)

+1 +1 +1 +1 +1

My favorite "gifts" are fun nights out with the hubby. A heartfelt letter would be a knock-your-socks-off plus.

[BBL]

Money is not an issue, as she already has way more than enough to buy anything she wants (due more to her salary than mine... )

Any ideas

Sounds like a you're in a good place.

Might I suggest a charitable donation to a cause that has meaning to her?

[Atilla]

Get that nice car of hers detailed.

[ginyah]

I love the ideas about a dinner out, a spa treatment and/or a short trip without the children. In my opinion the most important part of any of these gifts is for the husband to arrange the childcare and making the reservations for the event. If it is just the 'gift certificate' with the arrangements for the wife to make it doesn't feel like a gift, it feels like another task to do. It is the planning/arranging that take time, effort and thoughtfulness and therein lies the real gift. Good luck!

[zaga21]

If she really wants to declutter, buy her an appointment with a professional organizer.

[Jay69]

The wife and I gave up on gifts for the most part many years ago. We keep it simple, I give a simple calendar with family pictures and scenic pictures from the past years hikes, etc. You maybe to late for this gift, may need to move fast. I did a retro calendar last year with old photos, that was fun.

The best part, the last few year the calendar shows up on the door step before the wife gets home and my youngest one finds after school and she even wraps it.

[mnnice]

I agree with a pp that said once you have a joint account gifts change. I also suspect you are struggling with this because she has a less gift oriented love language than you do. Most likely there is not a retail shopping experience that will fit the bill.

I would way rather be show love by affection, sexual attention, making a special meal at home. I also think it is sweet when dh washes my car and cleans it for me. Maybe she would like it if you declutter some of your extra?

[Kosmo]

When my wife was little she wanted to be a pirate when she grew up. So this year for Christmas I got her a pirate sword. Not a kids toy, an actual steel sword. I'm not sure what she'll use it for...maybe chopping some veggies for dinner, maybe pillaging a shore town.

Anything you can do that would bring back some perhaps long gone memories or fantasies?

[sscritic]

The wife and I gave up on gifts for the most part many years ago. We keep it simple, I give a simple calendar with family pictures and scenic pictures from the past years hikes, etc.

Good idea; I have made calendars of pictures of the grandchildren for the last several years; my father and children (and grandchildren) all like them. The calendar will also help next year to remind you when Christmas occurs so you can post your question in November.

[SSSS]

http://www.hammacher.com/Product/81326?promo=search

[Watty]

A subscription to a local repertory or community theater.

In the past I have subscribed to the local repertory theater company for an entire series of plays and since we had the tickets already we would work that into our schedule. Some of the productions were not ones that we would have bought individual tickets for so buying the entire series got us out to try some new things.

If you get them on a week night they may be easier plan for because you may have fewer events than on a weekend.

Often if you have a scheduling conflict you can swap tickets for a different night.

If you have trouble finding one of these then check any local colleges to see if they have plays.

[JupiterJones]

Clothes/shoes - she is not into fashion and she would have to pick what she wants herself anyways

Yeah, but that shouldn't stop you. I'm assuming that she works in a professional environment and could always use work appropriate clothes, eh? Well just do the best you can and keep the receipt. Think of the clothes as a "cloth gift certificate" (or the shoes as a "leather gift certificate"!)

If you happen to luck out and she likes what you bought--and if it fits--then you're all set (and she'll appreciate not having to fool with picking it out herself). Otherwise, she can just take it back and get whatever she wants.

You might even get it from somewhere online. That makes it tougher to try things on, but it means you don't have to leave the house to do the exchanging.

If she travels for work, check out someplace like TravelSmith or Magellan's that offers special, travel-friendly women's clothing.

And don't forget about purses. They're one-size-fits-all. Pick up something nice from someplace like Nordstrom's or Bloomie's. Ask the salesperson--or any nearby female shopper--for advice. Again, it's a leather gift certificate. If she doesn't like it, she can pick out something else online and you can offer to take care of fooling with the exchange for her.

JJ

[JupiterJones]

Thought of another one... Does she enjoy an adult beverage now and then? That opens up some possibilities.

