"When it’s all over, you’ll be invited to a wonderful restaurant for lunch, where you’ll be encouraged to talk about your family, your children, grandchildren, golf game, vacations, new boat, old boat, fishing, good times, whatever."
Darnitall, I never got the free meal! Or the opportunity (very rare) to talk endlessly about things that interest me that no one else will listen to me talk about. Like my heirloom peony bush collection. Drat!
Or my cat. Double drat!
I knew I should have returned one of the guy's 70+ phone calls after I faxed him the letter terminating his services.
It was at that point, after I failed to return any of his calls, including the ones in which he sounded on the answering machine as if he were sobbing ("I received a letter from Vanguard today. I am very upset about this. <long sigh> They say you have authorized them to transfer your portfolio to Vanguard. I'm not going to transfer anything to Vanguard. Not until we can get together and talk about this...<sob!>..."), that he started calling my husband at work. ("I think your wife is making a serious mistake that is going to adversely effect your chances of ever retiring....<gasp!>...")
At one point I did have to call him because he kept refusing to transfer our accounts to Vanguard, and my husband refused to continue taking his calls, nor did he wish to speak to him again. After a bit of arguing he became angry and accused "I bet you don't have any plan at Vanguard, do you? You don't have a bit of a plan! You're transferring your accounts there with absolutely no plan! That's not a very smart thing to do, you know!" What makes these guys think their former customers owe them an explanation of their plans? I was thinking 'You know perfectly well why we transferred everything to Vanguard, but I'm not going to give you an opportunity to launch an argument against indexing.' I said only "I'm sure we'll figure something out eventually."
In the end it was like a really, really, really bad boyfriend-girlfriend breakup. I bet it's that way for a lot of financial advisory firm customers. You have captured that angst, drama--and foolishness quite nicely in your article.