There's wine, of course. Sparkling wine in particular makes a good gift, IMHO.

If you have the bucks and the resources, you could track down a bottle of Bordeaux or vintage Champagne from some significant year (birth of child, wedding year, first date, etc.)

If she has a favorite drink--something she orders when you guys go out--you could learn how to make it. Wrap up the ingredients as the "gift" (along with a couple of cocktail glasses if you need them and the drink calls for them), and offer your bartending services whenever she wants them.

Or a subscription to a wine-of-the-month club? (Or cheese-of-the-month, or chocolate-of-the-month, etc.)

JJ

[JupiterJones]

Meals - Another "gift" is, I can work harder to cook her more nice meals

Okay. One more and the I'm done. Honest!

You could hire a private chef for a night. I know we have them around here, maybe they're in your town too? They'll show up, cook a nice meal, pack up the leftovers for your freezer, clean up, and leave.

Or the two of you could take a cooking class together one evening. I'm thinking of something along the lines of a Viking school.

JJ

[jeffarvon]

Flowers.

They express some thoughtfulness, match the definition of gift (as in usually not purchased for self), my wife always enjoys, and are 'consumable' in that they don't add to the home clutter.

[Fallible]

I don't know if your wife is as addicted to coffee as mine is, but almost every morning I get up 10 minutes before she does and bring her a hot mug of coffee in bed. It's not a big deal, and I didn't give this as a gift, but she starts off most mornings with a token of my love (and a delicious cup of coffee!). Sometimes it's the little things... Give her a card entitling her to a month of coffee in bed (and who knows, you might both enjoy it enough to keep it going). ...

A simple, meaningful, lasting "gift" that I hope she appreciates because it IS a BIG DEAL.

[TRC]

Travel - our two toddlers are not yet conditioned to travel - in a hotel room they wail all night - so traveling is more stressful and less restful than just staying home

Since you have young kids (which I'm sure are A LOT of work for her), how about a nice weekend away for her where you stay home with the kids. Hotel, spa, pedicure, kid free weekend. Maybe should could take a friend or sibling? Girls usually love "escape weekends".

[crow]

My husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer in Sept of 2009. The doctors said he had 12 months max life expectancy. That year for Christmas he wrote me a beautiful love letter saying what I and our time together had meant to him. I treasure it above all the other material things he ever gave me. If the house were on fire, that's the one item I'd make sure I got out with. I say write her a love letter. It will mean more than any thing you can buy.

Crow

[TomatoTomahto]

Crow, I'm sorry to hear the circumstances under which it was given, but what a wonderful gift. There are people with everything else in the world, but who don't have that.

[PreemieNurse]

It sounds like all of her material needs are met and she already gets pampering things like housecleaning and massages regularly. I would go with one of these options:

1. Fancy night out/weekend trip with you - where you do all the planning and arrange childcare. Maybe buy her an outfit or token gift that she unwraps first then explain (ie give her a bottle of wine if you're going to a weekend getaway for wine tastings, a bikini if you're taking her to a tropical destination, a necklace she can wear on your date night).

2. Time alone/away from kids - offer to watch the kids or arrange babysitting services so she can go out with her friends or just be alone. You could make a coupon book and she can 'redeem' them as needed.

3. Something sentimental related to the kids - I can think of so many ideas and they don't have to be expensive. You could buy jewelry with their birthstones, make cute handmade Christmas ornaments with their handprints or footprints (may sound daunting but it takes like 5 minutes - google tutorials). You may not have enough time this year but there are always custom calendars, hand stamped necklaces, etc. I like the idea of a digital photo frame already loaded with your photos.

A heartfelt letter is also a nice idea. I make enough money to buy whatever I want throughout the year and don't really need more things. I love getting gifts like these that can't be bought - either experiences or from the heart.

[ryuns]

Just to set the bar really low, I bought my girlfriend a new car stereo so she can more easily listen to podcasts on her commute. But here's the kicker: it's actually being installed in *my* car because that's the one that gets better mileage and that she uses to commute. Ok, fine, I also got her 3 hours worth of massages, but I just thought I'd share the general selfishness of the first "gift".

[crowd79]

What about locally made candy from a local candy store?